Toddler overdose

[tripledose]

What would you do in this scenario?

I left DH alone with DD, who is two, for the long weekend to see friends. I take one weekend off a year.

While I was away she came down with a fever and he gave her TRIPLE the dose of paracetomol every 6 hours for all of the three days. I asked him have you double and triple checked the dosage and he said yes yes. I didn't want to second guess him even though I was worried because we have had arguments in the past about me double checking what he says/researches when DD is ill - he says it shows I don't trust him and I am too controlling.

We have spent the day in hospital because I came back to him giving this dosage and was worried about liver damage. Thankfully she is ok but I am furious with him and was out of my mind with worry that DD would suffer permanent damage in some way.

He's pretty competent on the whole but I feel he let his pride and ego get in the way here and risked DD's health as a result.

What do I do? I am so angry.

@Dibbydoos doesn't know what they're talking about, given that they didn't know the OP's weight at that point in the thread. Absolute BS that the OP over-reacted
Hope you and your DD are ok, that's a very near miss.

*OP DD's weight

You know how you get Calpol baby and Calpol 6+? And the 6+ is a lot stronger? So you get eg 200mg in 5ml, compared with 100mg in 5ml in the baby version? It will be something like that.

When I lived in Canada they had these amazing baby ibuprofen drops - in 0.5mls you got a full dose of ibuprofen for a two year old. So much easier to get it into them than 10mins of Calprofen. But if you’d got mixed up and given 10mls of the drops, you’d have given 20x the recommended dose.

Also a paeds nurse, I look after young teens who have overdosed (deliberately albeit) on paracetamol and waited with parents whilst they wait to hear if their child has suffered irreparable damage whilst on infusions to try to counteract the paracetamol some of them can be on this for days, continually monitored and observed. It’s very serious let alone on a 2year old child.

There is a reason the strength of paracetamol for under 6 is 120mg/5ml and over 6 is higher you do need to be So careful! We are very cautious and all paeds nurses double check our meds prior to giving them. Did your husband never question himself that it seemed like a lot of liquid to give a tiny child?
id have been furious too, how completely stupid and irresponsible.

You say he's usually a competent and doting Dad. He made this mistake by checking the dosage instructions for the Calpol brand online NHS.. rather than the leaflet and didn't realise the brand was different abroad.
I think it's an understandable mistake and if he feels really awful I'd try move past it.
Most parents make mistakes, it's the worst part of parenthood the what ifs. He ll be completely paranoid in future when measuring medication I assume.
Hope your all feeling better in a few days. X

I never realised they had taken Medised off the market, I've a funny feeling we still have a bottle in the back of the kitchen cupboard, I must bin it. Ds is 18 by the way, not a toddler.

This 100%

There is often plenty of leeway with the actual dose and the dosage level that would give permanent damage. The liver as an organ can repair itself.
He made a mistake but you need to get over it, I'm sure he's learnt his lesson.

You completely over reacted here OP ref soending a day at hospital. If you look up the dosage of paracetamol neededcto cause liver damage and compare it to the dosage he gave it's miles off. - inappropriate to not check the dosage, I agree, but not a dose that would cause liver damage.

@Dibbydoos You're wrong. In fact the OPs daughter has been very lucky. My uncle was a hepatologist and I always remember him telling us how important it was to be careful with paracetamol, especially a staggered overdose, even if it was just an extra tablet or a lemsip but continously for a few days. A staggered dose like the OPs daughter received is very dangerous. I don't know what it's like now as he's about 15 years retired but I remember him saying at the time that over 50% of liver transplants in Ireland were paracetamol related, most of them accidents. And it's an attitude like yours which would cause mistakes to happen.

The fact that he didn't let you know when the doctor came, despite you specifically asking him to, is worrying. Do you think this has been about him ensuring that he simply WILL NOT do anything that you ask him to do - real oppositional stuff? You ask him to check the dosage of medicine - no, he won't do that. You ask him to let you know when the doctor comes - no, won't do that. Is that the kind of reaction he has to you generally? Is that how your relationship has developed? if so, you need to do some serious thinking about it, because there can be very serious consequences, as you have seen, when one partner refuses, on some kind of mad principle, to accede to any request made by the other. This is an extremely grave and threatening matter. Sorry, but I suspect it's not simply been a stupid mistake, but rather a choice, unconscious or not, to do the opposite of what's been requested by you.

We have a calendar in the kitchen that we use for all medicine. If anyone gives any medicine, it must be written, the dose and time on the calendar and we never ever give medicine without checking with the other parent first.

that is one very strict rule we always follow because 2 children are on long term medication and we were often exhausted so had to do it this way.

did he not discuss it with you that she was unwell and he was giving her the medicine? Was there no contact at all for the whole weekend?

I think you need to bring in a very strict rule about medication, similar to the one we use because you cant really split up with him, as he would have the child regularly for weekends and he can’t be trusted.
im sorry this happened and im glad your child is ok now.

@Dibbydoos I hope you’ll be coming back to apologise for telling the OP she ‘completely overreacted’ and that she was ‘miles off’ a dangerous overdose when that is very clearly untrue.

Words, even words posted anonymously online, have consequences and you really should not be making sweeping declarations on something as serious as this unless you really really know what you’re talking about.

This is my thoughts. I have seen it happen in a friend's marriage. The absolutely batshit behaviour of her DH is beyond belief. Yet she doesn't see it and still thinks she can somehow talk to him and make him see reason. It's utterly pathological and the victims are the DC.

OP I hope you are starting to put the pieces together and see that you don't have to accept or continue living with this man who is willing to put his child in danger just so that mummy his wife can't tell him what to do.

A big issue with paracetamol is that the effective dose and overdose level are so close.

I portion my dhs paracetamol out each morning so I don’t give too much.

Omg I'd have killed my husband!! Glad your daughter is okay.

Taking TRIPLE the prescribed dose, repeatedly, several times a day for several days, is WAY beyond ‘leeway’. And this is a toddler we are talking about. I cannot believe how cavalier some of these posters are being.

Well he would have had to give her 4 or 5 spoons of it, for 500mg and that would take a big effort. he knew that wasn’t right.

Not necessarily.
The OP is not in the UK and as several posters have pointed out, different countries sell medication in different concentrations. I have bought paracetamol suspension abroad as 100mg/ml, so one 5ml spoonful would be 500mg.

This. You’ve said he feels bad about it. It was an understandable mistake to make. Your DD has been medically cleared as no harm done. I’d honestly move past it.

Your poor dh made a mistake because he is human
Don't you think he loves dd every bit as much as you do and is equally distraught?
How will you feel when you make a mistake or have a near miss (and believe me you will!)and he won't speak to you.
You are riding for a fall!

The op has said they frequently row over the child's health and that he considers her too controlling. She obviously has good reason to be. He hasn't learned anything and put his child at great risk due to ego. Its not a one off, its a pattern. Try reading between the lines maybe.

This sounds very like our are making your dh choose between his new wife and his children.i don't understand why you can't wear earplugs and share a room

One mistake isn’t a pattern? Not sure how “ego” results in using an NHS webpage versus another? I feel like your “reading between the lines” is really adding 2 + 2 and coming up with 22.

Try reading the third paragraph in main post. He doesn't listen to her.

This paragraph?
”While I was away she came down with a fever and he gave her TRIPLE the dose of paracetomol every 6 hours for all of the three days. I asked him have you double and triple checked the dosage and he said yes yes. I didn't want to second guess him even though I was worried because we have had arguments in the past about me double checking what he says/researches when DD is ill - he says it shows I don't trust him and I am too controlling.”

How was he not listening to the OP? He double and triple checked the dose like she asked, he was just accidentally using the wrong guidance page. 🧐