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Original poster

Toddler overdose

140 replies

tripledose · 07/06/2022 15:26

What would you do in this scenario?

I left DH alone with DD, who is two, for the long weekend to see friends. I take one weekend off a year.

While I was away she came down with a fever and he gave her TRIPLE the dose of paracetomol every 6 hours for all of the three days. I asked him have you double and triple checked the dosage and he said yes yes. I didn't want to second guess him even though I was worried because we have had arguments in the past about me double checking what he says/researches when DD is ill - he says it shows I don't trust him and I am too controlling.

We have spent the day in hospital because I came back to him giving this dosage and was worried about liver damage. Thankfully she is ok but I am furious with him and was out of my mind with worry that DD would suffer permanent damage in some way.

He's pretty competent on the whole but I feel he let his pride and ego get in the way here and risked DD's health as a result.

What do I do? I am so angry.

OP posts:
Original poster
tripledose · 07/06/2022 17:28

@devonianBiatch did your friend stay with her OH?

Thank you @teleskopregel and others for the comments. I am appalled, it was a mistake but a terrible one. He feels very bad. Even though the tests came back clear I dont know if there could have been damage that wouldn't have shown in the tests. And I don't know what to do about DH either😔

OP posts:
DarkCharlotte · 07/06/2022 17:34

My husband drank practically a whole bottle of calpol when he was a kid

I used to sneak the calpol out and drink it too, but I was a teenager. I just loved the taste of it...

I'd be furious OP!!

Whowhatwherewhenwhynow · 07/06/2022 17:42

Are you sure it was a mistake? It just seems like such a stupid basic mistake to make. He wasn’t purposely giving extra to get her to settle?

id be annoyed too. However how annoyed would be dependent on if he was always so incompetent. A one off is one thing, but if it’s a regular thing that he can’t provide safe basic care…that’s worrying.

MumInBrussels · 07/06/2022 17:43

Does he have an explanation for his thought process, @tripledose ? I'm in Belgium, and we also have a different type of children's paracetamol syrup, though here it's dosed by weight rather than age and the syringes are marked by kilos.

It has never occurred to me to look at the NHS website rather than the box the medicine came in for any medicine, let alone one that we didn't buy in the UK. I just can't imagine why you would - why did he think he should? Let alone getting it so wrong. Had he never given her paracetamol before? (Looking like a wise decision, if so!) Had he somehow not noticed that you didn't consult the NHS website when previously giving her paracetamol?

I'd want to know exactly how this happened and what he plans to do to make sure it doesn't happen again, for any medicine. It's no good him feeling bad about it, this could have had serious consequences for your daughter. He needs to do more than just feel bad and hope everyone just moves on and forgets about this.

SlightlyGeordieJohn · 07/06/2022 17:53

Pixiedust1234 · 07/06/2022 15:29

Protoct your child. Ditch the husband. Its not going to get better, only worse. He's shown you the real him. His ego matters more than his own child.

Ditch him over a mistake? There are some ludicrous posts on here sometimes, yours is one of the worst.

MadameDragon · 07/06/2022 17:56

Was it strategic incompetence so that you won’t go away again?
I would be able to get over the mistake but not the attitude.

SunflowerGardens · 07/06/2022 17:59

Does he even feel bad?

Twizbe · 07/06/2022 18:07

@DarkCharlotte it really does taste good doesn't it.

OP - my DH really is fine and no long term damage from his clear overdose.

He is VERY cautious with medicine for our kids now though. Medicine is way out of reach.

devonianBiatch · 07/06/2022 18:20

@tripledose

No she didn’t. Social services took a very dim view of him telling her that he had medicated the kid for an easy weekend. It didn’t matter that it was hearsay, he admitted to giving her too much and so that was enough for them to be concerned. So she made the choice to separate. She is much happier. He went on some parenting courses and then quietly dropped out of the kids life over 12 months. Very sad but at least she knows he isn’t drugging her for an easy over night stay.

Swayingpalmtrees · 07/06/2022 18:27

Jesus Christ. That is huge. I am so sorry for your little one op and hope she is okay now. The trust would be seriously seriously impaired after that.

My dd climbed up and opened toddler proof cupboard to eat iron vitamins she considered to be sweets, I was furious because she was with my dh at the time and he knew he had to keep an eye on her at all times. She went to hospital and she was fine, but it took a long time for me to get over it. To be fair he was utterly devastated, more than me, and I have never seen him so distraught. He thought she was safe in our toddler proof house, but she wasn't.

When I calmed down, I realised that like some of the other things that have happened - accidents and mistakes happen, we are all human. It took a very long time for me to see it like this though.

sickofthisnonsense · 07/06/2022 18:28

Some of the cavalier attitudes to paracetamol here scare the shit out of me!

A friend died due to accidental paracetamol overdose. Adult taking paracetamol and having lemsip type hot drinks. Wasn't even a vast amount over the doses but She died a nasty death.

Just because you can buy it for 15p in the supermarket doesn't mean it's harmless.

Remember mediced? The one with antihistamine and paracetamol that idiots were giving their kids to get them to sleep? Of was taken off the market because of the misuse.

Your DH could have killed your child.
This isn't an innocent mistake. You asked him and he dismissed you.

I would actually be rethinking my whole relationship- he needs to understand just how dangerous his ignorant attitude is.
I hope the medical staff let him have it- did they flag it to safeguarding?

I don't know that I could ever trust him with a child care again

coffeecupsandfairylights · 07/06/2022 18:31

SunflowerGardens · 07/06/2022 17:59

Does he even feel bad?

OP has said he does.

Swayingpalmtrees · 07/06/2022 18:32

For me it would depend on his reaction, and how he is feeling about it. If he is indifferent I would no longer consider him a safe person to have around my dc and take action accordingly, if he is feeling terrible then this might just be one of the terrible mistakes we make as parents and focus on the fact she is okay, and work on trust. If he is usually a very loving, caring and careful father then I would give it time op.

Caterina99 · 07/06/2022 18:35

I’m so careful with this as we also lived abroad and had the extra strong kids paracetamol and ibruprofen. Which was great as you give them a tiny amount in a syringe. The doses were also given as weights not ages like calpol is.

Thankfully DH is a chemist and is even more paranoid about this stuff than me.

A mistake I could forgive of course, we all make mistakes. But not checking after you queried it, would be a massive issue for me.

yeahy · 07/06/2022 18:38

SlightlyGeordieJohn · 07/06/2022 17:53

Ditch him over a mistake? There are some ludicrous posts on here sometimes, yours is one of the worst.

Show quote history

A mistake where the child could have died!

amy_192 · 07/06/2022 18:39

Some really extreme responses on here!! Men are notorious for thinking they're right and not listening to 'nagging' wives/partners. I doubt very much it was done on purpose just a blasé attitude to something that should have been done with more care which I'm sure we have all been guilty of at some point in our lives. As long as it was a genuine mistake and he is feeling very guilty and remorseful and your little one is ok then I personally think it's not something to consider separating over especially if you have no other issues. We all learn from our mistakes and I bet he will triple check everything in future!! Better a mistake that didn't end up causing harm that can be learned from than one that causes the unthinkable to happen.

Moosake · 07/06/2022 18:40

While I was away she came down with a fever and he gave her TRIPLE the dose of paracetomol every 6 hours for all of the three days. why did he keep doing it if it wasn't stopping the fever. He is such an idiot. He could have killed your child. I wouldn't be able to forgive this. Or trust that he won't do something similar again. So that would mean I'd never leave him with his own child alone again. Which is shit isn't it.

Outwiththenorm · 07/06/2022 18:41

We write the correct doses on the boxes now as it’s too stressful trying to work out weight/ml in the middle of the night which is invariably when our DC require medicine. You’re not wrong to be furious. I would be raging.

Moosake · 07/06/2022 18:41

amy_192 · 07/06/2022 18:39

Some really extreme responses on here!! Men are notorious for thinking they're right and not listening to 'nagging' wives/partners. I doubt very much it was done on purpose just a blasé attitude to something that should have been done with more care which I'm sure we have all been guilty of at some point in our lives. As long as it was a genuine mistake and he is feeling very guilty and remorseful and your little one is ok then I personally think it's not something to consider separating over especially if you have no other issues. We all learn from our mistakes and I bet he will triple check everything in future!! Better a mistake that didn't end up causing harm that can be learned from than one that causes the unthinkable to happen.

It was a genuine mistake but caused by his attitude of "I know better"

ComDummings · 07/06/2022 18:41

That’s not a mistake it’s neglect

nutella8 · 07/06/2022 18:41

Firstly glad to hear your DD is ok. Now, on to your DH. Can I suggest a large frying pan is vigorously applied to his head 3x per day for a week to ensure correct dosage, hopefully remedies his underlying alignment.

amy_192 · 07/06/2022 18:42

@Moosake yes I agree but I imagine it must have terrified him and made him rethink his attitude and luckily didn't cause serious harm

Swayingpalmtrees · 07/06/2022 18:47

Parents DO make mistakes. All parents make mistakes, some are obviously bigger others.
He probably feels absolutely beyond awful, can you imagine making such a huge mistake that your child could have actually died?
It must be horrendous to be responsible for such a terrible thing happening to his dd. I am sure on some level he must be struggling to forgive himself.

But, dd is okay and completely fine so we need to bear in mind the outcome as well as the mistake.

If you feel there is any chance whatsoever he did it on purpose then that is obviously entirely different.

Moosake · 07/06/2022 18:48

amy_192 · 07/06/2022 18:42

@Moosake yes I agree but I imagine it must have terrified him and made him rethink his attitude and luckily didn't cause serious harm

I guess. If it had have caused harm though it wouldn't have been OK. I'm not sure the luck should make this ok.

Dinosaur975326788900864322456778899900754543 · 07/06/2022 18:49

Does he know to read the instructions on the medicine he’s actually using next time? Not some random official website unrelated to the medicine? This is a ridiculously stupid mistake which boarders on neglect in my mind. I’m not sure I would be able to trust him again with child care. What’s he like otherwise? Is he normally responsible?