Toddler overdose

[tripledose]

What would you do in this scenario?

I left DH alone with DD, who is two, for the long weekend to see friends. I take one weekend off a year.

While I was away she came down with a fever and he gave her TRIPLE the dose of paracetomol every 6 hours for all of the three days. I asked him have you double and triple checked the dosage and he said yes yes. I didn't want to second guess him even though I was worried because we have had arguments in the past about me double checking what he says/researches when DD is ill - he says it shows I don't trust him and I am too controlling.

We have spent the day in hospital because I came back to him giving this dosage and was worried about liver damage. Thankfully she is ok but I am furious with him and was out of my mind with worry that DD would suffer permanent damage in some way.

He's pretty competent on the whole but I feel he let his pride and ego get in the way here and risked DD's health as a result.

What do I do? I am so angry.

So glad your DD is ok OP. No harm to follow up with a doc and ask the questions you need to reassure yourself that she's ok.

As for the husband... I don't think it's quite Leave The Bastard territory but I would find it very difficult to forgive his carelessness and thoughtlessness. I'd also probably lord it over him at every opportunity that you're away for one weekend and he overdoses the child because he can't be fucked to read the correct leaflet or even listen to you. Then I'd make sure for any other occasions that he says "stop nagging me" I'd respond with the last time I didn't nag you, we ended up in a&e so shut the fuck up and listen.

You’re right, paracetamol can be so dangerous. Sorry about your friend.

Could it be that every time your kid is ill it is always you dealing with it and sorting out medicine? And now it has happened on his watch, he ended up doing that clueless thing and making it up? Not an excuse, he could have read it, but let this be a warning to other parents - all aspects of parenting must be shared and the first times a kid gets ill, BOTH should be dealing with it so both know what to do on future occasions. It's like my friend not knowing how to get the car seat in and out the car - 'oh but my husband has always done that'.

Sorry OP I'd struggle to get past this. Are Social Services (or similar agency abroad) now involved? This is awful.

I hope he wasn’t sedating her. Your a very lucky mother that she’s lived to tell the tale.

The issue is not the mistake, it's the bullshitting that led to it and the fact that he can't be trusted to behave like an adult when looking after his own child.

I'm so glad your little girl hasn't suffered any serious damage. It was VERY stupid of him not to check the dosage very very carefully. Toddlers can have a maximum of 5mls every 6 hours and Calpol comes with either a 5ml spoon or 5ml syringe for this reason.

What you do with regards to your husband now I'm not going to advise on because I just don't know. However, I'd find a bright neon sticker (or five) and write on it the dosage and frequency so that there's no ambiguity next time. Stick the stickers on the bottle AND the box but try not to cover the writing on the bottle, expiration date etc.

You've had one hell of a scare and hopefully there are no medical repercussions. You did absolutely the right thing taking her straight to hospital when you realised. Hopefully this will have rattled DH's cage enough to make sure he never, ever makes the same mistake again - not just with Calpol but antibiotics and any other medication your child(ren) may need.

Remind him if he's ever unsure about dosage he should ring 111 for clarification, or even your doctor's surgery within opening hours.

So how much did he actually give her? Was he giving four doses of 360mg per day?

I find it suspicious he didn't come and find you when the doctor arrived

If he's already clearly upset why do you have to "do" anything? He did try and check dosages (OK in a pretty stupid way) but it's not like he gave her the bottle and told her to get on with it.

What would you like him to do when you make a stupid mistake?

Well put 👏

Are you sure he really did it? Or was he annoyed at having to look after his child alone all weekend and wants to make sure you don’t ask him to do it again?

That’s not a “mistake” it’s wilful arrogance

and I find it suspicious he didn’t call you back when the dr arrived

'Men are notorious for thinking they're right and not listening to 'nagging' wives/partners. I doubt very much it was done on purpose just a blasé attitude to something that should have been done with more care'

Yeah that's exactly the problem.

This is what makes me think he’s done it on purpose. Maybe in the mistaken belief the medication would make her drowsy.

You completely over reacted here OP ref soending a day at hospital. If you look up the dosage of paracetamol neededcto cause liver damage and compare it to the dosage he gave it's miles off. - inappropriate to not check the dosage, I agree, but not a dose that would cause liver damage.

What I am worried about is the fact you checked this. You clearly question his competency as a parent and, even if there's no harm done this time, you were right to check. So he has done other things to cause you to worry, yet he's competent in other areas. Is he trying to hurt your child? Does he do it to punish you? Finding out why he does this is really important. If it was my child I'd be kicking him out esp if this is a pattern.

Poor baby, I hope she's over the illness by now.

I am absolutely appalled. As others said, your dd could have died. The fact that he didn’t call you when the doctor came is a red flag. Has he admitted to the hospital that it was his mistake, not yours?

@Porcupineintherough good question. It seems an honest mistake but I am so angry that I can't speak to him and so we are not talking which is not really sustainable. The mistake is so reckless that I feel like shouting at him but what would that achieve?

He was giving her upwards of 500mg three times a day, which is at, or at least close to, the toxic level and it was the right thing to take her to the hospital since she only weighs 11.5kg.

I can't imagine he was being purposely incompetent or trying to punish me or hurt her, he is a truly doting dad, I think it's as @BatshitBanshee and others have said that he was careless because he felt he was being nagged. Which is why I mentioned ego in the first post. I feel so angry but it was a mistake, but I dont know how to move on from it, I've just been crying thinking of what could have happened and it's wretched

Have social services been notified?

@Mummyoflittledragon he said he didn't call me back because it all happened so quickly and he didn't understand that he should call me to come back when they returned... this is an intelligent man with a fancy education we are talking about but from this you would think he is a complete and utter moron

This could have been so dangerous. I’d find it really hard to trust him with her after this.

Thank you @Swayingpalmtrees for the balanced advice

This is a massive mistake and your daughter is incredibly lucky. Paracetamol overdose is very very nasty.

Accidents happen, but he should be mortified. Him refusing to talk to you about it is totally unacceptable and would make me totally re-evaluate him and his attitudes towards you both.

I'd be furious. Yes we all make mistakes as parents, but giving medicine to a child is a time when you double triple check that you're doing it right. And if I did somehow accidentally overdose my 2 year old, I can't imagine how awful I'd feel. Is he genuinely remorseful and horrified?

I don't know how it is where you are, but in my DP's country paracetamol is only available behind the counter in the pharmacy. It's annoying to make that extra trip, but I think it really highlights to buyers that it's a potentially dangerous medicine and I now find the UK attitude to paracetamol rather blasé.

Are you a paediatrician? There’s a paediatric nurse upthread mortified by the dosage.