How do you cope with being rejected by a family member?

[TalkSomeSense1]

Posting here for traffic. Sorry

Just that, really. What coping strategy do you have in place to enable you to deal with the pain it's caused/causing? It's something I'm going through at the moment and I need to take back the power and learn to live with it.

Hi op
🌈 the best way I cope is to accept that you are on one path at the moment and the relative not speaking to you is walking another path.
Your paths may touch again in the future,they may not,but you cannot change another person's path.wish them well on it and let go.
Then concentrate on living in the immediate now.Forget yesterday,don't worry about tomorrow,focus on what is good in your life right now .I
In your heart you know you'd be there for them if they needed you and you hope it's true vice versa because you have that connection.
Don't let your pain,anger,resentment,hurt or anything else break that connection down.
Just accept what is and move on,don't hold on to negative emotions as they will drag you down.🌈

Can you explain what you mean when you say "rejected?"

My mother rejected me all my life - has never said she loved me. She gloried in all my defeats and problems, and seethed at my few victories and successes.

The day she finally went NC with me, because I stood up to her, was the best day of my life. Such a gift!

It depends entirely on why and how the rejection occurred.

For me it has always been a blessing. I have no idea how my parents spin it. Nor do I care!

Much more info and context needed to be able to comment @TalkSomeSense1

@TalkSomeSense1 what family member? what happened??

Well it depends on the actual circumstances doesn't it?! My particular relatives have burnt their bridges and I hope our paths don't cross again! if you mean how do you get over the hurt/stress induced by this, I'm afraid it's just time and try not to ruminate over past conversations....... Which I know is difficult. I used mindfulness techniques for middle of the night wakings, not allowing myself to think about it and just be kind to yourself with anything that helps you to relax. Eventually you start to feel better and, if circumstances are like mine, have so much more time to yourself to relax and feel calm that it is actually a benefit to me that they are no longer mithering and demanding constant attention. 💐

@Watermill your final sentence is exactly the same for me, unfortunately it took til nearly 60 before I said no to her for the first time in her life........ Just wish I'd done it sooner💐

It really does depend on the context. I have 'rejected' the entire maternal side of my family (apart from my lovely mum) because they chose to defend a peadophile family member and tell everyone I was mentally ill rather than one of his victims. So I don't think those family members deserve any advice or explanation but obviously you might have a different experience/context?

Depends doesn't it. Perhaps it's deserved?

List the pros and cons of the relationship. There are probably more cons and in time you won't miss them so much.
However, I agree with the obove posters we need some details to advise you appropriately.

@KarmaStar has said it beautifully. I am going through the same process with my daughter. We have always had personality clashes but this time it seems so final 😟

You just accept it and move on. Don't allow them headspace

This is exactly it. Thank you! I'm trying hard not to hold on to anger and upset but it's so hard at the moment. Just through the thick of it but trying hard to not let that come out in the wrong way.

I'm not going into the why's and wherefores as I don't want specific advice on what has happened. I refuse to feed the vampires who revel in drama. I wanted advice on coping with what has happened and this helps massively. xx

It's happened to me and I agree with @maddy68 just accept and move on. Silence is golden. Don't keep chasing them for their affection, you don't need it. They will soon realise, maybe they won't.

Rejection comes in many forms, and on many levels?

Absolutely. Thank you xx

I'm not going into the why's and wherefores as I don't want specific advice on what has happened. I refuse to feed the vampires who revel in drama. I wanted advice on coping with what has happened

I don't think anyone can give advice on coping without knowing a bit about what you are trying to cope with

Blimey I was going to offer some insights but am wary of being called a bint.

Do go well OP.

Same.

The rudeness is strong with this one.

Agree with OP she isn't obliged to go into the what and why's of the situation OP wanted advice on how to cope with it as they have said.

Don't think you'll get much more from this OP as the same drama leaches will be all over this in a minute. Leave now

It's hardly dramatic to ask for some context.

Happened to me. My father was abusive but boiled over with rage about a year ago and went NC and forced my mother to.

he didn’t speak to his own father until the day before he died and I doubt he will to me and he is an 🤒 85 year old.
I will get a phone call at some point - and I won’t be going.

accept it isn’t you and if that is how they feel
you don’t need them in your life.

counselling taught me that both my parents are narcs and narcs cut people off that dare to disagree.

see it as keeping safe.

that’s a beautiful poison snake - Might be nice to others or to desire to hold it as it is so pretty but each time you do it bites you.

watch dr Raman videos on YouTube

But I think people want to know to gauge how to heal it. Is they have abused you - physically you can get counselling for it. Isolated you - it’s about network and friendship, ridiculed you advice could be a new hobby.

context and likeliness of flying monkeys or siblings are context so people can give you the best advice.

for me I wanted them to love me like I love them and they live ten minutes away and we moved to be near them etc so for me counselling and understanding what they did and why they did it (I stood up to them) allows me to deal with it and stop crying and grow