To feel sad for Prince Harry

[OldManRivers]

Have been looking at the photos today of Harry in the car being driven from the airport in America back to his home. He looks so sad. It must be very difficult for him to attend a huge family occasion like that with his role drastically changed, and to see all of his family but now he's on the sidelines popping in so very sporadically.

Also I can't help but think he must feel sad to think his children won't grow up around their cousins, and extended family. Meghan doesn't have any family except her mother so they don't have any in America either.

Originally he and Meghan wanted to carry on being part of the royal machine and do appearances etc but also have some independence so it's not as though this life was their original plan, where it seems like they're sidelined and alienated. AIBU to think regardless of what's gone on it must be very hard for him to be in another country, away from his ailing grandmother who he is very close to, and feel like a bit of an outcast?

Neither the Yorks or the Phillips are classed as Senior Royals.

Exactly. There's absolutely no reason why Harry and Meghan, as fairly minor royals pretty far down the line of succession, couldn't have enjoyed the same "half in half out" status as any of those non-senior royals who enjoy all the perks of royalty but have total freedom to pursue commercial endeavours and exploit their titles for money.

Very rich late-30yo man lives life he actively choses to lead - moving to a mansion in another country and continually publicly insulting all his family members (more to come in his book, most likely) and his entire home country. He may regret his life choices, as I think he should do - but I have zero sympathy for him.

Do I feel sorry for a 40 year old rich, privileged man who is happily married with two children, living in a multi million pound mansion in America, never has to work a day in his life again if he chooses, just flew to the UK and back on a private jet despite preaching to the masses about climate change and is carrying out his life as HE chose? Absolutely not.

I'm saying that a comment made to me about DS in the same context didn't bother me

But you're white?

The only person making sweeping generalisations here is you: about white mothers of mixed race children.

Because whenever there's a thread about racism here, like clockwork someone pops up claiming to have mixed race kids and acting like that qualifies them as white women to tell black women what is and is not racist. I've seen it a million times.

You've got the wrong person.

Princess Michael of Kent, not the Duchess of Kent.

H&M got exactly the same treatment as the Yorks and Phillips this weekend.

None of them were on the balcony.

When did they slag off the Queen?

The whole point of that Oprah interview was to slag off the Royal Family, of which the Queen is the Head. Plus, thanks to Meghan dropping the bombshell but not naming any names, we can only speculate on who made the comment about Archie's skin colour and perhaps that was the Queen herself?

I just thought calling their daughter Lilibet, a really intimate nickname, whilst Oprah's sofa was still warm (or any time really after that) was just so bizarre!

He could have stepped down from being front line royal and lived a quieter private life without washing his dirty laundry in public and bringing the family into disrepute. If they’d done that it would have been perfectly possible to meet up and enjoy things like this weekend as part of the wider family. As things are it’s difficult because of all the press attention that would garner, due to what they themselves have said, plus there’s the lack of trust as any royal interactions are exploited and monetised. It wasn’t a case of wanting a quiet life outside the spotlight was it, more a super rich celebrity lifestyle outside of royal restrictions, and since they aren’t super rich or megawatt celebs without trading on the royal connections it’s all a bit awkward.

His choice.

What's that saying... you've made your bed, now you lie on it?

You are right - flim flam about Archie's colour. They knew the RF couldnt fight back although the statement by the Queen afterwards was very good. I am mixed race and my oldest son takes after me in looks. Plenty of the family commented on who he would take after before he was born. Was I shocked by anyone saying 'I wonder who he will take after, what his hair colour will be etc'. FGS - of course not. It's normal conversation unless of course you want to spin it in front of millions of viewers on the Oprah show.

As a PP says M has all the control now. M has fallen out with most of her family and now his, taken H to the other side of the world where its all on her terms. She gets to call the shots now and I suspect it wont end well.

No, I don’t feel sorry for a wealthy, grown man who has made his own choices in life, which include making money off the back of the family in grubby talk shows.

Meghan does have family, she has just alienated herself from them and continues to do so.

They thought they would be more popular than they are. Most people, including those who do considerable charitable work beneath the radar, don’t like the grabbiness.

I see echoes of Amber Heard in Meghan. She thought they would become the new Obamas or Clintons without doing the actual lifelong work.

Whoever wore the brooch: there is no excuse for it

Definitely agree with this - also that it would have been an obvious thing to mention to Oprah - but Princess Michael's hardly first rank royalty and maybe they thought a no-name smear would be more impactful in enabling speculation that it was someone of higher rank?

I really don't care about the mealy-mouthed "It would be damaging" (as if the rest of it wasn't); if someone said what was alleged they deserve to be damaged, but to my mind flinging accusations like that with no further detail was detestable

While to is true that some RF members, like the Tindalls, are allowed to pursue their private interests and still attend public family events, it is also true that they are private individuals who do not take money from the Queen and do not write "memoirs', give interviews to Oprah, have Scobie as spokesperson or sell their lives to Netflix for a TV series. Harry and Meghan are quite unique in this respect.

They don't enjoy all the perks of royalty.

They don't represent the queen, don't have royal patronages, don't receive funding from the public purse, don't have taxpayer funded security. Anne's children don't even have titles, let alone HRH.

Absolutely no reason why Meghan and Harry couldn't have had the same deal as the Yorks if they had wanted. But that isn't what they wanted. They wanted to continue to receive most of the perks they had as 'working royals', while also doing their own thing in America. That was never going to fly.

He looked on edge when he arrived to the church, even when they were walking to their seats. He appeared to relax a little when sat down and was joking with his cousins husband but it didn't (at least to me) look very natural. Meanwhile Megan looked so much calmer and at ease, I realise she is an actress so can maybe hide it better but she provides him with an emotional crux and not the other way around. He is the one who has attended numerous royal events, not her yet she is the one who props him up. He had mentioned his mental health before and I can believe he struggles.

If anything I think it hurts his ego to be sidelined He like the rest of his family define white privilege and now to some extent he isn't being afforded that in the way he is used to. That must be hard to deal with.

It's very easy for the media to blame Megan but he has already stated that he was unhappy for a long time before she even arrived on the scene. They are quite clearly in love and have chosen another life.

100%. No distant relative needs to be commenting on a baby's skin colour with concerns about it. White people bend over backwards to defend it, just because Meghan is the accuser.

'I imagined what my baby would look like' they say. Yes, YOUR child. And we're you worried it would be too dark?

Excatly this, especially in the current climate, where people are unable to feed their children or heat their houses, or put petrol in the car.

Not at the top of my list for public sympathy.

If he wanted the quiet life, stay off Oprah and Netflix. He wants fame on his own terms, and when he can not control the narrative he has a tantrum and pleads the victim card.

A pathetic spoilt little brat.

I don't feel the slightest bit sorry for the whining sour faced man-child. You reap what you sow. Scuttle off back to your mansion in Cali and stay there! He wanted privacy and financial independence whilst cherry-picking what royal engagements he would undertake (balcony appearances in fancy uniform, red carpet walks) but was told he was either a working royal or he wasn't. What's there to feel sorry about? If he'd not slagged off his family in that Oprah interview maybe he wouldn't now find himself sidelined and cold shouldered - choices have consequences, Harry!

The thing I don’t get is why so many still treat Harry as though he is a clueless teen, he is in his 40s .
he made some huge errors that are starting to effect him and his family , but it’s really no ones fault but him.

H&M got exactly the same treatment as the Yorks and Phillips this weekend.

Surely that's proof that it would have been perfectly possible for them to be given the "half in half out" status they wanted all along?

The whole "you can't be half in or half out" was just an attempt at calling their bluff to force Harry to remain and be the family's whipping boy, and to try to drive Meghan out. No one expected Harry to call their bluff and walk away.

Now Harry has his own life and family and seems perfectly happy and to have no desire to move back to England, the RF are scrabbling to get Harry back, to please the press and try to prove the RF isn't as toxic and dysfunctional as it appears.

I think the Oprah interview was several steps too far. Harry seems like an angry & lost boy. Meghan looked robotic.

I hope they find real happiness.