To be annoyed my friends are old before their time!

[Springchicken03]

37F here, and this is something that’s really getting my goat lately.

A few of my friends (some in particular) are moaning that they’re ‘old’ - for example ‘couldn’t wait to get home for a cuppa by 8pm, I’m so old!’ Or ‘Mum on the school run is 26, I’m so old!’ Etc etc. It is every time we speak and it’s wearing me down.

AIBU to think that the only thing that makes you old is when you start droaning on about it?

People should do what they want with their evenings it’s not like I’m out clubbing or pubbing either but we are in our thirties for
goodness sake, not eighties!

This bothers me too. I have no idea why either it’s just when they go on and on and start going on about how old they are and it’s so frustrating like no you are not old you are 30 why do you keep saying it.

I’m 37 and still very young. Your friends are idiots. 😂

I had a Facebook friend who wrote that she was 'too old' to wear a miniskirt at 25. I definitely put her in the 'pathetic' category in my head!

Ha, yes I totally agree!
I still have long hair in my mid 50s - apparently, according to some very backward thinkers, I should have had it cut short as soon as I left my 30s, if not earlier!
Nope.
I think styles and tastes do change as you get older - and these days I wouldn't be arsed with wearing ankle-breaker shoes just for the looks of it, for e.g. - but people should still wear what they like and are comfortable with!
I saw a FB thingy about what 50+ women should be wearing and I didn't even bother to read it. I wear what I wear - and to be fair it hasn't changed a huge amount since my 20s - because I like it (mostly jeans/trousers and t-shirt/long sleeved scoop neck shirt).

The only time I feel "old" is when my bloody back is playing up - but it's done that since I was a child, so isn't really a symptom of "oldness", just my crap skeletal structure.

I was thinking of another thing to do with this last night.

I am 42, but my youngest is 20 months, I don’t really know anyone where we live but I have met a few of women at toddler groups.

They are all younger than me, 25-29 and they all seem to try and make themselves sound like they act really old around me? Always saying “yeah, I feel so old, I’m so old and knackered” and smiling at me, that sort of thing.

Its so odd! I think it’s because I am older and they know my age because when I mention my eldest who is 20 years old, I always get a shocked “omg, 20? How old are you?” (not blowing my own trumpet, but I look much younger than my age, always have done).

I don’t think about people’s ages, I don’t come across as being older than them in the way I act and I don’t moan about feeling old and knackered or anything.

It gets a bit much when they keep doing it.

Also they tell me stories of friends who they have had to tell to “grow up” with a knowing look to me - like I am some sort of more grown up.

I’m actually an immature twat.

Even if I live to 90, I will be going into the ground with dyed brown, long hair.

Loads of people I knew from my youth now have grey bobs in their early/mid 40s. I will never show one of my (many, from when I see my roots) grey hairs, it’s not for me.

I joke that I’m going to be like McCartney, keeping that mahogany dye going into old age.

The issue with a number of the posters on this thread is that they don’t seem to really like their “friends” irrespective of any age comments!

sunshinesupermum glad another oldie who doesn't feel old. Like you am 70+ still caring for a 16 year old severely disabled daughter with complex medical needs. I firmly believe the busier you are the better you are.
Most of you are young whippersnappers enjoy your lives and be grateful you are alive don't let your miserable friends get you down!

Same. I dont get the obsession with grey bobs either. Of all the people that I know have them, I have to say, it doesnt suit any of them and it ages them terribly.

All these "rules" about what to wear, do and look like at a certain age are utter BS. How can anyone possibly say that one style will fit everyone on the planet who is over 40? You wouldnt tell a younger person "well, all younger people under age 26 ought to have blonde hair" because it would be stupid. I will wear what I like, when I like and I really dont give a crap what anyone else thinks about it. At least I will be doing what makes me happy, and not following some weird made up societal rule like the rest of the sheep!

I tend to distance myself from people like this, because as you say, it's repetitive and boring. And usually they're either fishing for compliments or they're subtlety sneering at those who still do things and go places.

My mother started doing this at 30 and it was such a miserable attitude to grow up around. She still looks at me in confusion and asks 'but aren't you a bit old for that?' at such things as going out with friends or taking trips.

@Chikapu

there is no grain of truth in it though. At 37 she is by no means old

OP your friends are being daft. You are not old. What even is ‘old’ anyway!? It’s a state of mind.

Ignore some of the people on here. Mumsnet has so many posters who properly hate going out and socialising, can’t abide alcohol, think make up and taking a pride in your appearance is shallow and self indulgent, shop in Boden, can see no value in travelling and seeing the world etc etc

I am in my late 50’s and already a widow. Some days I feel old and some days I feel like I did when I was 21. Nothing to do with what I wear or how my hair is just how I am feeling on that day.
I dress the same asI did 25 years ago. Like now it is summer I will wear shorts until at least September and then out will come the joggers and fleece jumpers. My hair is longer than I ever had it in my 20’s and 30’s mainly as I can’t be arsed to waste money on a hair dresser so I leave it to grow long and just put it up with one of my large collection of different scrunches. It is also grey at the front but I gave up dying it years ago. I don’t feel the need to try to impress anyone or be different than I am and I do think that comes with age. I hope to live for many more years yet but I can’t deny that I am ageing which is fine by me.

I'm 29 and just finished a holiday in Orlando I always thought people lazing round the pool for 2 weeks were incredibly boring I get it now it's exhausting working lots of hours maintaining the home then being non stop on holiday. I need a holiday to recover 😂.I think it could be an age thing

It’s the opposite for me op! I’m
your age and all my friends are on their first baby , my eldest is 11. All the parents in my sons class tend to be a lot older though so I kind of feel more like their age at times and they have conversations like you mention including lumping us all together with menopause etc ( obvs that’s coming !)
But now I’m getting way more sleep than years ago as my dcs all sleep, I’m fitter than ever and look better tbh so really don’t feel old and think 37 is relatively young these days and I intend to enjoy it and v happy I’m not knee deep in nappies and sleepless nights and have to plan more ttc like all of my friends are! Me and my dh are getting back out a bit and we swap over to do hobbies and happy to have the energy for 3 older, v sporty kids.

@Runorsleep

“happy I’m not knee deep in nappies and sleepless nights and have to plan more ttc like all of my friends are!”

Your friends don’t HAVE to plan ttc conceive again. They obviously want to. Having more than one child is not mandatory

I grew my hair long at uni thinking I might not be able to grow it so long again when I was a proper adult 😂
It's nearly that long again and not for the first time!

My 40th birthday was under a strict level of lockdown so I went to play on the swings. I had to have some fun.

I've noticed since 35 that my back and neck are less forgiving of basic camping sleeping conditions than they were, but my knees are in better nick in my 40s than they were at 17. My evenings are spent doing the mum-taxi and I have no babysitting and it's been a long time since I had a regular nightlife, but I'm looking forwards a few years to when that ceases to be an issue. It's a few years since I've been clubbing but earplugs really enhance the experience. I want to go to an old nightclub of my youth and be one of the "crusty old rockers" that I scorned over half a lifetime ago 😂

I occasionally joke about being old because I generally act younger than I am and look younger too. I naturally gravitate towards younger people.

Jokes made all the time can be tedious (DH's humour is unchanged after 20+ years...) but the occasional daft quip is fine. There's nothing wrong with a quieter lifestyle, just don't be patronising about people who like a bit more action. The danger with prematurely claiming oldness is turning it into a self-fulfilling prophecy, brains and bodies need stimulation to maintain good health/ youth.

@LuckySantangelo35 this is totally coming from them , I have zero opinions on how many dcs anyone should have , they have been the ones discussing this and I am simply personally happy I’m at the stage I’m at. That is all….

@LuckySantangelo35 the modal verb “have to” came from my friends as all of them want more than one.

Are you kidding? 29?!?

I'm 42, have three little kids and a job and a house and pets and all that, and I'm not so knackered that I think just lying down for two weeks is appealing!

It's a mindset thing I think, now I'm in my 40s a lot of friends go on about feeling old, but in reality you could live for another 40 years if you're lucky - why spend it complaining?

If you are that exhausted at age 29 by being on holiday, I suggest you get yourself checked with the doctor. Thats not normal in your 20s - yikes.

I fear for them ..I am 55 and don't consider myself "old".
On the sofa tonight drinking tea and planning cocktails tomorrow night with likeminded "girls " who all work full time ,have adult children /teenagers !
We are happy to leave our DOH s dozing in front of the telly .

I think pp had it right when they said what your friends mean is they're knackered. I had kids in my 20s and felt old because I was exhausted. 10 years later I've got my energy back and would never say I'm old, even in jest, because it just wouldn't cross my mind. Your friends are probably tired and feel boring and left out and so they're claiming ownership of it by joking that they're old! (Not funny though)

Get to the doctor because a holiday in Orlando (presumably Disney) is exhausting?

🤔