To be annoyed my friends are old before their time!

[Springchicken03]

37F here, and this is something that’s really getting my goat lately.

A few of my friends (some in particular) are moaning that they’re ‘old’ - for example ‘couldn’t wait to get home for a cuppa by 8pm, I’m so old!’ Or ‘Mum on the school run is 26, I’m so old!’ Etc etc. It is every time we speak and it’s wearing me down.

AIBU to think that the only thing that makes you old is when you start droaning on about it?

People should do what they want with their evenings it’s not like I’m out clubbing or pubbing either but we are in our thirties for
goodness sake, not eighties!

Yeah I agree OP, hate people going on about being 'old' in their 30s, it's mad!

I think there’s such a pressure from social media to be doing fun and exciting things all the time and to be ‘out out’ that some people can feel a bit judged if they don’t want to do those things so add the ‘because I’m old’ at the end of what they did that weekend to make light of it before they can be called boring or whatever. It’s also a way of justifying yourself when you care what other people think of you and don’t have the confidence to own what you like/dislike.

My friends are the opposite. Nearly 50 and love goi g out sometimes all night long !

i annoy my friends because I refuse to get old 😂

i’m 67 and go to a couple of gigs a week, camp at festivals (own tent, put up by me, no ‘Glamping’). I hike 3 or 4 times a week, 7+ miles each time. Still have dark purple hair, live in jeans and black t shirts.

I know that I embarrass my friends and my DH who wish I would grow old gracefully …. and I know a lot of people think I’m a bit ‘eccentric’ (to put it kindly 😂).

I can’t understand anyone that would wish themselves ‘old’, old is horrible, sitting around waiting to die …… live ‘young’ until your body won’t do it anymore. I want my final thoughts to be ‘fuck me, that was fun!’ not ‘I had some nice early nights and a lot of tea’ 🙄😂

Agree with this. I do like a cuppa at home after day "drinking" (I don't drink but the people I go with do but I still dance and enjoy myself) but I don't feel that makes me old at all. It is a bore when people constantly say it, like they want you to react with "oh give over you're still so young" 🙄

sometimes people realise instead of FOMO it is actually JOMO ( the joy of missing out) I can stop pretending I like X and Y just because everyone else does and I am happy to miss out on it.
Maybe you went to concerts / beach holidays/ night clubbing because everyone did but you realise that actually you don't enjoy some of them so you stop and do what actually makes you happy instead of what the crowd think should make you happy, for me this penny dropped in my mid twenties and I stopped spending my hard earned cash on things i didn't really like to keep up with people who would judge me on these things,
I think the pandemic lockdown made more people realise they were spending time and money on things that didn't really give them much pleasure because it was expected, some people found out they genuinely really missed some things but didn't miss others for me I missed the physical company of my friends but it was the conversation not the venues so now I met them were conversation is the main thing so yes to meals out, picnics, walks in the park or beach and coffee visiting each others houses but no to clubbing, shopping as recreation and the cinema

I am 74 and am horrified that people in their 30s and 40s consider themselves to be old! You've barely lived half your life, hopefully!

My kids 30 and 40 somethings, call me old and think I'm already at death's door lol!

I get what you're saying, @Springchicken03
They're just saying that they're "so old" - bit like boring people trying to convince others how much fun/mad they are!
And as others have suggested, maybe fishing for rebuttals - "nooo, you're not old at all don't be silly!" - still boring.

Might be time to move on to different friends...

@AnybodyAnywhere you sound like a woman after my own heart. The older I get the more I realise how important it is to throw caution to the wind and enjoy life

For me personally it's a phase.
I was the ultimate party girl (I'm 33 for reference)
Have a teenage son that spends most weekends at his dads, so that when I went out pubbing/clubbing.
I've now had a baby...he's 9 months & I'm that 'old' person. Things I used to crave all week just don't appeal anymore.
I'm knackered all week, the rare time I get child free I don't want to socialise, put make up on etc. I just want pjs, bottle of wine & an early night uninterrupted lol

I'm the same OP. A friend of mine recently joked that she was middle age (she's 36 so a couple of years older than me but still...) and I just found it so depressing. Okay technically if you're unlucky mid-30s can be middle age but I'm sure most people consider 40-45+ middle aged and I still feel so young!

Amazing!

I love you!!!

This is how I aim to be. Where is it written in law that at a certain age we should retire quietly to crochet our sensible clothes under a blanket on a rocking chair whilst drinking milky tea? eff that. Life is short - I want to get every last piece of marrow out of life, noone looks back on their deathbed and says "well, I wish i'd lived my life in a more sensible, age appropriate manner, worried far more about others opinions of me, drunk more tea, and spent my last years apologising for my age....."

Are you annoyed by the word old?
I think they are just using different words to express themselves about where they are in life and kind of complainging its not where they want to be.

I am early 40s and sometimes use the world old for myself as apposed to young as I feel better not being labeled as young anymore. I dont like the pressure about being young as I have never enjoyed the things that are considered typical for young adults /like partying, pubs and clubs etc./

Omg I could've written this. My friend is 100 percent this. Last night she told me she'd dyed her hair blonde because she was having a midlife crisis.::.we're 34

Never been me ever...I get home and either have a wine and pop music on, see friends, go to restaurants and always have done even with kids. My babies have come with me to nice restaurants. Love movies and always like seeing bands. I grew up in an area where woman over the age of 25 were seen as ancient, grans in pop socks and nasty sandals. Not for me....so i happily live in a large city where age isnt a factor.....menopause is not on the table for discussion either 😂

Perhaps what they really mean is that they are tired or even exhausted. Anyway I agree that is an odd way to put it.

It is so depressing. At 36, I've only been an adult for the same amount of time I was a child. How is that old?! The life expectancy for UK women is about 83, I'm only 18 years into my adult life, and women my age think they are old? You can't even get a council flat as a single person with no kids under 35 because they deem you young enough to flatshare like a student. At 36 I'm only just starting to feel like a real grown-up tbh.

This is something I say - it is because I am noticing a sudden change in what I want to do.

Maybe - I think maybe I need a new set of friends, as we're just not on the same page on a lot of things anymore.

I have DC, work, DH, home to run - of course I'm tired sometimes but 'old'... I'm not even 40 yet! 😂

Yes, find new friends...they will drag you down! 37 is a great age for all kinds of fun things to do. Loads of my friends have got big into fitness, marathons and Crossfit at this age, and climbing too, which is really fun and sociable.

I don't like it either. I'm finding people more boring, lacklustre and more introverted. And constant complaints of tiredness are irritating. Well go to bed earlier then. I think it's competitive tiredness, similar to competitive busy'ness (which is easily resolved by just saying no - yet another thing so many seem incapable of doing).

I am almost 39, had my first child at 23. I have worked full time almost constantly with only short maternity leaves for each child.
I realise I am not old in comparison to someone who is say 80......however I feel fucking ancient, after 20 odd years of working like a donkey whilst raising children with no family help I'm just about fooked😂 I also have a medical condition that has the primary symptom of fatigue so that doesn't help!
Realistically my head knows I'm a long way from the nursing home but I wish it could tell my body.
Just be glad you're not one of us moaning 'oldies' and ignore any comments you don't like, they aren't aiming them at you.

I know what you mean OP and it annoys me too. I have a friend who does this, along with saying "oh I can't wear such and such, I'm a 40 year old mum". I just think eh?! Why are you so keen to put yourself in these silly little boxes?

I am about to turn 50. None of my friends talk like this but Insta is full of memes about 30s being old. It is highly irritating! It seems to be the new popular narrative and I just don't get it either