To be annoyed my friends are old before their time!

[Springchicken03]

37F here, and this is something that’s really getting my goat lately.

A few of my friends (some in particular) are moaning that they’re ‘old’ - for example ‘couldn’t wait to get home for a cuppa by 8pm, I’m so old!’ Or ‘Mum on the school run is 26, I’m so old!’ Etc etc. It is every time we speak and it’s wearing me down.

AIBU to think that the only thing that makes you old is when you start droaning on about it?

People should do what they want with their evenings it’s not like I’m out clubbing or pubbing either but we are in our thirties for
goodness sake, not eighties!

I’m 42 and I’d love a night out (I don’t know anyone where I live now, haven’t been out to a pub in 4 years).

Fuck being in with a cup of tea at 8pm, I want to live.

until they hit their 90's and get into competitive ageing 🤣.

So true. In my job I often get older people proudly saying "I'm 89, you know". And I'm looking at their data and thinking "You're not a day over 88, Malcolm".

It's a bit wanky, I have a friend who uses the word "adulting" if she's doing a job like painting the windowsills (we're 39...). But each to their own I suppose, I just smile and nod.

Wait till you get to your 50s. The moaning never stops and literally every convo is preceded by a long list of ailments. I am not a clubber or a pubber, but apparently even meeting in a cafe is too tiring.

I've got 4 kids, when I had the one it was a lot easier to go out and do stuff and I did go out every weekend, but now I honestly just don't have the money, the childcare or the energy. Hopefully it will change as they get older.

They're fishing for compliments. They're hoping someone will pipe up and tell them how young they are, blah blah blah.
Just ignore it.

There was a woman with this mentality on an 18 month course I was on some years ago. By God, those 18 months felt like 18 years.

She was not significantly older than anyone else on the course, and in fact was younger than some, but every topic of conversation somehow got turned round to her age (early 40s) and how she was too old for this and too old for that, and if only she was as young as the rest of us (who were only 5 years younger, in some cases). She was obsessed. It was tedious AF.

One of the cohorts from the course ended doing a PDGE at the age of 40, with 4 kids under 10. Mother Methuselah's comment on FB when she saw the news: "Oh, congratulations, Jane, if only I were your age again, I'd do it myself in a heart beat". 🙄 She was 3 years older than the one on the PDGE.

I agree with you, OP. It does get very wearing after a while and as for people saying "its a joke!"- its not exactly funny if its being said every single time you see them is it?!! would you tell the same knock knock joke every time you saw your friend and expect them to find it hilarious after the 6th time?

Its not said as a joke, its how they really feel which is fine, they are entitled to feel that but its such a negative, ridiculous thing to believe at age 37 FFS. I am a similar age and have friends who do this too and it makes me sad because its such a limiting belief and if they feel that now, how the fck are they going to feel when they are 50+, ready to book their funeral? Personally, I limit my time with negative people who dwell depressing stuff like this- they suck the life out of you and are often the types to tell you not to bother with anything because it will likely fail etc. Fade them out and spend time with people your age who are vibrant, exciting and positive- there are plenty out there I promise!

Ohhh I get you OP. It was my fortieth birthday and my friend text me and said "now you are old like me." I text back "nah mate I'm in my prime, no one old here."

I mean honestly I had had my 2nd Dc a few months previous and had managed to loose all my baby weight for my deadline of the big birthday. I was feeling pretty happy, don't need anyone telling me I'm old.

I do also enjoyed the other day when a school run mum said over 35 was too old to have kids. I just think it's all just opinions. I had both my Dc over age 35 and I'm fit and healthy.

I have one friend who I swear cannot go more than 3 sentences before mentioning her age. Its usually "now that I'm an old bird" but she can't talk about anyone else without making a big deal of their age either. Always the same comments, which given that only a few days have generally past since she last made them, do indicate something of an obsession about age!

My personal theory is that its because she used to do online dating, and many men on online dating are absolutely brutal about age, so its left her scarred.

Yikes I am 50 ( soon to be plus) and not ready to book my funeral.

Nor should you be- but if these people already feel "old" in their 30s, how the heck will they cope being 50?!!

Oh, god, @Springchicken03 I hear you! I’m in my fifties but to hear people i know going on like this, it’s just depressing.

I am going to age disgracefully and none of this pipe and slippers and an early night.

The day I realised that there was no reason not to put my pajamas on as soon as I got home from work was one of the happiest of my life 😁 I do consider myself a bit of an old soul though and like an early to bed, early to start lifestyle!

It's very tedious. And it's always women. I think it's women being very aware of their age and trying to come to terms getting older. They want to admit it themselves before anyone thinks it. They are kind of apologetic about it I think.

43 here. My friendship group activities have definitely changed over the last 5 years. We love a theatre night now or a meal out. Usually home by 11 and even then we are all knackered with no booze involved.
We love spa days and also book hotel rooms just to hide in for the weekend.
Once a year we do a butlins big weekend but reality of that is we book closest accommodation and are usually patting ourselves on the back if we make it past midnight ;0)
Learn to love it and embrace it.

So true, older people just accept that sometimes you wanna stay in, sometimes you want to go out.

Just in case someone accuses them of acting or pretending to be "too young" or something, I guess. Its so tedious.

My MIL is terrible for this, you'd think the grim reaper was following her around the way she goes on.
My biggest annoyance is that refuses to learn anything new, especially technology related because "she's too old to learn now".

... the woman is 56!

Yanbu it is wearing and at 37 you are no where near "old"

I'm surprised at these people drinking tea in the evening! One thing that I can't do anymore in my late 30s is drink caffeine after midday because it keeps me awake at night! 😁 They can't be that old then.. 😋

I think there's a lot of truth in that. Due to circumstances, I tend to socialise with much younger people, late 20s/30s, whereas I'm 53. I mostly act a lot younger, and go to 'age inappropriate' things. But not only do i feel the need to get it out there that i know im not young, so they don't think im deluded, but it's very handy to say 'well I am very old you know' when I don't recognise the music or haven't heard of one of the drinks! After this thread though I think I'm going to stop.

I had my kids in my early 20s, so always had a lot of responsibility from a young age. Now mine are teens, it's great and I feel like my outlook in life is getting younger, as in I was way more serious -and boring-- in my 20s compared to my 30s! Now I have far more freedom, I've got the hard slog of having little kids/primary school age kids out the way and I have time to go and do hobbies or extra at work if I want to without needing childcare.

I guess if you spent your youth out partying/holidays/carefree, then all of a sudden you have a couple of kids in your 30s, life would seem much "older."

No, I think there's a difference in saying it like you do, as in saying because you don't want your younger friends to think you're deluded if you don't recognise a song, to people in their 20s saying they are old because it almost makes them sound like they "playing house" by trying to convince people they are actually really really grown up 😁

Absolutely nothing wrong with that at all, just don’t tell me about your weekend and at the end of the very sentence add ‘because I’m old…’ 😂