To be annoyed my friends are old before their time!

[Springchicken03]

37F here, and this is something that’s really getting my goat lately.

A few of my friends (some in particular) are moaning that they’re ‘old’ - for example ‘couldn’t wait to get home for a cuppa by 8pm, I’m so old!’ Or ‘Mum on the school run is 26, I’m so old!’ Etc etc. It is every time we speak and it’s wearing me down.

AIBU to think that the only thing that makes you old is when you start droaning on about it?

People should do what they want with their evenings it’s not like I’m out clubbing or pubbing either but we are in our thirties for
goodness sake, not eighties!

yes, it does my nut in too!

How bizarre

It's just self deprecation. They know they're not really old. People who know they're old tend not to draw attention to it in this way 😂

When you are young (18-24) you have ,probably, got disposable income, lots of friends, boundless energy. You also accept sleeping in wet tents, crap service, sticky carpets, loud shouty arseholes in pubs,a weekend of peeing in a hedge because the toilets at some 'cool' event are disgusting. Perhaps as you get older you look at things with a wiser eye. You have more drain on your income, children, a proper job that actually requires effort. Festivals aren't all they're cracked up to be, meals out are expensive and you can't be bothered with poor service anymore . You aren't off your face all the time because you can't afford to 'rent' alcohol and then throw it up in a drain outside wetherspoons on the way home. If that's what they mean by old then it's no bad thing really. It's just life.

I think some of it is you don't always realise the passage of time, and then suddenly you are working with people who have birth dates that don't start with a 19 and you think it can't be possible as anyone born after the millennium is surely still a child...

@easylikeasundaymorning Nothing wrong about liking cosy nights in but I've noticed people as we get older can be quite derisive about others still enjoying nights out/pubs/festivals now we're in our late 30s and parents.

100%! The other reason this stuff winds me up is cos often they're saying it to be like 'I'm not like other girls'/I'm so special. 'Ooh get me preferring a cuppa to a night in a club' - nobody cares, you do you.

What your friends say does sounds rather silly and as an officially old person I raised an eyebrow. What's wrong with being old? It has to beat the alternative. Wait until they get the aches and pains which are associated with old age and they'll have something to moan about!

Yeah, I find it so irritating. It's almost insulting, like they're calling me old as well.

It's like they're so bored and miserable, they can't handle other people their age still actually enjoying life. I'm 36, not 80. Of course I love travelling on a whim, going on massive hikes, unexpected after-work pub sessions and going to gigs.

I've got some fairly serious health issues and don't take my mobility for granted and find it frankly obnoxious the way some women my age seem to revel in wishing their lives away.

It's just a self-deprecating thing, really. I'm in my 40s and my friends and I don't genuinely consider ourselves 'old' at all but we often joke about things like only wanting to go to the pub after work if we can definitely sit down. I was joking with a friend the other day that I knew I was old because not only are all footballers now miles younger than me, but so are a lot of the managers. I think you're being a wee bit over-sensitive about this.

I’m 35 so not old yet, I do go out on nights out and drink occasionally.
however I work in a pub and some of the women who come in and drink all the time look old because of the drink and late nights.
there comes a time in everyone’s life where you have to start taking it a bit easier.
maybe these women have more children then You, more on their plate etc.

I'm sure these people are just trying to be humorous, but failing. It does sound like the kind of thing that gets boring to hear pretty quickly. If you otherwise enjoy being with these people I'd suggest either ignoring it or challenging it ("What makes you think that being home by 8pm makes you old?").

For what it's worth, me and my friends are all in our late 40s/early 50s. Maybe we are more mature than your friends, but we seem to be a lot more accepting of other people's preferences without it being because someone is old or young!

I sort of know what you mean. Roughly the same age as you and I do have friends who say things like they need to be in bed by 9 now and they don't necessarily have kids! Or that their favourite place to be is in bed with a cup of tea. I do sometimes wonder if it's like a trend.

Don't get me wrong, I used to love clubbing in my late teens/20's and now the thought fills me with dread. Why would I want to queue for an hour on a sticky floor for a drink, not be able to hear anyone because the music is so loud and have nowhere to sit? 😬 I don't consider myself "old" for not wanting to do that anymore. Just sane.

I agree OP, its very tiresome to hear. And it seems to affect mainly women. Sometimes I just want to stop hearing an apology about their age or every sentence pre-faced by something about their age! Its basically apologising for still being alive. Imagine being 80 and looking back at when you were 40 or whatever and realising you spend all those years moaning about how old you were.

Is it also a British thing? I used to live abroad, and I never heard people so obsessed about their age there. Maybe a relic of the industrial revolution, where people did indeed age very quickly?

OP I'm going to take a guess you're single and OLD?

Your friends saying they're old is wearing you down because you want to get out and mingle!

Personally, I'd rather be in my bed than at a pub but that's because I've got DC and work and forever knackered.

until they hit their 90's and get into competitive ageing 🤣.

But yes, I'm nearer 70 than 60 and find myself saying "she died? but she was only 74, that's no age" 🤷🏼‍♀️

just get new friends! haha

I hate this too!! my husbands mid 40s and im mid 30s, we are off to Glastonbury in a few weeks (leaving our baby with my mum wooo)

We were just out at a club night last weekend too

don't get me wrong i love getting in from work and getting straight in my pjs and having a cup of tea too sometimes! but i certainly don't feel old or think i'm old!

my friendship group is the same as us - i ditched other boring friends long ago haha

I will answer your question, OP, after my nap.

The main culprit has no children and I have nearly 4! As I say, it's not in what they want to do, and I'm not pubbing and clubbing either, it's just the constant commenting on it. I think other posters have made me realise it's because they're bloody misery guts with it actually.

Totally agree!

Nope, happily married with DC4 on the way 🥰

I think it is a British thing. I'm half Spanish and go to Spain quite lot and at 36 am considered practically a child there! There are plenty of women my age still living at home with their parents and my friends there are only starting to have babies at 38 or 39, if they do it at all. I'm still referred to as a 'chica' or a 'joven' (young adult). It's honestly mystifying to me why people want to be old before their time.

If they’re late 30’s they probably have teenagers which is enough to make anyone feel old. Teenagers make me feel old and I’m 27

We did a quiz the other day music through the decades of queens reign, neither of us could name the eighties music very well that was the decade we had two children. In fact we could hardly recall the decade at all. We were poor, sleep deprived and rushed off our feet. It's a phase, things did pick up when we were in our forties

I don't think it's an age thing. It's what happens when you have kids. As much as I love my kids, my life revolves around them and they drain me so I'm often not up for socialising a lot.

@Furrbabymama87 hmm my daughter keeps me busy and yes it's draining and all about her - BUT i make sure to take a lot of time back for myself - a go out about twice a month on a night out with friends, gym a few evenings a week and things like getting my nails done, i love to get out - i would much rather not waste my free time in bed or relaxing tbh - going out and living my life is a better use of my time I feel!