disappointed in sons decision

[Twins3007]

My son is now 21 and still lives at home, since leaving school he has been training and just passed certain exams so he practice in his own right. He could have a potential of earning quite a good living if he put his mind to it . He was quite happy in the role then covid hit and he has been wfh since as they shut the office and now only go in once a week even then most don't turn up or go home early. This way of working has certainly changed all dynamics of the job as he has had no mentor and no one to show him how to interact with clients , he is home alone and has no motivation what so ever. All social aspect of the job has gone since wfh , which is such a shame as this did give him confidence and getting to know colleagues.
He has now decided this line of work is not for him and wants some sort of a trade, to re train and do some kind of manual work, I am distraught and have tried to dissuade him but he is adamant, because he still lives at home this is possible, he has been used to living on a low wage while training .

He feels he has wasted 5 years of his life, all his friends have got on and all have trades and earning a respectable wage and he feels he has been left behind.

I worry that he may regret his decision and have told him so but he will not listen, although it is soul destroying to see how lonely he is wfh and lost all motivation, what do I do try to persuade him to stick it out or encourage him to find a new role in life ?

I just had similar news broken by my son yesterday and my daughter a few months ago. I am sadden but my children’s well-being is paramount.
everything happens for a reason and it’s never the end of the world.
you can have your opinion but we must let them
make their own decisions x

Most CEOs take the CFO route through corporate life and end up at the top of the tree. So I can understand if you were anticipating that path for your child and it’s not going to be the case that yes she would be a bit disappointed.

equally as everyone mumsnet will tell you you don’t get a say in your kids lives at all, you just have to smile and not smile and nod.

oh and fund it all so just be grateful that you havent had to coughed up for three years of university.

Do what makes you happy. Your son, everyone. It's a long 50 years otherwise

There are plenty of very wealthy trades. My business can at times generate upwards of £600 per hr.
One thing I would say is, that trades are a young person's game.

Nobody has disputed that tradespeople can earn well, but it’s still ludicrous to suggest that anyone entering a trade can “write their own pay cheque”, for the reasons already explained.

I would let him make his own choices. When I was 17 I trained in a field that I believed I wanted to do but I hated it pretty much straight away. I was encouraged to stay. All it done was waste my time and I spent thousands on student loans. I wish I had not of listened to the people who kept telling me to stick it out. I have never worked, nor will I ever work in the field I trained in. I went on to retrain in a completely different field aged 26. I loved it and 10 years later I am in a career and still love what I do. Let him make his own choices and/or mistakes because only he knows how truly miserable he is right now and only he truly knows what is right for him.

Learning a trade is far more sensible than sitting on his arse doing nothing all day. That nothingy job will be first on the chopping block and he won't get rehired with his zero skills.

Sensible parents appreciate the high pay a trade can bring. Snobs don't.

I don't either. Encourage him, stop being weird about it.

Your post is what many of us have discussed at my workplace - the impact of hybrid working on the different working generations.

I am working parent with 20 years work experience so it's perfect for me.

In my 20s I enjoyed being in the office with the whole culture that went with it and having senior role models to work with.

Something to consider - not all work places are as home based as this. I am in an accounting job in industry and we are in 3 days a week and our social stuff is now restarting too.

So this company might not be for him but there will be others that might be

I would be supportive of him, at least he’s doing something. I wish my DM had been more supportive of my choices instead of forcing hers on me. He’s still young, let him try different things, I think at that age they are still trying to find where they fit in.

Did you not read my post I have two sons both electricians that are doing well for themselves and also had apprenticeship for 4 years I would be just as upset if they’d turned round and said they disliked their job after putting such hard work in
this post has nothing to do with job titles Manuel or academic it’s whether he makes the wrong decision and regrets he’s choice , it’s just nice to get other peoples look on things and if been through similer experiences

Sorry but I just don’t know how to reply to certain comments further back in post as new to mumsnet , dint want to seem rude as most people been so understanding with good advice but a couple of posts insinuating I’m a snob who doesn’t want my son in a trade , read my posts before jumping on hate machine!

Sounds brilliant to me.

The wealthiest people I know are all trades. I know plenty who earn more in the city but that also comes with a corporate lifestyle price tag so the net at the end is less than the tradies who don’t have to drive a flash car, wine and dine clients or replace their shoes every time they get a scuff.

So from a financial point of view I think very positive.

From a career point of view his training has made him very well equipped to not just learn a trade but run his own business and understand all the financials and accounts side.

He could do a number of his tradie friends accounts too. Double whammy.

It’s these well rounded people who are the most successful tradies and business owners. Those that changed profession because they wanted to - not because they needed too.

It’s only wasted years of training if he fails to build on it.

My ds is 20 and his last day of school was the day before lockdown. He spent that summer arsing around, as he thought h3 wanted to go to Art school (like his older sister) and had a place on a portfolio development course.

That was no use as no studio time, no resources with it being done at home. He dropped out (me getting worried now!) and got a job as a home carer, visiting elderly people at home to help with washing and dressing, medication and food. He loved it, and as such, applied for nursing. He starts in September at his first choice Uni and though it's in our city he's moving out into halls. I'm so proud of his decisions.

It can take dc (and I think especially boys) a wee while to find their niche sometimes. Your ds has tried things and knows they're not for him. But he's looking elsewhere and that's good. He hasn't wasted anyones time, he's just taken a while to decide what to do. Heck, I'm changing careers right now and I'm 51! Never too late!