to ask why people bother with wedding seating plans?

[AnnHedonia]

Not being snidey about those who choose to do so, btw - I just genuinely have never understood the necessity. At my own wedding we let guests sit wherever they wanted (aside from the top table, which we did the traditional way) and it felt so much easier than trying to plan it all out.

A relative is currently wrangling with the seating plan for her own wedding - mustn't put this person next to that person as they don't get along, etc - and it got me wondering why people bother.

Am I missing something? (Not trying to say either way is right or wrong, btw, just saying DH and I found it easier to not have one.)

Ds1 got married this year, and they had a seating plan - the venue knew ahead of time what everyone had chosen for their meal, and each table’s meals came out and were put down in a beautifully coordinated way - no need for the wait staff to stand and ask “who’s having the pate?” I assume the same applies to most receptions with formal meals, @AnnHedonia.

When dh and I got married, we had a buffet reception, like you, and didn’t do a seating plan.

It meant we could ensure people were sat with others they would have a good time with rather than a first come first served basis where invariably people end up being left out. It was also good for catering as the venue knew who had what meals on which tables.

Well it might be that your group's naturally fit into groups of 10 or so which match the table sizes.

But it's also fairly easy to imagine with different groupings, people may have been split up from their family units.

I think it's a rare wedding party where each and every natural group has ten people in it, and they move into the room together so no group accidentally nabs two tables.

It's part of considerate hosting.

they seemed to enjoy as much as we did. That was what worked for us, our guests and the general vibe of the day, but I don't (to address another pp's point) consider it a 'better' way, just the way we chose.

Yeah and if the couple who didn't bother with a seat plan asked me if I enjoyed it, I'd tell them I did. It's too late for them to do anything about it so I don't want to drag them down. In reality, it was crap and I was annoyed they couldn't be bothered because like I said earlier, it felt like being in a packed all-Inclusive with everyone trying to grab a seat wherever they could.

Or perhaps it genuinely worked in our case, and didn't work in the case of the wedding you describe?

If someone asked after the event did you enjoy it the polite answer is "Oh yes we had a wonderful day" pointless pointing out the fault that it was a free for all, not fast your last and your family ended up getting split up.

We didn’t. We didn’t have a top table either.

I like a seating plan for round tables and plated meals. No plan is better if it’s a buffet as you can end up sitting on your own for ages while people are still getting food.

I know it’s a MN sin but I really like being on a table with some people I don’t know- you end up having some reap interesting conversations whereas if you’re with the friends you see all the time you end up talking about same old same old.

I've been to a few weddings on my own, sometimes not really knowing anyone - I'd have hated having to try to decide where to sit.

Oh. The "People can just sit where they want" idea never works unless you have masses more seating than people. Come in the last third of the queue and people all had to be marshalled to budge up. Then when seated someone who would have been on the top table wanted to sit with cousins they hadn't yet seen and we all had to shift around again. Deeply irritating, made worse with people with mobility issues.

Or perhaps it genuinely worked in our case, and didn't work in the case of the wedding you describe?

Perhaps, but you'll never really know. Nobody is going to rain on your parade.

f someone asked after the event did you enjoy it the polite answer is "Oh yes we had a wonderful day" pointless pointing out the fault

I think this EVERY time I see on a wedding thread "Everyone loved our wedding" - like anyone is going to say "It was really poor, actually"

There should definitely be a seating plan imo. The last wedding I went to there was 10 tables of 8 seats, me and my oh were the last to arrive and got split up. My oh ended up sat with 3 sets of elderly grandparents and a couple of old aunts that he didn’t know. I ended up on a table with 6 small children who belonged to people who were sat on the top table, plus the step father of the bride who was extremely upset that he hadn’t been sat at the top table and bitched about it non stop. This wedding cost me a couple grand to attend as well :/

I think it's possible to gauge the mood in the room, though, especially when many of the people in it are people you know well. I also think it's possible to tell whether people are genuinely relaxed and having a good time or gritting their teeth and fake-smiling their way through the day.

We didn't have a seating plan or even a top table. I did meet a friend of mine at a wedding though from being sat together

I had tables of friends or people who had things in common, but they could sit anywhere on that table.

I hate having to sit with strangers when I know people at a wedding, but I’m not allowed to sit with them.