to have had a go at my PIL about a present for our DS from a BIL and SIL we don’t speak to

[Ezzy]

This is a bit of a long one but last year my BIL was getting married 4 months after us. We only invited 7 people to our wedding but PIL stuck their noses in trying to get us to invite DHs Auntie. We stood our ground and said we were having our wedding our way.

Anyway, a few months before BILs wedding they contacted us to say that whilst our DS was welcome to the wedding, they would rather he wasn?t there in the ceremony and could we discuss something (like them arranging a childminder) just for those 30 mins. I, personally believe that our DS should have been sat right at the front during our wedding ? yes, he babbled all the way through ours but that was cute and he wasn?t disruptive.

Anyway, I refused to discuss the wedding with them and just sent a regret card saying the 3 of us would not be going. They sent a short email thanking us for the regret card and that was that. A few days later I was quite drunk and sent an email to BIL and now wife (although pretended it was from my DH it was actually from me) explaining how horrible and selfish they were. When BIL now wife asked me not to contact her again I sent her a few more emails telling her how rude, selfish and pathetic she was, and how their wedding was a complete joke anyway.

To cut a long story short ? we have not spoken to them since. They sent DS some clothes this summer for his birthday, which he wore. However, at xmas they sent another present for him which my PIL gave him. I am outraged that they have passed on this present from these people when they excluded our DS from their wedding. DH had a go at PIL and they told him to grow up. I cannot understand why they can?t see how interfering and hurtful they?ve been.

yabvu

Their wedding their choice, just as you felt it was your choice for your wedding.

Sounds as though they are trying to reconcile by offering prsents to your ds.

Your wedding - your way. Their wedding - your way? I don't think so.

Were they at your wedding? If so, maybe they didn't find his babble as charming as you did. A lot of couples wouldn't.

Then you bombarded them with abusive emails? Seems to me that you are damn lucky they are mature enough not to hold your behaviour against your ds.

I think you owe all your inlaws an apology.

pffffffffffffffffffffftttttttttttt!

there, now, nothing to see here....

This has got to be a wind up? [Nervous laughter emoticon]

Hello again,

Sorry you thought I was a troll. I honestly am not, am a mumsnet member but didn't want to use my ID for this post. Yes, projecticarus, you are right - I am the sister in law of the woman who did this and not the woman in question.

I'm sorry if it seems a little bit deceptive to post it this way, but I have told it so many times from my point of view I do sometimes wonder if there is any true grounds for her behaviour. Everything I have written is sadly true, and my PIL are currently being ostracised by this woman for our "transgression" in sending a xmas gift.

Thanks for all your responses.

You have behaved horribly

drunken emails you have pretended have come from someone else

They have behaved impeccably

glad you are the nice person

poor you, commiserations on your awful family

I really hope this is true!!!!

I want to write a screenplay based on it, it sounds awesome!!

Think single white female meets You've got mail

Oh damn. Now I feel mean.

She's crackers, try not to let it bother you.

Don't feel mean, your post made me laugh

the woman clearly is a nutjob.

frankly i would just cut your losses and hope your bil comes to his senses.

Ezzy just try to let it go

you obviously can't win with these people - no point trying - you don't need their liking or approval

Thanks, I think I will. I know you have to make an effort with family, but sometimes it's just not possible. I think this is just one of those situations where you have to say it's ok to not get along and move on...

Troll.

Nuff said.

you are in the right

but wasting your thoughts/breath/energy on these people, sending you abusive and nasty emails...

fill your life with good people and not those who drain you x

YOU are outraged? You sent them abusive emails & YOU are outraged?

Just becuase YOUR son was at YOUR wedding, does NOT give you the right to expect that he attend ALL weddings.

I am not surprised that your PIL told your dh to grow up. You have acted childishly, imo.

I would be grateful that the very people YOU abused even bothered to send your ds a pressie, they didn't have to at all. Seems that they are making sure your son doesn't suffer for your mistakes.

Troll methinks

However, in case not:

What a delightful DIL/SIL you are. Firstly, it is their decision to ask you not to have your DS at their wedding (babbling through your ceremony may have been cute but for their ceremony not so). I had a 'no children' policy for my wedding and no one had a problem.

You sound like a bitch TBH and I certainly wouldn't be bothering with you in any way shape or form actually.

Your poor DS and DH are missing out though eh?

Sorry dude - just read whole thread. I am my comments at your SIL instead

Sorry again for coming across as a possible troll - honestly wasn't intending to.

Ezzy you are patience personified!

Is it possible that someone in your family is secretly stirring up your SIL or there is some other aspect to this stuff between you and your in laws that you are not aware of? The only justificatin I can see for your SIL behaving so atrociously is that there is something else going on here that you don't know about.

I know Lulu....I just read the rest if it...

Op sounds wel rid of her!