Would it be such a bad thing to set your children up financially so that they never have to work?

[wonderingWallaby]

Let’s assume from the age of 21 you provide them with a monthly/annual allowance of x amount (a substantial figure), and they will receive this for the remainder of their life. Obviously I wouldn’t be happy if they spent all day sleeping, playing video games etc. But if the money allowed them to avoid the rat race that is work, maybe that’s not such a bad thing? I know there are a lot of positives to working, but my thought process is that life is short. And if you’re in a position where you don’t have to work or you can ensure your children don’t have to work, is that really such a bad thing?

Sounds great, did you choose finance as a career path or did you fall into it?
Sorry for grilling you 😂but I’m always interested to hear why people love their jobs and how they found that out. I love my job, but I’ve had plenty I didn’t like, and I also wouldn’t struggle with being wealthy and not working for pay either

My sister and her husband work sporadically on short term contracts. High pay, but no permanent jobs. They have voids in work, and where they can, they plan these to coincide with their kids needing them.

My niece is like me. An academic high achiever who loves the outdoors and caring for animals. I was pushed into employment by academic achievements and social norms and I HATED it. It ruined my health and my body for years.

I'm so glad that my sister is supporting my niece in a lifestyle that suits her. Part of that is giving her money, support and teaching her financial skills that will enable her to do work that doesn't feel like work to her.

I want to do the same for my kids. Help them see money as a need, not a master, and live to enjoy life.

I would never just give my adult child money. I have an educational trust set up to help pay for university. If I find myself with the means, I would
do the same with housing, set up education funds for grandchildren, pay into a pension fund, or even set up an earnings matching scheme. Basically there would always be strings and high expectations.

I don't think enough can be said for the sense of achievement that comes from striving for something you want.
The reward is the knowledge that you have the drive to work for what you want, and this is fundamental to the inherent development for young people.

I would never deprive my kids of developing this part of their personalities.

That being said, I'd not be adverse to keeping a property for the kids as a relative security for the future, as well as a trust fund for education or personal development.

A friend's partner (now husband) received £10,000 a month, plus travel and car allowances from the age of 18 until his trust fund kicked in at age 35. He did fuck all with his life, dropping out of uni, smoking weed, playing video games, 24/7. For 17 years.

He's now the most boring 40-something on the planet, with no hobbies or interests or the ability to relate to most other adults.

His parents were insanely ambitious and hard-working, but by giving him everything, they really cheated him out of being able to appreciate anything.

Graduate training scheme 20 years ago.
no particular desire to get in to this industry
i went for it as meant move to London, got offered it and the rest is history

I love that my children (single parent) see work as a good thing because they see me challenged and positive about it

I have changed name to contribute honestly and then I'll change back! We would be in a position to do something like this for our kids. We wouldn't give them an allowance through life though, as this would definitely be bad for their mental health and futures. But we will probably buy them all a house outright when the time comes. At sill also pay for uni so they don't have to be paying back loans etc.

Our kids are all very different. The eldest is going to Oxford and we don't need to worry about his work ethic because he can't do 'nothing' (he's like his dad) and he is extremely hard-working and focused. He's not interested in 'stuff' either. We won't be giving him an allowance, but my husband will maybe get him securely on the property ladder (London) and also an investment portfolio. I'm not exactly sure how much, but it could be a few million each. Most importantly, he has the self-confidence and resilience to make his own way.

One of our others is less likely to be a high earner as some mild SEN, less confidence and not particularly academic. We will help this one with a house, but this DC will need support to not be taken advantage of and how to invest / budget wisely. But this DC will definitely be working - just probably not in a job that would buy a similar kind of property in London.

Thr younger one is very bright and confident in her abilities, very socially switched-on and makes positive relationships easily (always has) and I don't doubt she'll have a great career. BUT I'm not sure she understands the value of money as much as the eldest does, instinctively, so we'll have to watch her there.

I worked in the public sector until age 31 when I had DC and I've not worked since. There are pros and cons to this - but also, life isn't set in stone and you adapt over time. If I'd kept working, yes, I would have had that identity and the fulfilment of a job (if it was something I enjoyed). But I don't know if I have been 'happier' as such and there is a lot I've done in my life that I couldn't have experienced if I was working. Unless you've lived two parallel lives - how can you tell? So no point worrying about it really.

I'm now at a point when I could volunteer or something and I'm looking into this, but, to be perfectly honest, the 'push' isn't there to earn money because it wouldn't make much difference. The 'cost / benefit analysis of someone working totally depends on context. In a different marriage, I almost certainly would have been working all these years. Maybe I'd be better for it, but also maybe not. I have no idea. On the one hand I feel the financial privilege my husband has provided has meant I've not pushed myself or used my degrees. In the other hand, I feel as if I've had a lot of freedom and generally have been incredibly lucky. I take nothing for granted though, as I grew up basically hand to mouth (not in U.K.). This has not been the case for our kids who have had private educations and every opportunity really. The eldest knows this and he says it is what drives him to make it count. The younger ones, I'm not so sure. Time will tell, I guess. But no, we are certainly not just going to give them money to squander.

Terrible idea!
human beings need some sort of purpose in life, if everything gets given to you, there is nothing to strive for or to work towards, I think that leads to depression.
Different story if a person has worked towards their goals and then want to relax.
a young person will do nothing with their life!

I know someone in my immediate family who has exactly this. I’m talking mid-20s, never worked a day in their life, no qualifications (failed all GCSE’s and never did any further education as was told they’d be fully provided for). They have their rent, car (brand new every 3 years), fuel, household bills and all other expenses (hobbies, food, holidays, cleaner) paid for. They are unfortunately very arrogant and have no desire to ever work or help others. They do not volunteer, or use their freedom to help their family or local community. If they want more money, they just ask and it’s given. However, their older sibling has never had a single penny given to them, as the parents could only (just about) afford to fund one child and did just that. Luckily, said older sibling has been able to create a very successful career but it doesn’t detract from the fact that the situation is very strange.

If anyone is considering it, make sure that your children are not relying on this happening without any fall back. Also, make sure you can afford it for all your children equally.

And I know a lot of people who are stuck in miserable jobs and who absolutely dread going to work each day. There are many more for whom work causes huge amount of stress and anxiety.

We're not all the same and not everyone is cut out for work.

Our two have a property each for when they’re grown. They’re both near a university too so the condition will be they do a degree and they can live rent free. We will also have savings for them which they can have when they’re properly matured adults. For putting towards buying a house, travelling, having kids etc.

I guess if you were in a position to be able to do this / know you would be able to do this while your children were young, I'd want to bring them up with a strong service ethic - to be giving back something to the community in some way, using whatever skills they had or could develop. And then hope that that would help produce rounded fulfilled adults.

I know what I'd do with a million or two - set up a subsidised music school, with rooms that teachers could use to give lessons, and a larger concert space. I've even eyed up a property locally that might be adaptable ... I'd need to employ an administrator I think. Only a dream ....

Not everyone is cut out for every kind of job I would agree but I think most people can do something it’s often just a case of supporting them to find what that thing is. I did psychometric testing years ago and the long and the short of it was I cannot carry out repetitive tasks, literally my brain does not function that way and I cannot do it whereas I know all the people who have jobs in warehouses etc I can think of one of the top of my head but it’s to outting if I do but it’s just a simple repetitive task that’s done very well day in day out and they enjoy it got a great deal of satisfaction from it and quite a decent living too.

There’s a Lid for every pot.

I think it is a bad thing. A good work ethic is important and helps to create a well rounded person. Work isn’t just to earn money, it’s about contributing, learning to get along with others and putting a structure around one’s life.

I know someone very wealthy whose children, mid-20s have never worked and they’re not well rounded individuals. There’s nothing interesting about them, they’re lazy, work shy and unpopular. I’m all for supporting one’s children as much as possible but even if I was mega wealthy I would teach and expect a healthy attitude towards work.

Trouble is if you are loaded and don’t give your kids a share you are being a bit of a twat really. They know you have it but are withholding it. It’s a different dynamic to actually growing up with nothing that make them work hard.

My DH is well off and will inherit a good chunk ( not trust fund amounts). But I can see the difference having a “back up” can make to raising kids and to work. DH has a great job he loves and was prepared to work a shit job in lock down ( which everyone said what a marvellous work ethic he had).. But the truth is he really wasn’t up for the shit job for longer than necessary. Money gives him choices and that family money counts.

There’s different types of repetitive tasks, I walked out of my bar job because ai literally couldn’t stand the pointlessness of pouring pints to drunk people and then washing hundreds of glasses, hosing down and repeating every night. Cleaning was the same Whereas I had a very dull job in a processing plant where you could banter with people all shift and work fast and it was fine.

What do rich kids do though? Their parents have the best well paid interesting work with some of the most well paid interesting people. 90% of jobs are shit that people do because they need money. You can’t blame them for not working for the council.

@Intrigueddotcom

Quite the contradiction eh?

But many jobs pay so little that people can't afford to work in them AND support themselves or their family without help. So if your skill set lies in a poorly paid career, then there would be a benefit to your parent being able to help you out.

No. I'd never ever consider that. I like the fact that, like me, my children are hard workers and reliable employees. I think a life without work must be very boring and without purpose. I'd also hate to depend on my parents for money, I like to be independent. I found the short time that I had as a sahm very dull.

Yes but people are always banging on about “ know your worth”.
if all you know are great jobs that pay travel, expenses and over the odds for trivial things it’s impossible to do a shit job for shit money. Rich kids know money is out there,
I’m delighted if an INSET day means lunch is provided.. My husband gets £50 a day for food of which he pockets because there is free crew catering. That’s almost a TA daily wage.

I think a life without work must be very boring and without purpose.

For me, the purpose of work is to pay my bills. I actually like my job, but I would give it up in a heartbeat it if I won the lottery!

I think there’s a huge difference between giving your child so much that they never had to work, and giving them enough to give them freedom and choices and possibly the ability to work part time.

I don’t think never having to work is good for anyone, whatever the reason for it and whatever part of society you are part of.

I would love to be able to help my kids buy a flat or house. But I wouldn’t want to create a situation where they could live their whole life without working.

I think it would be morally very wrong indeed to use the money you have to 'protect' dc from the world of work.

It would be disempowering beyond belief.

Why ignore all the children growing up in poverty who desperately need money and who could be helped instead? Who knows what could be achieved.

It varies according to the "child" obviously but, on the whole, I think it creates more problems than it solves.

We don't have that kind of money but have helped a bit with weddings, buying homes, etc and hope to do more in time as it has always been appreciated and all of our DCs work and are doing well. If we had more I suspect DH would want to set up trusts to pay out on discretion rather than give it all.

Close friends of ours though always had an ambition to give each child a fully paid home and that has not been as positive. DC1 was given a 2 bed flat in London Zone 2, DC2 got a 3 bed detached house in another town and DC3 has a flat in a different zone 2 area. Two of them have not achieved much workwise despite being bright as the extra disposable income has reduced their ambition/need to work and, sadly, increased their social drug use which has caused other problems but the third has used it well, renting the property out and using the money to fund themselves to get into their chosen career

But working as a rich kid is not working as a poor kid. They know parents have money to bail them but equally have only known wealth. Even if Victoria Beckham told her kids to work why would they work as a waiter or shelf stacker like ours?
They have every connection going. They an pick what work they want . The reality is they become a model, voice actress, designer.. It’s really well paid and nothing like an actual job.