Would it be such a bad thing to set your children up financially so that they never have to work?

[wonderingWallaby]

Let’s assume from the age of 21 you provide them with a monthly/annual allowance of x amount (a substantial figure), and they will receive this for the remainder of their life. Obviously I wouldn’t be happy if they spent all day sleeping, playing video games etc. But if the money allowed them to avoid the rat race that is work, maybe that’s not such a bad thing? I know there are a lot of positives to working, but my thought process is that life is short. And if you’re in a position where you don’t have to work or you can ensure your children don’t have to work, is that really such a bad thing?

@Louise0701 - I think it’s lovely all the work you do, and I think there is lots of unpaid work that is worthwhile.

however there are some people who, if they could, would not engage in useful things, but things that are useless or harmful. I feel that having an experience (not necessarily all their lives, but at least 10years or so) of working hard and economising would help my kids gain skills for survival if they were to need it in the future.

I don't think it's a great idea. They may become lazy peter pan types with no ooomph or interest or vacuous trust fund types. Lovely that you have the money to support them but I wouldn't let them know that until they have started making their way in life. It can also have an effect on their potential partner and finding that partner

It's the case in every situation. Somewhere along the value chain there will be exploitation, that's how capitalism creates the value. While there's some good work going on with regards to creating fair and equitable value chains and investments it's a long way off from being the status quo.

I have no idea what your husband does but I can guarantee there will be exploitation either in his business or it's supply chain and it will 100% be present in any investments.

It’s not about whether they deserve to or not though, it’s about whether they have the resources available to them to choose to do that. Some people have those resources, and while it may not be ‘fair’, it is life.

I consider myself lucky enough to be in a position where I’m financially comfortable enough that I could choose not to work now. As it happens, I do work part time doing my own passion projects because I enjoy it (so I do understand that work doesn’t have to be a rat race). I don’t however think that someone choosing not to do what I means that they’re unhappy, without purpose (whatever that actually is), wasting their lives etc. Its arrogant for anyone to think there’s only one right way to do life.

Plenty of people who work have alcohol addictions. Look at the amount of people on here who drink to cope with the stresses of day to day life.

This sounds like something off 90 Day Fiancé where the groom to be's mum asked her soon to be dil what she would be doing for work )and to contribute towards the household) and was told "I don't work and I don't plan to. Work doesn't suit me"

Spat my brew clean across the room.

Well, it’s not really what I meant. I am by no means a workaholic now either. I work 4 days a week as it is, but if all days were just wide open I would struggle to fill them with things to so since my kids are old enough to do their thing, my friends are working, my family members are working etc. I would get incredibly bored if I didn’t have the structure of working, and I wouldn’t be able to enjoy my free time if every day was just that.

@Louise0701

i agree with @Snoken

i think life is about balance

and you really appreciate not being at work when you do work

im in a similar position in that all my mates work too, so in reality not working would probably lead me to being pretty lonely and bored.

Your weekly itinerary of running a few groups and making a few phone calls can’t add up to even 2 full time work days so you must still have a lot of time to fill. I think I would find that quite hard

Not sure about this. Otherwise none of the difficult jobs would be done by anyone unless they absolutely had no choice but to do them to survive. I had way easier options available to me for work and coming from a background where we didn't have tons of cash flying around my expectations were very modest. Why did I choose to go to uni and slog my guts out, working 3 jobs to save to go and then working during, and then go after a profession where I was unlikely to succeed and then continue slogging my guts out working stupid hours non compatible with family life to climb the ladder once I did get in? I think some people just like working, competition and ambition.

I think my parents got it right. They set us up to get through uni with minimal fees so we got into professional careers on high incomes. They helped with house deposits but not straight away, waited until we were at a good time to buy a house and settle down. They taught us to budget and understand pensions and debt and so on.
They could have given us loads of money if they'd wanted to but they like cruising too much.

No. But I’d set them up in whatever they wanted to pursue. And when they came to have children I’d like them to have the option of being at home with them for years as nursery etc is not ideal in any way. I see wealthy families on social media etc who just go round the world in their sailing boat etc for a year with their little ones, or road trip around the US in a big RV. Who wouldn’t want their adult children to be able to live their passions and really focus on their own children, giving them fantastic experiences. But 21 no way, it’s a terrible idea. Let them
work hard first on their chosen career path, will give them a much better character in the long run.

Mine have a house that they all have keys to that’s not in the most desirable part of the world but they would always have a roof over their heads so they all know that at any point if they need it they can go and live there.

i’m not sure I would ever handover the actual physical cash. I can see how that could be taken advantage of by outsiders

I think a lot of people are attached to the idea that the universe owes us fairness. You can’t be privileged AND happy AND well rounded because that isn’t fair, to balance out privilege you have to be fucked up and/or miserable.

Depends on the kids.
Dd1 would see it as a financial backdrop so she didn't need to worry if things went wrong. So it would help her. She'd still get stuff done, but wouldn't have to worry about if things fell apart, so she'd be far more relaxed.
DD2 and ds, not sure. I think they'd both see it as a way to drift along trying out things and not quite get round to anything.

You have a shitty view of work op

i love my job, I get SO much from it

i don’t want to deny my children that possibility

I would suggest that you don’t indicate to your children that you view all paid work as “the rat race” and unfulfilling in its own right. Very demotivating

I think its really important to have financial independence.

Not to rely on family, husbands, state

I wouldnt want to bring my kids up to think they could rely entirely on sonekbe else.

Work also has value. I never really understand people who don't see the value in working. (And no volunteering one a month at your kids school doesn't count)

They always (weirdly) slag people who do value work by saying ewww how boring. Imagine enjoying working. How miserable your life must be.

I always think they must be either incredibly sheltered or a bit dim if they can't figure out that most people manage to work and have hobbies and a social life. And spend time with kids and family.

They always (weirdly) slag people who do value work by saying ewww how boring. Imagine enjoying working. How miserable your life must be.

I always think they must be either incredibly sheltered or a bit dim if they can't figure out that most people manage to work and have hobbies and a social life. And spend time with kids and family.

@Topgub who says this? Very rich or unemployed? Either way, they say this to you?

The people I know who didn’t need to work weren’t always very happy and a lot of them had addiction problems. They were happier when they eventually found some kind of roles.

What kind of work do you do?

@Intrigueddotcom

Usually wealthy sahms. No, not directly to me but on these kinds of threads on working v not working.

Its been said on this one a few times already.

It would be dreadful for my children, as if left to their own devices, they're inherently rather lazy.
Work is good for them, and gives a sense of purpose and routine. They need the self-discipline.

Nothing special
I work in finance, always have, but it is for a union and one i feel passionate about, plus I feel challenged and love putting my training to use. Plus enjoy my colleagues company and engaging with our members. Plus, I like working with money

I think if I didn't have work I'd be depressed. I need a routine and like the feeling of earning my money and using it to enjoy life. That being said, I'd love a bit extra for bills / more holidays. But I think if I'd been handed this at 21, I wouldn't have experienced the things I have. Experiences which have shaped me.

That is very strange then because presumably these SAHMs have husbands that work a great deal in order to be the sole income. I wonder if the same the same to their husbands!

Can you adopt me please?