Dh didn’t invite me to boss’s wedding

[Dontgiveascoobyaboutthejubille]

Is that weird?

Dh comes home from work today, sits down and mentions in casual conversation that it’s his boss’s wedding reception on Friday night and he’d forgotten until reminded today.
I knew his boss had recently got engaged but had no idea when the wedding was or that he’d been invited, he never said.
I asked ‘Oh were we not invited?’ Meaning myself and Dd, 4, he said that of course we all were but he was thinking because she’s in bed at 7pm it wouldn’t work…so he’s planned to go himself.
I asked how he was getting there and back, he said maybe an Uber or I could drop him, I muttered ‘Charming’ and he went nuts at me, saying he didn’t understand what was wrong with me 🤷🏻‍♀️
Aibu to feel a bit weird that I had no idea about and he didn’t actually invite/ask me if I actually wanted to go? Plus then having to drive him all the way there and drop him off

Is it definitely him that's decided to not take you or have his work colleagues all agreed to go solo?

Everywhere I've ever worked when there has been a wedding or party and partners are invited, the work colleagues generally decide between themselves if they want to have a night out with colleagues or partners.

It's pretty awkward is someone then rocks up with a partner.

If they're all going solo I wouldn't be giving it head space.

But if his colleagues are taking their partners I'd definitely be suspicious that there was a reason he didn't want me to go!

My DH and I are going to a wedding of an old friend of mine in a few weeks. Our 7 and 9 year olds were not invited. If we couldn't get a babysitter, I'd have gone alone. It would have been really off if they were invited to be honest as most other guests don't have children. I wouldn't have taken them even if they were as listening to them being 'bored' and entertaining them would have been far from fun. I'd only take kids if it was a (close) family wedding.

Could you have got a babysitter?

But then you’d end up paying for a load of strangers to be at your wedding, which would be strange.

Good grief some of the replies here!

Of course it's strange for him not to mention it! "It's Gary's wedding on Friday, completely forgot! We're all invited but I was thinking of just going with some of the work lot, dc will be in bed by then anyway and you don't really know any of my colleagues"

Not hard. Completely different to not bothering to tell his wife and then just expect her to give him a lift there after he's decided he doesn't want her to go.

@Dontgiveascoobyaboutthejubille you're not being U.

I would not be driving him there. If he's so bothered about his daughter being in bed by 7pm he won't want her to be in the car dropping him off at 6.30pm, will he?

Plus, I don't do nice things for people who 'go nuts' at me. He can get an Uber.

I'd also be pondering long and hard about why he neglected to mention the invite, and why he decided that I was not going.

I would honestly just have said X is getting married on Friday I'm going to the evening with my work mates.

Wouldn't have mentioned if MrST had been invited

Yeah its weird

Ah the old casual 'I forgot to mention this meaningless outing that I am now oh so casually mentioning" trick. He's dumb enough to think you will think it very casual, almost forgotten about. Then he gets mad that you don't share the casual attitude he so elegantly faked.

He wants to go alone.

A dick move. Not a terribly uncommon one. It always pays off to find out if other partners are attending these events, as you might find they often do and you're the odd one out. They'll be being told how you declined, couldn't make it, too busy, maybe next time.

He must have known you wouldn't want to go..

Or - he must have known he didn't want you to go.

Or - he must have known he didn't want you to go.

Which is also equally fine. I wouldn't want my DH to come to a work colleague wedding either, unless most people would bring partners. Neither of us care if the other goes out without us but we might both be inclined to accept if we knew we were invited. Or we might not have been out for a while and think well its better than staying home. Neither option is particularly fair on the partner that then has to spend time making sure their partner is happy has company and so on instead of just having a general chat, bitch about work colleagues etc that would be boring and meaningless to anyone who doesn't work there. Therefore I wouldn't tell him he was invited on the off chance he gets it into his head to go.

Because he doesn't want you to go. He doesn't want you to have the time to find a babysitter etc. Would be my assumption and I think you know this. You are right to be upset. It's the not being honest and open about it and him clearly not wanting you there that are upsetting. I'm really sorry. It sounds like a really hard situation to be in. I, like someone else has said, would also be concerned that there was someone at work that had turned his head that he didn't want you to meet.

If you were invited to a wedding, work mates or otherwise you would tell him straight away right. The fact he hasn't is shady and don't believe 'I just forgot or it slipped my mind' that's bs, if you were excited to bring your partner you would tel them straight away.

I find it very rude that your DH didn't mention you were all invited, and that he decided you wouldn't want to go without actually asking you.
Clearly he doesn't want you to go at all, and it's useless to speculate as to why. (Although I'd ask him if I were in your position )
The babysitting question is a red herring.
It might be that no-one else is taking partners. Or it might not.

Over the years both DH and I have been invited to quite a few colleagues' weddings; we both worked for sociable businesses and it was absolutely the norm. We both got to know each other's colleagues and partners very well over the years and it was always nice to catch up with them. We made lasting friendships too.
In fact I can't remember any weddings, formal or informal, where wives or husbands were not invited. When we had DC they were invited too.
I suppose this was mostly when weddings weren't the extravaganzas costing £££££ they seem to be today where each guest costs the happy couple several hundred pounds.

Why would you make a snarky comment when you don't even want to go?

I agree with you DH to be honest... he probably knew you wouldn't want to go, and even if you did you wouldn't know anyone ... DH would have to be with you instead of his work friends.

I wouldn't invite DH to a work wedding

Sorry, but I just find it suspicious OP. You say you knew his boss had 'recently' got engaged and now the wedding is here already, he's forgotten to tell you about the invite but he's suddenly realised it's happening, he gets irrationally angry when you question him about it ...

I would be concerned he wants to be somewhere on Friday night and doesn't want you there. Maybe it's the wedding - it just seems a very quick turn around if they've only recently got engaged, what with the post-pandemic wedding back-log - or maybe that a convenient cover story.

Sorry if I'm being overly suspicious. I've been cheated on and a similar situation was used as the cover story, plus the getting irrationally angry when I questioned it.

I would do a little digging of my own @Dontgiveascoobyaboutthejubille
Just to satisfy that all is as your dh says it is.