Dh didn’t invite me to boss’s wedding

[Dontgiveascoobyaboutthejubille]

Is that weird?

Dh comes home from work today, sits down and mentions in casual conversation that it’s his boss’s wedding reception on Friday night and he’d forgotten until reminded today.
I knew his boss had recently got engaged but had no idea when the wedding was or that he’d been invited, he never said.
I asked ‘Oh were we not invited?’ Meaning myself and Dd, 4, he said that of course we all were but he was thinking because she’s in bed at 7pm it wouldn’t work…so he’s planned to go himself.
I asked how he was getting there and back, he said maybe an Uber or I could drop him, I muttered ‘Charming’ and he went nuts at me, saying he didn’t understand what was wrong with me 🤷🏻‍♀️
Aibu to feel a bit weird that I had no idea about and he didn’t actually invite/ask me if I actually wanted to go? Plus then having to drive him all the way there and drop him off

It's not weird at all. I've been to my boss's wedding on my own with other work colleagues and my DH has been to weddings of his work colleagues without me and the kids.

But did he tell you that you weren’t going or did you decide you didn’t want to go?

I couldn’t get excited about this to be honest. I’d send my DH on his own. It’s his workmates. I’d certainly not consider taking DC with me at all. It wouldn’t cross my mind.

YABU. Mountain out a molehill, and muttering under your breath is rude. He was right to assume that it’s not the best place for kids. I assume it will be him and the lads (and ladies) from work getting slightly pissed and I don’t know why you, or the four year old would want to be there.

Annoying that he forgot to mention it, but totally get-overable. Just have a breath, give him a squeeze and decide whether or not to give him a lift.

In my house, it would go like this:

DH: You're technically invited, but I assume...
Me: Oh, fuck no.
DH: Yeah, I figured.

I don't think it's inherently awful that he assumed that since it's basically a work function and your invitation is for politeness purposes only and you'd have to get a babysitter to go, that you wouldn't go.

If somebody extended an invitation to me via somebody else, partner or otherwise, I would expect to receive that invitation in the spirit it was intended.
Then I would decide if i wanted to go or not. I probably wouldn’t want to go to the evening reception with all DH’s work colleagues and no other partners but I’d be very put out not to have had a chance to acknowledge the invitation and consider it.
Your DH is being unreasonable - and dismissive of you.

It sounds like he's been putting off telling you until almost the last minute. Probably the invitation says @Dontgiveascoobyaboutthejubille DH + partner but he doesn't want you to cramp his style at the worky type do,

The decent and respectful thing to do would have been to show you the invitation and just cover with you the fact it's a work type function in the evening and talk through whether you go or not go - preferably not by the sounds of it.

Why be so secretive about it and spring it on you expecting you to not be able to turn up because of your DD. A bit shabby...

Thanks everyone.

Just want to make it clear, I wouldn’t want to go and definitely wouldn’t personally want to take Dd. The couple are older and don’t have/didn’t want kids, so I’m assuming isn’t really for kids anyway.
The bit I don’t get is why he never said anything until a week before 🤷🏻‍♀️I mean surely he’d been invited a while back and knew it was coming up and would’ve been nice if he’d at least asked if I wanted to go?

This would be almost the same conversation here too. 😃 The way you questioned him and then be snarky with your charming comment - do you trust him because it seems odd that you would drag your dd around bedtime for an evening wedding with people you don't even know.

This.

He is very rude.
Going mental?

Clearly he doesn't want you there.

But bringing a 4 year old to a colleagues wedding is something I have NEVER heard of.

@daisychain01 That’s what I feel…why doesn’t he want me to go

@Mally100 I don’t want to go and def wouldn’t take Dd..but why not mention it/at least ask me?

Had he bought a gift ? - you have both been invited .

its not about not wanting you to go! He either just wants to get pissed with his mates, or he forgot to mention it! Whatever! You don’t want to go, you’re not going, you could if you really wanted to, I cannot actually see the huge issue?! Perhaps he was invited months ago and it slipped his mind.

Absolutely bang on.

@LadyEloise1 He hasn’t got anything 🤷🏻‍♀️but is rubbish like that…perhaps I wasn’t invited and he just said that when I asked

You're married but you're still two individuals. It's so important to have your own friends and not do everything together. I'd find it more relaxing to hang out with my work colleagues and not have to do loads of introductions.

So your DH probably knew you’d say no to the invitation so made a decision based on that - which has probably been pre set from other invitations - and now you’ve got your arse in your hands about it?

DH goes to work functions - I don’t even ask if I’m invited - totally unnecessary!

@qpmz We do have our own friends, but in all honesty I can’t imagine just going to a wedding without him 🤷🏻‍♀️

This…

Tell him you have a babysitter and you could do with a night out and don't let him bully you. He did not even tell you that you were invited so did not even give you a choice so that in itself is very selfish. When is the reception? Why does he not want you to go would be in my head. Why is he going nuts over it, does he usually behave so horrible when having a normal conversation.

Why are people been rude to you on here. Go if you want to go as it is an excuse to get dressed up and an evening out. What would piss me off is the way your husband is losing his temper and if this is a normal and regular thing.

This is how you feel about going to a wedding. He clearly feels differently. I personally can’t think of anything worse than having to go and socialise with someone’s colleagues. I can’t see what your problem is. You don’t want to go anyway. He’s your husband, do you really need to play the game where he invites you to something that you don’t actually want to go to?

When we've gone as colleagues to work weddings, no one has ever taken a partner. It's not as though it's a family wedding.

I wouldn’t think a spouse is invited to a colleague’s wedding, but depends on the circumstances.

And definitely definitely not a colleague’s child.