Dh didn’t invite me to boss’s wedding

[Dontgiveascoobyaboutthejubille]

Is that weird?

Dh comes home from work today, sits down and mentions in casual conversation that it’s his boss’s wedding reception on Friday night and he’d forgotten until reminded today.
I knew his boss had recently got engaged but had no idea when the wedding was or that he’d been invited, he never said.
I asked ‘Oh were we not invited?’ Meaning myself and Dd, 4, he said that of course we all were but he was thinking because she’s in bed at 7pm it wouldn’t work…so he’s planned to go himself.
I asked how he was getting there and back, he said maybe an Uber or I could drop him, I muttered ‘Charming’ and he went nuts at me, saying he didn’t understand what was wrong with me 🤷🏻‍♀️
Aibu to feel a bit weird that I had no idea about and he didn’t actually invite/ask me if I actually wanted to go? Plus then having to drive him all the way there and drop him off

@VanillaIce1 We live abroad, where we are, it would be pretty normal not to bring kids/family to a wedding, I find it weirder in a way to just have all couples?

i'd be pissed off that he didn't give me a choice like it's his decision
i probably wouldn't go but it would be nice to be asked

Weddings are a only family thing if your family are getting married. Weddings- including receptions- are mostly not family friendly and I'd have been pissed if the few colleagues I'd invited to my wedding reception had rocked up with all their preschool kids skidding on their knees across the dance floor

My first thought is that there's a female colleague who has turned his head, but I'm suspicious like that. I think it's very odd that one wouldn't bring their spouse when the spouse is invited. I've been to many colleagues weddings and the invited coworkers always brought their partner if they had one. I also think it's odd/rude that he didn't tell you about the invite, and it's really unreasonable of you to think a four year old should go to this particular wedding.

...It's a Friday night reception for a work colleague. It's not a family event and his boss isn't a friend.

DH and I don't go to each other's work functions any more, even when partners are invited, because it's too much strain on both people - the one whose job it is has to "caretake" their partner instead of just being able to talk to their workmates, and the partner has to navigate an environment in which they literally only know their partner and they know they're making the dynamic much harder.

YABU. An evening invite is for the party, not exactly an invite for a child. Even children of that age that were at the day part are likely to be taken away during the evening section

If you are just invited to the evening part then you are not close so to assume you could take your child is strange

He likely just sees it as a night out with friends. No need for the attitude you gave him

It’s probably just because he knows you’d want to take your DC and he knows it will be less fun with them there (because it is and they get tired and bored).
either get a sitter, or let him go alone.

Surely you wouldn't want to take a child to an evening reception?

Recently went to a wedding of a colleague of DH. Invited to whole thing. It was hard work, we were sat with a group of colleagues and the partners either worked there now or previously.
It was a longgg day, lucky escape for you

I don’t think it is weird at all. He probably just wants to socialise with his work colleagues.
if I was invited to a colleagues wedding I wouldn’t take my husband.

No, weddings aren't just a family thing. Actually quite surprised your DC was invited at all, I wouldn't have expected them to be given the context.

Don't really see what your DH has done wrong tbh.

Do you trust him? That’s what this is about isn’t it? You think he shouldn’t go out to the work reception on his own because he is up to something.

I have been to evening wedding receptions of work colleagues. Sometimes partners are invited, sometimes not. It’s more fun to be honest if partners don’t go.

it’s not a family event just because of how you see weddings.

have you seen the invitation? Seems odd they invited such a small child who they don’t know to an evening reception.

I don't think it's unreasonable for him to go with people from work. I wouldn't expect DC to be asked to the wedding party but I think it's j reasonable that he didn't mention it and say what he thought.

It wasn't for him to make the decision unilaterally, no - he should have asked your feelings.

It wouldn't be weird for him to go without you in my opinion (personally, I'd be relieved to not have to go). What I do find weird is that he made the decision that you weren't coming without speaking to you and then totally over reacted to you said "charming"

Why would you take a 4 year old to a wedding party? Do you even know boss/ soon to be wife? You feeling that weddings are family events is irrelevant because it’s not your wedding

This. Why are you so desperate to go? You won't know anyone apart from your dh, people would most likely have work conversations and your dh would feel like he needs to make sure you are ok. And how cheeky to expect your DC to come too??

Does he often 'go nuts' at you, @Dontgiveascoobyaboutthejubille?

I would do exactly this if it all seems off.

The forgetfulness is wrong, you should have been told the day of the invite. Mind you, it's the last kind of event I'd want to attend, and if I ever get married again, no work colleagues will be invited (none were before).

Even if kids are invited why on earth would you want your dd dragged around during bedtime which would be a party? Your dh is right, your whole questioning him about going would have irritated me as well. I don't think he's wrong to assume that your 4yo would rather be sleeping than at a wedding party.

It don't think it's weird. I've been to several colleagues weddings without dh and vice versa. I'd rather go with work friends anyway. I wouldn't want to waste a babysitter going to someone's wedding I didn't know, but if you wanted a night out (for social reasons, like you don't get out often) then I'd prob expect my dh to recognise this and strange things.

I’d rather not go to something like this with my husband and he wouldn’t want to come to my colleague’s either.
However, neither of us would just decide that the other can’t come.
This decision making on your behalf plus his angry reaction would be making me very suspicious.

Weddings do seem to bring out the worst in people, sometimes.
DH was his best mates bestman, I was invited to the evening do!
I had to take DH the day before 3+ hour round trip, the go back the next day for the evening. Not my best wedding experience. DH was a bit embarrassed by the whole thing, their friendship has dwindled quite a lot since then.

There's nothing wrong with you not choosing to go. What's weird is him not telling you about it