MIL gave OH money for my birthday cake

[Jas5mum]

So my MIL gave OH £60 so he could buy me a birthday cake for tomorrow and get some snacks/treats for the kids.
He's spent it all and got my a cheap basic chocolate cake. I wanted a jubilee cake this year for something different. We had a chocolate cake 2weeks ago for my daughters birthday
So disappointed 😞 Has brought any bacon either so guess I'm not getting the breakfast I asked for either.
He's disappoints me more every year

I think I'll reserve judgment until we find out what he spent the money on.

It's possible he bought the chocolate cake because op bought it for their DD's birthday recently so he thinks she likes it.

He might have spent the rest on treats and snacks for the kids, as mil requested.

I don't understand all the 'pocket money' digs either. I earn my own money but my mum will still sometimes give me some to buy something specific, or because she wants to treat the kids.

Obviously also possible he bought a £10 cake and spent the rest on himself but we don't know that yet.

My ex did this. He actually borrowed the money from ME, £20 ( 35 years ago , so he could have got me something thoughtful ), said hed pay me back on his payday .
On my birthday I got ........a bag of crappy fudge from the corner shop. Then he said he was meeting his pal for a drink ( obviously on my £20 ).
He then refused to pay me back.
Just one in the long line of his shitty behaviours .
Eventually I left.

I agree with all of this except the first option. It's only when we find ourselves moaning about it so much or when other people let us know it's not normal that some of us get the confidence/energy/belief to leave after years of being worn down. Sometimes it takes years to get to that point but it's still worth leaving in the end.

For lots of people who came from dysfunctional families or had stately home parents it's easy to fall into those kind of relationships. You start out vowing you won't. But remember these guys are a bit cleverer than that, most start out being everything you've looked for in a family guy and then you cling onto them when the behaviour gradually deteriorates because you're so keen to hang onto the dream of a loving relationship/healthy family set up. It can take time to tear yourself away from that and start again without support.

I would ask MIL to give you the money next time so you can get what you want.
(And also not give ant cake to your OH as he doesn’t deserve any).

What did the rest of the money go on OP?

Have you actually asked him?

Oh and I forgot to say "Many Happy Returns of the Day!"

Ignore that selfish twat and focus on you and the kids. Your MIL sounds lovely.

Another "one post and we're done".

Too many of these recently.

This!

More info needed….
Not sure why people continue to comment/advise on posts like this, where the member with the perceived ‘problem’ doesn't engage or respond on any level.

This is really sad for you but given the issues with the cost of living atm it's definitely worth checking that he's not had to use the money to pay for something else... birthdays can be so difficult if you have little money. Could it be possible that he's held the change back for something else to make your birthday special such as a takeaway? ( just for example)... I don't agree with the posts suggesting you should just leave him or making the assumption he's bought himself something with the remainder, all that is known so far is he didn't use the full £60 on a cake. I do hope your birthday gets better though op, it is what you make it x

That's awful OP. I sometimes pop a few pounds over to my son, if I know he and his girlfriend are going out or whatever or taking a trip. He always makes sure they share it, eg dinner out. Just a little treat when I can help them out.

Happy Birthday OP! I hope you have a lovely day xx

Is there any evidence of him buying any other snacks etc for the kids or nothing apart from the cake? If nothing else appears throughout the day eg surprise meal out then I would ask what happened to the rest of the money. Did he know you wanted a jubilee cake? Sometimes you have to just do things yourself if you specifically want them, I usually organise my own birthday but to be fair oh does do well with nice presents.

Why is MIL giving him money for your cake? Did he realise it was your bday last minute? I'd be fuming. I hope you had a lovely birthday 🎂 x

Come on, op. We need to know whether you had bacon for breakfast, a decent cake and a nice day. Or whether you had a shit cake while he walks around in a new pair of trainers.