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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

MIL gave OH money for my birthday cake

115 replies

Jas5mum · 02/06/2022 19:16

So my MIL gave OH £60 so he could buy me a birthday cake for tomorrow and get some snacks/treats for the kids.
He's spent it all and got my a cheap basic chocolate cake. I wanted a jubilee cake this year for something different. We had a chocolate cake 2weeks ago for my daughters birthday
So disappointed 😞 Has brought any bacon either so guess I'm not getting the breakfast I asked for either.
He's disappoints me more every year

OP posts:
restedbutexhausted · 02/06/2022 19:36

grapewines · 02/06/2022 19:34

Imagine being such an incapable adult that your mother has to pay for your wife's birthday cake and then making it worse by pissing the money away.

He sounds like a catch!

My DH used to expect me to do the legwork thinking of and buying gifts for his family members but wouldn't even bother to remember the birthdays of mine.

Needless to say we are separated.

viques · 02/06/2022 19:36

Make sure you send MIL a picture of the cake, your sad breakfast and the snacks.

in the meantime , happy birthday from me.CakeFlowersGlitterballWine

ChocolateHippo · 02/06/2022 19:37

I'd out him to MIL. Send her a picture of the basic chocolate birthday cake and say "Thanks MIL, OH said this was your treat."

WooNoodle · 02/06/2022 19:37

viques · 02/06/2022 19:36

Make sure you send MIL a picture of the cake, your sad breakfast and the snacks.

in the meantime , happy birthday from me.CakeFlowersGlitterballWine

Yes I'd do this.. so she can see what he has done with the money. I hope he is ashamed of himself.

RyanAirVeteran · 02/06/2022 19:37

ZekeZeke · 02/06/2022 19:17

What did spend the £60 on?

Pound to a penny it was drugs.

Hwory · 02/06/2022 19:37

That’s really sad. What has he said why he hasn’t spent the £60 on you?

PriestessofPing · 02/06/2022 19:40

Well he’s certainly shown how little he thinks of you, and i’m sorry he’s done that.

worraliberty · 02/06/2022 19:41

FatCatSkinnyRat · 02/06/2022 19:20

He sounds like a baby if his mummy is still giving him spending money

As much as he's bang out of order here, this ^^ is a very cuntish thing to say.

You do realise many families are struggling to make ends meet don't you? And that perhaps his mum just wanted the OP to have something nice for her birthday?

Eviebeans · 02/06/2022 19:41

If MIL feels she has to step in to make sure OP gets a birthday treat then there is probably an awful lot more going on in this relationship than just this.

AnotherEmma · 02/06/2022 19:42

LTB

What's been stopping you so far?

Snowflakes1122 · 02/06/2022 19:43

YANBU.

So what DID he spend the money on?

Luredbyapomegranate · 02/06/2022 19:46

You have to organise the birthday you want, I have found.

However I would find a way to let you MIL know that he has frittered your b'day cash, what the f has he spent it on.

justfiveminutes · 02/06/2022 19:47

It doesn't sound like he cares about you or your feelings very much.

Wait and see what happens tomorrow though, as he might have spent it on other nice things for you.

If you do indeed get a cheap supermarket chocolate cake and nothing else, make sure you send his mum a 'thank you' photo.

Triffid1 · 02/06/2022 19:54

The sad thing is that your MIL was probably trying to help. She knows he's useless, and she wanted to try to hide it.

AskingforaBaskin · 02/06/2022 19:56

So what are you going to do?
Because I would bet anything this is the tip of a disgraceful iceberg.

You deserve so much better.

Happyplace88 · 02/06/2022 19:58

Selfish prick. YANBU.

EveryFlightBeginsWithAFall · 02/06/2022 20:00

What has he spent it on !

diddl · 02/06/2022 20:01

Presumably he knew what cake you wanted Op?

That's really sad.

I mean if he cba he could have handed you the money.

But to spend it on himself.

He doesn't think much of you & the kids does he?

billy1966 · 02/06/2022 20:01

What a waster.

Lockheart · 02/06/2022 20:02

worraliberty · 02/06/2022 19:41

As much as he's bang out of order here, this ^^ is a very cuntish thing to say.

You do realise many families are struggling to make ends meet don't you? And that perhaps his mum just wanted the OP to have something nice for her birthday?

Show quote history

I'm glad someone else has said this. Money is very very tight for so many people and a lot of families can't afford luxuries like cakes, so maybe MIL wanted to help out?

Staryflight445 · 02/06/2022 20:02

Why did he have to take £60 off his mum to even do this?

I think there lies the bigger issue tbh.

Lockheart · 02/06/2022 20:03

diddl · 02/06/2022 20:01

Presumably he knew what cake you wanted Op?

That's really sad.

I mean if he cba he could have handed you the money.

But to spend it on himself.

He doesn't think much of you & the kids does he?

OP hasn't said what he spent it on, other than the cake for her which apparently is the wrong cake.

Sceptre86 · 02/06/2022 20:10

I remember from a previous post you've got 5 kids, I'm assuming all with your dh. Has he always been like this or is it a new thing? I'd be disappointed that he took money from the mil to buy you anything tbh. He should be able to fork that out himself, its not his mum's responsibility and if you are going to Disney he can more than afford a cake.

Hadjab · 02/06/2022 20:12

FFS, maybe MIL just wanted to treat her DIL to a nice cake, for no other reason than because she can. Not all MILs are bitches.

EveryFlightBeginsWithAFall · 02/06/2022 20:16

Hadjab · 02/06/2022 20:12

FFS, maybe MIL just wanted to treat her DIL to a nice cake, for no other reason than because she can. Not all MILs are bitches.

Exactly, I've done similar before for my dil because I actually like her! and money can be a bit tight when you've got young dc. Ds wouldn't have spent it on something else though!