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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

MIL gave OH money for my birthday cake

115 replies

Jas5mum · 02/06/2022 19:16

So my MIL gave OH £60 so he could buy me a birthday cake for tomorrow and get some snacks/treats for the kids.
He's spent it all and got my a cheap basic chocolate cake. I wanted a jubilee cake this year for something different. We had a chocolate cake 2weeks ago for my daughters birthday
So disappointed 😞 Has brought any bacon either so guess I'm not getting the breakfast I asked for either.
He's disappoints me more every year

OP posts:
FlissyPaps · 02/06/2022 20:16

Did you tell him you wanted a Jubilee cake and not a chocolate cake, OP?

A Jubilee cake is a bit of a strange request and I wouldn’t expect someone to buy me one if I haven’t told them.

Reallyreallyborednow · 02/06/2022 20:19

my dh’s logic would be that’s the chocolate cake we had previously, everyone enjoyed it, i’ll get that again. Unless you’ve specified a jubilee cake.

HPD76 · 02/06/2022 20:19

I love my ex and I always will, but the straw that broke the camels back of our relationship was when he didn’t get me anything at all for my birthday, not even a twix and the promise of a cuddle later. I had to go and get my own cake because I couldn’t stand the disappointed looks on the kids faces. Within a week we had separated. He had his chance and he couldn’t prioritise me on my own birthday, so for that and a million other reasons I called time on the relationship. It’s been hard, but honestly leaving someone who couldn’t respect me was the best thing ever.

User3568975431146 · 02/06/2022 20:19

Why on earth would you (presumably an adult as you're a parent) want a cake and a jubilee one at that then go in a huff because you didn't get what you wanted and aren't getting bacon in the morning??

He may have had much better things to do with £60 than waste it on an adults birthday tea.

That's quite an example of how to act like a spoilt person to be setting for your child

worraliberty · 02/06/2022 20:23

User3568975431146 · 02/06/2022 20:19

Why on earth would you (presumably an adult as you're a parent) want a cake and a jubilee one at that then go in a huff because you didn't get what you wanted and aren't getting bacon in the morning??

He may have had much better things to do with £60 than waste it on an adults birthday tea.

That's quite an example of how to act like a spoilt person to be setting for your child

Did you miss the very first part of the opening post?

So my MIL gave OH £60 so he could buy me a birthday cake for tomorrow and get some snacks/treats for the kids.

FlissyPaps · 02/06/2022 20:26

worraliberty · 02/06/2022 20:23

Did you miss the very first part of the opening post?

So my MIL gave OH £60 so he could buy me a birthday cake for tomorrow and get some snacks/treats for the kids.

Show quote history

No correlation between the first part of the opening post and specification of a Jubilee cake.

WishILivedInThrushGreen · 02/06/2022 20:27

I get what you're saying OP.
I'm sorry that he hasn't spent the money wisely on you

As an aside, the MIL bashing is getting a bit silly on MN.

ChocolateHippo · 02/06/2022 20:28

User3568975431146 · 02/06/2022 20:19

Why on earth would you (presumably an adult as you're a parent) want a cake and a jubilee one at that then go in a huff because you didn't get what you wanted and aren't getting bacon in the morning??

He may have had much better things to do with £60 than waste it on an adults birthday tea.

That's quite an example of how to act like a spoilt person to be setting for your child

In which case he should have handed over the £60 to the OP, since it was given to him for her, not for himself.

HotPotatoWithMayo · 02/06/2022 20:33

YNBU how thoughtless .. My husband buys a chocolate cake every year.. I really don't like chocolate cake I love Victoria sponge with icing.. i hint and say it every year..so I eat a thin slice for show for the kids and then they all demolish the rest 

Holly60 · 02/06/2022 20:34

Babdoc · 02/06/2022 19:21

And you are still with this delightful charmer because…?

Because his mum is bloody lovely I guess ....

HappyCup · 02/06/2022 20:34

User3568975431146 · 02/06/2022 20:19

Why on earth would you (presumably an adult as you're a parent) want a cake and a jubilee one at that then go in a huff because you didn't get what you wanted and aren't getting bacon in the morning??

He may have had much better things to do with £60 than waste it on an adults birthday tea.

That's quite an example of how to act like a spoilt person to be setting for your child

This is hilarious. How dare you want cake @Jas5mum, and on your birthday too! Don’t you know you’re supposed to only ever eat,
plain, sensible foods from the moment you hit 18?! Put that cake fork away, have a dry cracker and be grateful. What’s wrong with you!

girlmom21 · 02/06/2022 20:36

So your OH has stolen from his mom and in essence stolen from you and your children? He sounds like a charmer.

MrsTerryPratchett · 02/06/2022 20:37

Let me guess what he spent it do; fags, booze, weed or hobbies. Maybe gambling but thats a long shot. Get it?

What an arse.

Reallyreallyborednow · 02/06/2022 20:38

i hint and say it every year..so I eat a thin slice for show for the kids and then they all demolish the rest

so stop hinting and tell him you don’t like chocolate cake. And stop eating a thin slice for show. If the kids ask why say the same, you don’t like it.

Bobbins36 · 02/06/2022 20:39

ChocolateHippo · 02/06/2022 19:37

I'd out him to MIL. Send her a picture of the basic chocolate birthday cake and say "Thanks MIL, OH said this was your treat."

💯this!

Cherrysoup · 02/06/2022 20:41

I’d be furious. Tell his mum and tell him exactly what you want, snacks, cake etc. He needs to buy it for you now. I bet he didn’t even get you a card, did he?

Her mil gave the money for this purpose, @User3568975431146 He should have therefore spent it on her, not what he wanted. Only on mumsnet can you ever be told you can’t want a cake for your birthday. Why on earth not?

GCAcademic · 02/06/2022 20:41

User3568975431146 · 02/06/2022 20:19

Why on earth would you (presumably an adult as you're a parent) want a cake and a jubilee one at that then go in a huff because you didn't get what you wanted and aren't getting bacon in the morning??

He may have had much better things to do with £60 than waste it on an adults birthday tea.

That's quite an example of how to act like a spoilt person to be setting for your child

I know right? I mean if it was normal for an adult to have birthday cake, the shops wouldn't only sell cakes for children, would they?

And bacon? The utter decadence! What an example to set to your kids, tsk.

HereIAmBrainTheSizeOfAPlanet · 02/06/2022 20:46

SmartieRants · 02/06/2022 19:22

How do you know all this?

Yes, did your husband or Mil tell you all this?

Ihatethenewlook · 02/06/2022 20:47

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Eviebeans · 02/06/2022 20:48

When hoping to get cake on your birthday is thought to be expecting too much you get to realise just how joyless life can be.
Looking at her other threads it Sounds like OP could do with some practical and emotional support here and IRL to make changes for herself and her family

DenholmElliot1 · 02/06/2022 20:51

How do you know she gave him £60 to buy you a birthday cake and what supermarket cake costs £60 anyway? Or did she give it a while ago so that he could order a bespoke one?

Herejustforthisone · 02/06/2022 20:51

That’s appalling. What a selfish prick. He won’t change. He’s told you how little he thinks of you. It’s time to leave.

JeansAndJumper · 02/06/2022 20:56

That sounds upsetting OP, I feel for you. I hope you manage to have a great birthday in spite of this Flowers

Notmyzoonotmymonkeys · 02/06/2022 21:02

@Jas5mum
That's not a nice thing to do hope you get what you deserve and have a great day its also my birthday tomorrow great day to be born, happy birthday 🎂

Badger1970 · 02/06/2022 21:10

Sounds like your birthday is the tip of the iceberg here.

Can you salvage the day and go off/do something with just you and the kids? And maybe MIL... she sounds very kind.

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