MIL gave OH money for my birthday cake

[Jas5mum]

So my MIL gave OH £60 so he could buy me a birthday cake for tomorrow and get some snacks/treats for the kids.
He's spent it all and got my a cheap basic chocolate cake. I wanted a jubilee cake this year for something different. We had a chocolate cake 2weeks ago for my daughters birthday
So disappointed 😞 Has brought any bacon either so guess I'm not getting the breakfast I asked for either.
He's disappoints me more every year

Why on earth would you (presumably an adult as you're a parent) want a cake and a jubilee one at that then go in a huff because you didn't get what you wanted and aren't getting bacon in the morning??

Hello, @Jas5mum 's lazy selfish husband.

Your MIL sounds lovely. Your husband sounds like a twat.

I hope you’ve told his mum what a selfish bastard she’s raised.

I'm guessing MIL already knows.....hence being thoughtful enough to treat DIL on behalf of her useless son

I’ve not voted as it depends what he spent the rest on.

If it was a present for you then YABU but if it was on himself then he is BVVVU!!

Did he know you wanted bacon?

I wouldn’t have guessed my partner wanted a jubilee cake or bacon without them telling me.

But I think the bacon and type of cake is irrelevant- what is relevant is what he’s spent the rest of the money on.

From the OP

Has(n't) brought any bacon either so guess I'm not getting the breakfast I ASKED FOR either. (my capitalisation)

For me, it depends a bit on the history. My husband has made some faux pas in his time, but they haven't been repeated, which is the point. I am now quite specific if there's something I really want. I would however be cross at where the £60 has gone, even if the cake was a crappy one, I would expect the rest to be spent on birthday nibbles.

The OP other thread is about booking Disney (USA) so money can’t be that tight .

Did she ever come back and engage in that thread?

Seems odd, and charming of him, not, ltb

The OP other thread is about booking Disney (USA) so money can’t be that tight .

Whether money is tight or not makes little difference if @Jas5mum 's husband is a thoughtless uncaring twat. She has 5 kids, one with SEN, and a grumpy husband, who doesn't support her in parenting. All the money in the world doesn't go far to fix that sense of not being loved or supported.

🔔🔚
Him not you btw. Next year, if you're still with the prick ask mil to buy the cake herself/send you the money directly.

Your MIL sounds really lovely. Shame about her son. So sorry OP

Ignore the smarmy comments about pocket money.

MIL has given him money to buy a nice treat for you and he's squandered it. Totally unfair on both of you.

Happy birthday op 💐 give yourself a great birthday present and LTB

Happy birthday OP. Give yourself a nice treat and get rid of him.

Tell his mum. She’ll be pissed. Obviously he doesn’t respect you as much as she does. (If at all.) selfish twat.

I was thinking the same. Had you indicated you wanted a Jubilee cake? If not, how would he know.

you say the £60 was for cakes and snacks, so did he buy the snacks as well? If so, he probably thought he was doing the right thing.

He sounds like a loser, tbh, OP. I'm assuming the basic cake wouldn't have cost the full amount, so what happened to the rest of it? Your last line gives the impression that he's always selfish and disappointing (reliant on his mum to fund his wife's birthday cake?), this is as good a time as ever to make some changes. Demand better for yourself and your children.

Ugh! Why on earth does your OH essentially get pocket money from his mother still. That is such a turn-off. And the fact that he spent it on himself too. Ick.

@Astralis I've only got as far as your post so far, but I am guessing an iceberg of Titanic proportions sadly.

For those saying a chocolate cake doesn't cost £60, the money wasn't all for the cake! The very first sentence in the OP says

So my MIL gave OH £60 so he could buy me a birthday cake for tomorrow and get some snacks/treats for the kids.

Why is your MIL giving a grown man money to buy his wife a cake? Did the cake plus snacks tally up to £60’s worth or did he pocket some for himself?

So many of us put up with suboptimal partners and their behaviours 😪

There are only really 3 answers,
-Put up with it and stop moaning.
-Talk and resolve - use a counsellor if it helps.
-Finish it.

Relationships need work, if both parties aren't prepared to work at it, then it's not an equal relationship and needs to end otherwise 1 party will live unhappily.

Our own happiness is more important than any other excuse we can find. If we're happy our kids are happy. Always prioritise yourself x