To not want a public Jubilee party outside my door?

[Eeksteek]

I freely admit, I’m not into all this Jubilee-palooza. (I’ve no objection, just not feeling the excitement for anything much at the moment). Three of my neighbours have already attached flags to my house, which I think are cheap and tacky, but I said yes because I don’t want to spoil it for them. It’s no big deal.

My NDN wants to have a street party. Other immediate neighbours are up for a celebration of some sort, but lukewarm about a street party as such. She keeps trying to pin us to a time and going on about what are we doing and doing leaflet drops and so on. I’ve said I’m happy with casual drinks, not a public event. This morning she asked if she could put a gazebo outside my house. (Because of the bend, I have a wider bit, which isn’t exactly public and isn’t exactly mine). I said ok, and they already know I ‘might’ be away anyway. Then she was talking about putting it on the local Facebook pages. I asked her not to, saying I didn’t want the whole village turning up outside my front door. She said ok. Then she said she was thinking of printing off jubilee invitations this afternoon and leaflet dropping an unspecified number of people. I’m really uncomfortable with it. I don’t want a party anyway. I definitely don’t want a load of people I don’t know partying on my doorstep, whether I attend or not!!

I asked her not to. I said being just me and my daughter meant I had to take personal safety more seriously than a family and that’s why I wasn’t comfortable with just anyone turning up right outside my house. I feel like I’ve completely spoiled her fun and made myself look like a drama llama. (She’s lovely, and we get on well, but she’s more sociable than me!). She’s said she’ll move it to her driveway, but I feel awkward about it. I don’t mind my neighbours hanging out there, but not the whole street, and it seems to her there’s no real difference.

Was that unreasonable? I accept it’s my issue but I think it’s reasonable in my circumstances. Just trying to get perspectives on whether I should woman up and get over my tighter-than-average privacy boundaries.

@browneyes77 I envisage that you envisage quite a lot of things.

Yes, well it’s not hard to when you have a brain and a bit of commons sense 😏

Yeah you don't get to say she can't do it at all, sorry. It's not your street. I doubt strangers will be turning up to street parties to rob people's houses or something 🙄 couldn't be a worse time than during a street party, could there? With streets full of witnesses? Don't go if you don't want to, but don't spoil the fun for those who do want to get involved.

It's just one day and only a few hours at that.

@Fidodidit I'm usually based in Edinburgh but currently further north. There are people with bunting and jubilee celebrations advertised, but I'm assuming mainly for tourists.....
OP, as a grumpy bitch with hyperacusis I would not like a shit load of people outside my home or nextdoor either. I would definitely have something else to do that day!! Leave them to it, as long as any mess is cleared up BY THEM, crack on...
Is there a specific reason you are concerned about the your safety and that of your child?

I've been burgled twice, and one of those times - I was in. I was even awake, sitting watching TV. The other time I was out and my neighbours saw nothing.

You underestimate burglars.

If it's on a public highway you can't stop her. Provided noone steps into your land I can't see why you feel the need to be anti about it. It's only for one day.

I just saw this, made me think of this thread..

metro.co.uk/2022/06/02/burglars-to-target-whole-streets-while-people-party-for-bank-holiday-weekend-16758466/#:~:text=Thieves%20are%20expected%20to%20take%20advantage%20of%20drunken,braced%20for%20an%20influx%20of%20calls%20from%20homeowners.

’Oh hello, Mr Sexual Assault from number 14. I live alone with my pre-teen daughter just here. Yes, That’s right, this exact house. Nooo, no close family. Husband dead. Parents abroad. Often don’t check in with anyone for weeks. Pop in when you have a moment, won’t you?. I’m always in’

I am very, very careful who has that knowledge. I’m open about being a single parent, because it’s obvious anyway, but my address is something I don’t give to people I don’t know really well. If I went to a street party and was asked where lived, I’d say ‘down the bottom’ or ‘one of the closes’ only if asked directly and move very swiftly on. I can’t do that if the party is on my doorstep. And I couldn’t not go. You can see into my kitchen, four feet from the gazebo. I’m virtually already there! People don’t walk past every day, I’m tucked in a bend of a close. No one ever walks past there at all, and very few people walk along the close anyway. And they don’t know it’s just me. I’m very careful about personal safety. I don’t curb my activities, and I’m not living in fear, but I do limit as far as possible who knows where I live. That’s what I mean about being more careful than average about my personal safety. I’m pretty astonished it’s not obvious.

In the event she had the party in her drive. I’m on a bend and her drive is round the corner. I didn’t go and don’t know how it went. I don’t know if leafleted. There was lots of kerfuffle and coming and going most of the night from various do’s, which is fine. I don’t mind the parties at all. Just not bang outside my kitchen window.

I think if people want to find out where the single parents live it’s not that easy. And being a single parent doesn’t automatically make you vulnerable. You sound like you live in fear, which is sad.

Not even a little bit. I’ve researched the risks, I take appropriate precautions, and then I live my best life. I’m just very careful who knows where I live and that I’m single. It’s an objective risk management strategy, not an emotional response.

Being a lone woman does automatically increase your risk. Pedophiles also specifically target single mothers in order access children, as it’s so hard through groups and things now.

Hmm. The way that predators engage and integrate is quite sophisticated. It is definitely worth being on high alert but knowing who lives where is quite basic information.

It certainly is fifty random people who belong to the local FB group turn up literally on your doorstep to party! I was totally fine with her personally inviting people she actually knew. Just not the ‘put up a poster’ mentality. (Well, a public FB event, but you get the idea).

I’m sure it’s not at all simple. But then keeping burglars out (which hadn’t actually crossed my mind. Anyone can get burgled, I don’t feel more at risk than the next house) is not as simple as locking your doors. Yet we all do it, it’s a basic precaution. No one is referred to as ‘living in fear’ of burglars because they lock their door each night. To me, making sure random people don’t know it’s just me and DD in the house and where that house is just the same. A very easy and basic precaution against being targeted as a lone woman. I do it, forget about it, and get on with life unless something like this comes up (it’s rare. I can only think of one other incident, and one other thing I do regularly that ‘affects’ my life. It’s really not a big deal). It would not have even crossed my mind if I had been one half of a couple, though.