To not want a public Jubilee party outside my door?

[Eeksteek]

I freely admit, I’m not into all this Jubilee-palooza. (I’ve no objection, just not feeling the excitement for anything much at the moment). Three of my neighbours have already attached flags to my house, which I think are cheap and tacky, but I said yes because I don’t want to spoil it for them. It’s no big deal.

My NDN wants to have a street party. Other immediate neighbours are up for a celebration of some sort, but lukewarm about a street party as such. She keeps trying to pin us to a time and going on about what are we doing and doing leaflet drops and so on. I’ve said I’m happy with casual drinks, not a public event. This morning she asked if she could put a gazebo outside my house. (Because of the bend, I have a wider bit, which isn’t exactly public and isn’t exactly mine). I said ok, and they already know I ‘might’ be away anyway. Then she was talking about putting it on the local Facebook pages. I asked her not to, saying I didn’t want the whole village turning up outside my front door. She said ok. Then she said she was thinking of printing off jubilee invitations this afternoon and leaflet dropping an unspecified number of people. I’m really uncomfortable with it. I don’t want a party anyway. I definitely don’t want a load of people I don’t know partying on my doorstep, whether I attend or not!!

I asked her not to. I said being just me and my daughter meant I had to take personal safety more seriously than a family and that’s why I wasn’t comfortable with just anyone turning up right outside my house. I feel like I’ve completely spoiled her fun and made myself look like a drama llama. (She’s lovely, and we get on well, but she’s more sociable than me!). She’s said she’ll move it to her driveway, but I feel awkward about it. I don’t mind my neighbours hanging out there, but not the whole street, and it seems to her there’s no real difference.

Was that unreasonable? I accept it’s my issue but I think it’s reasonable in my circumstances. Just trying to get perspectives on whether I should woman up and get over my tighter-than-average privacy boundaries.

I can understand not wanting "outside Eeksteek's house, number x Road" on a public Facebook page or NextDoor group.

Maybe ask that you are not identified by name, and if the location can be given as "outside numbers 40-50 x road" or similar. That way it's just a location on the street, not linked to your house specifically?

At the same time society is unlikely to be fully equal and all issues solved, therefore what's the alternative, put all celebrations on hold ?

Loads of misery guts on here. Even if you're not into it, why stop others having fun? Anyone can walk outside our houses at any time of night and day, (unless gated community), why would you care if more people from the village congregated there for a few hours, for probably the only time in your lifetime? Your neighbour sounds lovely, community spirited and respectful to ask if you minded it being outside your property - especially given that you do not own the land.

I'm a single parent and it really grinds my gears when others use this as an excuse for practically anything.

She’s not stopping others having fun - merely asking them not to do it right outside her front door.

@Octomore How can you tell? (I don’t dispute it, but I can’t tell) The chap opposite has a similar thing, and says his is a shared driveway with the boundary in the middle. I’ve always meant to dig through the deeds and check, but never got round to it.

It’s my gazebo, though!

MintyMoocow
why does Dobbysgotthesocks have a vile attitude just because doesn't want a party outside her house. And why should she move her car to a field just because her neighbours want a party, especially when she has limited mobility. I don't blame her.

Our street party well up the road is on Friday the forecast is torrential rain and thunderstorms. So anyone planning anything have a plan B in place

Taken from my bedroom window.

Even if you're not into it, why stop others having fun?
I don't see why the right of other people having fun should override the rights of other people to be able to relax in their homes or their right to be able to use their car to access their home if they need to. Fine if people want to celebrate the Jubilee but why not do it at a public event that people chose to go to. Why expect everyone in the neighbourhood to feel the same way and inflict it by on them.

That part is way out of order. It makes it look like you’re the organiser or joint organiser, and have given your blessing for the party to be right outside your house.

Because it's been a horrendous 3 years for most if not everyone, Sue. So why not just relax and allow others to have a little fun? Its not hurting anyone, there are no security concerns, it's a small gathering, for a few hours, for one time in this persons lifetime.

It doesn't seem 5 minutes since the diamond one tbh, we've had Jubilees practically every 10yrs and that's without the VE day celebrations in between.

I don't mind stuff like this but I absolutely understand why some people don't like enforced parties on their doorstep. Any 'do' should be at a local park or village centre where attendance isn't quite so mandatory.

Don't agree with the OPS address being put out there, but assuming she doesn't live on a huge avenue, surely the street name should suffice anyway!

If she wants a party she can have it in her own blinkin driveway!!!

Yanbu. Around here any excuse for a street party is used as an excuse by people who like to spend all day drinking on the street, blasting loud music and letting their awful children run riot all day.

Having a few neighbours around is very different from flyers and invitations. There are people who given the current levels of poverty and lack of policing could use such an event to steal, or even the presence of unknown people be used as cover for another of the neighbours.

The OP is reasonable to object to the nature of the party proposed.

It would depend on the street tbh. You know your neighbours, are they the type to get pissed until the early hours outside your house or will it be a few nice people drinking tea and eating cake until late afternoon?

Personally I don't see how you can refuse, you don't own the land, I'd request my name and my house not be used as directions i.e. 'outside X's house at no. 2 made-up Lane' but other than that I think I'd suck it up, as others said it's not a weekly occurrence.

I'm not particularly bothered about it but I'm enjoying seeing a bit if celebration going on after the past two years, it feels nice.

If she wants a party she can have it in her own blinkin driveway!!!

You make it sound like she's having it on OPs driveway, she isn't. OP doesn't own this land.

I am not a royalist and those friends I have who are excited and inviting me to any event that involves flag waving have been told by me, NO! not interested...dont want to go...not putting up bunting or flags and not attending anything. Frankly I see no reason why you should be pushed into doing something you dont want to do...this is only a problem as you are being too nice and not voicing what you want. Tell her you would prefer she use her driveway.

You don’t have to go. You don’t have to contribute or think it’s a good idea. But you can’t and, imo shouldn’t try to, stop other people celebrating in a public place, no matter how near it is to your property. We don’t have platinum jubilees every five minutes. I think you’re being a bit precious and should get over it.

YANBU - your house, your garden,your rules.
There will be a street party here but we are not interested at all and don’t care what neighbours think. The monarchy is so outdated and full of criminals, mysoginists, cheaters,etc. if you want to celebrate then fill your boots but not everyone wants to and shouldn’t be made to feel they should.

She’s been bringing it up for weeks and we’ve all been unenthusiastic!

From her POV you just don't say anything because you don't want to help. So in her eyes, she's doing you all a favour. You must always use actual words "no, i don't want it" "no i don't want to join in" so they get the message

im so sorry - I’ll pray for rain in your patch too- don’t see why you should have your freedom of movement impacted for a party. It sounds very inconsiderate.

She's not really asking you to do anything, and it's only for a few hours? I think you're being difficult. Be that if you want to, it's your right, but I wouldn't.

YANBU
Don't go feeling guilty about your decision to not have the gazebo outside your house, as no one would want piles of vomit on their doorstep as well as a landfill full of litter near their homes.

I am presuming alcohol may be consumed in large quatities and if its anything like where I live, you could have ended up with Dantė's inferno gone beserk on your doorstep.