To not want a public Jubilee party outside my door?

[Eeksteek]

I freely admit, I’m not into all this Jubilee-palooza. (I’ve no objection, just not feeling the excitement for anything much at the moment). Three of my neighbours have already attached flags to my house, which I think are cheap and tacky, but I said yes because I don’t want to spoil it for them. It’s no big deal.

My NDN wants to have a street party. Other immediate neighbours are up for a celebration of some sort, but lukewarm about a street party as such. She keeps trying to pin us to a time and going on about what are we doing and doing leaflet drops and so on. I’ve said I’m happy with casual drinks, not a public event. This morning she asked if she could put a gazebo outside my house. (Because of the bend, I have a wider bit, which isn’t exactly public and isn’t exactly mine). I said ok, and they already know I ‘might’ be away anyway. Then she was talking about putting it on the local Facebook pages. I asked her not to, saying I didn’t want the whole village turning up outside my front door. She said ok. Then she said she was thinking of printing off jubilee invitations this afternoon and leaflet dropping an unspecified number of people. I’m really uncomfortable with it. I don’t want a party anyway. I definitely don’t want a load of people I don’t know partying on my doorstep, whether I attend or not!!

I asked her not to. I said being just me and my daughter meant I had to take personal safety more seriously than a family and that’s why I wasn’t comfortable with just anyone turning up right outside my house. I feel like I’ve completely spoiled her fun and made myself look like a drama llama. (She’s lovely, and we get on well, but she’s more sociable than me!). She’s said she’ll move it to her driveway, but I feel awkward about it. I don’t mind my neighbours hanging out there, but not the whole street, and it seems to her there’s no real difference.

Was that unreasonable? I accept it’s my issue but I think it’s reasonable in my circumstances. Just trying to get perspectives on whether I should woman up and get over my tighter-than-average privacy boundaries.

There has been the obligatory " live from Privet Drive" filming of a street party on the news and it about 10 people who looked as bored as fuck and the organiser, who had been organising " for months" .
I think people look at the 1952 street parties and think it will be such fun and then it isnt really .
Ive had a nice day watching the parades and we had a nice lunch and a scone.
Not remotely miserable because I didnt sit out in the street on a plastic chair

I'm not a fan of the royals at the best of times, I do think the queen has done an amazing job but I certainly have no intention of celebrating anything. As such, I wouldn't want half the street hanging around outside my door, possible trampling all over the garden etc. If it were me, I'd have said no to everything, you want a party, do it outside your own house and cordon my property off as a no-go zone.

Interesting to see the vote split here, currently fairly close YABU:YANBU. The comments make me think - I can hear my neighbours' voices there. A few neighbours have organised a street party basically for themselves and been selling tickets god knows where. They are bullies and a law unto themselves and whilst they are presenting it as them being so kind and hardworking to organise a party for the kiddies I know full well that by 6pm we'll have their mates pissing in our driveways and food and rubbish dumped in the front gardens which we can enjoy clearing up the following morning. But hey, can't spoilt their fun eh?

Having got the licence from the council on the the pretence that no one objected, they'll close the road when they want and re-open it when they want; just hope I can move my car in time. No one says anything, they all pretend its ok. I'm shutting myself in with the windows closed of course (they have hired a disco which will be playing from 12 till 12 so even double glazing won't help much) but its been very uncomfortable in the run up to it, let alone during.

I'm sure there will be some lovely events throughout the country, but I feel its been a gift to people who want to get smashed in the street - in this case, someone else's street!

I asked her not to. I said being just me and my daughter meant I had to take personal safety more seriously than a family and that’s why I wasn’t comfortable with just anyone turning up right outside my house. I feel like I’ve completely spoiled her fun and made myself look like a drama llama.

That's because that excuse makes you sound like a real drama llama. Realistically a jubilee party out in the road isn't going to compromise your personal safety, and you don't really get to dictate what happens out in the street anyway as you don't own it. Fine to say you don't want it because you're not in the mood for it, not fine to make up silly sounding excuses.

I feel for you.

I have enjoyed the previous jubilees (silver, gold & diamond), joined in with street parties & took kids up to see her maj. I think the tories have ruined it all for me.

Not being horrible but I expect there will be a flood of coronation parties in the not too distant future.

Oh & I didn’t get an extra day off as I work in a school & it’s within the half term anyway 😠

I don’t understand why you think a street party is a threat to your safety?

I said being just me and my daughter meant I had to take personal safety more seriously than a family and that’s why I wasn’t comfortable with just anyone turning up right outside my house
You know "just anyone" could turn up outside your house at any time, as you live on a public street where anyone can walk past. What are your safety concerns with a party going on for an afternoon?

You weren't unreasonable to ask them to put the gazebo elsewhere as that's.your property and your prerogative. However I think you're unreasonable to object to the party altogether. Its a few hours of your life. Just go out if you don't want to be involved.

I agree with you. It’s her party so she should have arranged it at her house in the first place. Stick to your guns you don’t want strangers outside your home. I wouldn’t dream of setting up a party at someone else’s home. Anyone who disagrees and says it’s once in a lifetime event and it’s only a few hours are entitled to their opinion but so are you. I can see you have been pressured into this and little by little the friend has taken over. Why didn’t your neighbour set this up from her house in the beginning is beyond me. I can see both sides of the argument but you have to be comfortable and your clearly not so your neighbour will have to accept this as you are entitled to say no.

You don’t need to move your car if you need it, but is there any harm if you don’t?
why hope for rain? And spoil a party.
it’s not their fault you’re unwell. I wish you a speedy recovery and I wish them a sunny Sunday.

Good news Dobby - it's now going to piss down all over on Sunday!

…..and others don’t give a whooping funt !

I hope there is a storm to blow those hideous flags, gazebos and bunting away…. now that’s poisonous .

Personally I have no interest in the Royals or Jubilee but nice to see people getting together. It's unclear what the layout is but if neighbours want a party on this occasion outside your house BUT NOT on your property then you probably are being being unreasonable. If it were on your property you would not be unreasonable to say no. While many of us can feel uncomfortable for many reasons I'm unclear why you would feel unsafe if people out side your house on a public space.

Hahahah some of these posts honestly. It's the jubilee not the bloody purge. Hahahha.

I get you but it's only a couple of days? Do you have to go out? I'd just be hiding in my house. I'd stock up and I'd move myself to the back garden and hide. I'd have a pint and wait for all this to blow over.

So you'd personally be ok with widescale leafleting and advertising on facebook and potentailly a truckload of not your street people arriving would you? Potentailly strangers all asking to use your bathroom, sit down in your lounge to take respite from the sun, asking you for nibbles or drinks all day? I know I wouldn't be happy with that at all, and thats just thinking about the nicer folks out of more that may be tempted to turn up for free food, drinks or personal items they might grab...

It's one day. Let them enjoy it.

Same here. I've had my neighbours turn up at my door and want me to come out and play. I loathe all this jubilee business. I'm inside with my curtains drawn and headphones on.
Anyway it's pissing down now so they've all gone.

Just back from a lovely event in our village. Food, drink, games for the children a fun quiz for the grown ups, music and films in every decade the queen has reigned. Old to young we had a wonderful time

How on earth is the safety of you and your daughter going to be threatened by people eating sausage rolls and drinking pinot grigio in the street outside your house?

Union jack bunting appeared in my street on Wednesday night. No one asked me but I'd have looked like a miseryguts if I'd objected to the people who bought it out of their own pockets fixing it to my garden railings and I'd have looked mental if I'd have torn it down. It looks nice. I expect it will disappear on Sunday night but if not I will put it in the bin myself.

A gathering for neighbours is starting now (6pm). Like the bunting it's been paid for without anyone asking me for any money but if they had asked I'd have given them a couple of quid. If I couldn't afford it I'd have said no. About 30 people live in my street. The organisers (the couple over the road) won't be checking passports so there is a risk of outsiders from the neighbouring street. I doubt we will repel them - we're not really like that.

I'm not really into the Royal Family and I'm not very sociable but I will show my face because it's a nice thing to do. FGS people are always complaining that no one knows anyone and no one cares.

How would you like me to get back from my car to my house? Im mobility restricted! My scooter will not go across the field particularly if it's wet. I live remotely and there isn't a neighbouring street I could park on.
Im ill. In the middle of chemo. And no I don't want the whole village making a racket outside my door from 11am to midnight (which is what the road closure is for)
I am supposed to be going out on Sunday evening but I won't be able to go because I won't be able to either get my car through or get to my car. If I have a medical emergency I won't be able to get out either unless it's so bad I have to call an ambulance.

@hellcatspanglelalala unfortunately it is looking dry here on Sunday ☹️

limitedperiodonly · Today 18:11

"How on earth is the safety of you and your daughter going to be threatened by people eating sausage rolls and drinking pinot grigio in the street outside your house?"

It's not really that hard to work out, surely? OP made that comment after saying the organiser was "talking about putting it on the local Facebook pages" and "printing off jubilee invitations this afternoon and leaflet dropping an unspecified number of people."

That level of publicising an event would likely attract large numbers, not all known to the OP. Thieves and burglars love that sort of environment! Break into a house whilst the resident is outside at the party, if they get rumbled claim the door was open and they thought that was to allow 'neighbours' in to use the toilet, and they're wandering into every room picking up small pocketable valuables 'trying to find the toilet'. Likewise, pickpockets could pretend to live in the village and work the crowd. Pickpockets love a crowd!

And that's why the OP "didn’t want the whole village turning up outside my front door". Common sense and being able to see the potential hazards. Something the organiser didn't seem to factor in.

@WhereYouLeftIt I am finding it quite hard to work out now you mention it. If you were in it would be hard for someone to burgle your house without you noticing. If you were out then I would hope a public spirited neighbour outside your house might ask a burglar what they were up to forcing the door or climbing through a window. It's not generally the way most people use the loo, is it?

I've just come back from the party outside. People were playing Abba which is not at all to my taste but like I said I would be a miseryguts to complain about Dancing Queen. My house was as I left it.

@limitedperiodonly I am finding it quite hard to work out now you mention it. If you were in it would be hard for someone to burgle your house without you noticing

Well surely if they try to enter your home to rob it whilst you’re in, that’s the exact threat to personal safety the OP is talking about?

Opportunists getting into your home whilst you and your child are there, seems like the very definition of a threat to personal safety to me.

People all outside enjoying themselves, drinking, loud music etc would they really notice someone sneaking into another’s home? Especially with the big fuck off gazebo blocking it’s sight like the neighbour wanted to erect originally.

I didn’t find it hard to envisage at all. Maybe some of us are less naive and just more safety conscious.