MIL has been in A&E 17½ hours. AIBU to think this is totally unreasonable

[PearlyShamps]

MIL has pain shooting from her groin, down her leg. Cannot walk or bear weight. GP advised to call 111. They advised to go to A&E. There, at 6pm yesterday, she was told 5 hour wait. She and her husband (both well into there 70s) have now been waiting almost 18 hours. She has been triaged, but not seen by a dr. They have missed 2 meals and a night's sleep. We feel useless and unable to help. Its utterly ridiculous!

I can understand how frustrated you must be. Are you able to drop some food to them? Plus phone charger and a blanket ? Or could DH swop
places with your FIL so he can go home and rest?

Your MIL might be better off not eating in case she needs some surgery.

Hope she is seen soon

And this is "summer" (IE the time A&E usually has significantly less demands)

Our NHS is being decimated before our eyes.

Hope you MIL is seen soon.

We have offered to bring food, but they said no. There is a shop there that sells sandwiches etc. FIL popped home last night to pick up both of their meds. Thankfully she is not in pain when she sits. Still cannot stand or walk unaided.

17 1/2 hrs is insane, have they checked that they haven't been forgotten or got lost? 17 1/2 eaits usually involve imaging, blood, speciality or bed waits even at the worst not to see an initial dr! Are they in the waiting room?

Tell someone they haven't eaten since 6pm yesterday, they can get your MIL a sandwich, can FIL leave for a bit and go get some proper food?

My DM was in a and e for 24 hours once , but this was at the height of covid. Why can't she be bought food? Unless they are considering operating?

FIL picked up all the necessities. DH offered to swap places with FIL, as have I. They are very independent, and don't want to put us out. It wouldn't be putting us out in the slightest, but they are insistent.

I would be asking what has happened after triage. The fact that a medic hasn't assessed yet is strange. FIL needs to advocate and ask as this doesn't sound right at all!

This is awful! Your poor MIL and FIL. I presume they have asked how much longer they have to wait?

in april my dad went to a and e with chest pains and breathing difficulties (he’s 84) on advice from his gp. he was there 9am until 3am the following day when they found him a bed. they said they were going to do an echocardiogram. he was in there a week. echocardiogram kept being cancelled. eventually they sent him home and he got the echocardiogram 1 month later as an out patient. i know they are under pressure but i can’t help thinking that they really don’t help themselves sometimes.

The UK is third world for medical care. It has been for some time. Society needs to admit this because it would be the first step towards solving it.

I'm assuming he has politely enquired about the wait? To check they've not been missed somehow?

To be honest I'd just turn up and say look have an hours break at least.

Yes, I agree with @WooNoodle – don’t offer, make it happen. It’s really easy when someone’s saying “shall we do this?” to say “No, no, don’t trouble yourself” because help is hard to accept. But turning up with food and water, phone chargers, blanket, one of you drives FIL home for some rest, one of you waits with MIL: it’s easier to accept as a fait accompli.

YANBU.
They need to be proactive, squeaky wheel etc. Shouldn't need it when you've likely paid fifty years of insurance but we've had our service is fucked.

If they haven't even been triaged it sounds as though they have somehow been missed. They need to speak up (or someone go there and speak up for them).

It isn't normal at all for an older patient to be left for 17+ hrs without being seen by anyone at all.

My DD was mistakenly marked as 'gone home' in A&E once. It was only because so many people coming in after us were bring seen I went to ask.
So mistakes can happen. Suggest to your FIL to check.

Definitely worth checking they don't think they'd left. A and E couldn't find me at one point as the porter had left me in the wrong place after an X-ray. They rang to ask me if I'd discharged myself, but easy when I couldn't walk at the time....

Sounds like they’ve been forgotten. Are they likely to need help advocating for themselves I.e. will they not want to cause a fuss? If so you/DH may need to do it for them and I wouldn’t offer - just do.

That is terrible - has she fallen at all?

Definitely rock up and take over for a bit, and ask some pointed questions - what exactly is she waiting for? On the face of it (with no additional information) is a hip fracture a possibility?

We got forgotten once (pre covid) ds was tiny just a few month and been unwell and then got a low temp and the gp was worried about sepsis - called ahead and we went up to a and e. Got triaged and sent to wait. We kept saying we thought we were in wrong area (ooh urgent care not paeds a and e) they kept sending us back to wait.
after 4 hours saw a gp !!!!! Who took one look at ds and rushed thorough to the other side where the drs had been waiting for him but couldn’t see in their system that he was there and nobody knew where the baby with suspected sepis was it was a nightmare

In addition how have staff not noticed that have been sat there for 17 hours, appreciate they are busy but surely youd notice 2 people sat waiting for your whole shift?.
Hope your mum is seen soon

Could she smash a window and trash the place? That way she could get arrested and get treated faster in custody.

joking aside, that is an awful and unacceptable wait for your MIL. I hope it gets resolved immediately