MIL has been in A&E 17½ hours. AIBU to think this is totally unreasonable

[PearlyShamps]

MIL has pain shooting from her groin, down her leg. Cannot walk or bear weight. GP advised to call 111. They advised to go to A&E. There, at 6pm yesterday, she was told 5 hour wait. She and her husband (both well into there 70s) have now been waiting almost 18 hours. She has been triaged, but not seen by a dr. They have missed 2 meals and a night's sleep. We feel useless and unable to help. Its utterly ridiculous!

@Kite22

What I am amazed at is 11% of people have voted YABU

I agree. There are loads of people putting the blame on us not charging up there and demanding she be seen. The problem is not us, it is the state of an NHS on its knees.

Its appalling that she, and all the other patients waiting there, have had to wait 18 hours to see a doctor!

Blimey😯

The last time I was in A&E was last September. I'd fallen off my bike and fractured my shoulder in 3 places. I was in, xrayed and diagnosed within about 30 minutes or so. I then had to wait about an hour or so for either a doctor or senior nurse practitioner (can't remember which) to see me and make the Fracture Clinic referral. (I ended up coming back 2 weeks later for orthopedic surgery.) Fortunately for me it was quiet (8.30am Thursday) but also they could see and hear I was in severe pain.

If people want to improve the NHS I suggest considering who you vote for. If a service is cut or failing for 12 years I would recommend something wild such as.....voting for a different party. They may all be a bag of dicks, but we do know what isn't working, dont we?

Sadly most people in the UK are so obsessed with 'either/or' scenarios and would happily vote for a US style (truly 3rd world) system that charged 5K for an ambulance just to spite the 'work shy'.

Oh your poor mum 🥲

After a lot of morphine & god knows what else, plus slings & braces etc, I was at least able to go to the bathroom (though it probably didn't help my injuries) but I had to flag anyone walking past to pull up my knickers & leggings. I think they were all hospital staff, but I was too far gone to actually care that much about my dignity.

I voted YABU because I think it is UR that if your MIL is in A&E, you start a thread on AIBU on MN.
I'm also cynical about the agenda of certain anti-NHS threads on here.

That's terrible and I agree we do need to be outraged as a country.

I still cant get my head around how nursing degrees are no longer funded. Removing the fees again might help to recruit.

They're lucky to be allowed in together. We had to leave our elderly relative alone (not mobile) and weren't allowed to wait with her

Fucking hell, that's definitely the worst waiting times I've heard of.

I was in an 'over spill' room too, so it made it harder to know how many people were being seen (or not) but when all the people who came after me with non life threatening injuries were being seen before me, I decided it was time to ask when it would be my turn!

I took my teen son in with chest pain. I assumed we'd be prioritized but we waited 3 hours to be triaged and a couple of hours after that for ecg. He had pericarditis.

the NHS's policy these days is to leave anyone over 70

That is a very old lying online smear perpetrated by commercial medical interests in the USA to discredit universal healthcare in the eyes of Americans.

We're in the UK, both well over 70 and so are many of our friends and social contacts. We're ALL still getting NHS treatment as inpatients and outpatients; by treatment I include cancer and heart diagnoses and treatment, accident and emergency admission and surgery, and end of life care. There has NEVER been the slightest hint of NHS treatment delayed or refused on account of being 70+.

We feel useless and unable to help.

I am still stunned one or both of you have not gone in there. You could... stay with her while he has a toilet break, for one. Provide moral support.

@DaisyQuakeJohnson

I voted YABU because I think it is UR that if your MIL is in A&E, you start a thread on AIBU on MN.
I'm also cynical about the agenda of certain anti-NHS threads on here.

I have no agenda, and I'm very pro-NHS. I was genuinely shocked that a person can wait 18 hours in A&E, and even more shocked to hear so many people saying they and their loved ones have encountered similar, or worse scenarios.
Whether you think so, or not, I find it unreasonable that someone should wait that long. The reception staff have been kind, and doctors were also, when she saw them... but really, 18 hours is not on.

It's bad OP, I totally agree with you. My mother was left in a corridor for 8 hours waiting to be seen. No one thought to give her a drink or anything. She had a double pulmonary embolism. I'm glad your MIL has been seen now, hopefully this now gets the ball rolling.

Honest question. If they have survived 17.5 hours in A&E wouldn't they have been better waiting at home overnight and calling the GP?

Shooting pain and unable to bear weight sounds deeply unpleasant but like painkillers/hot water bottles at home overnight and calling the GP in the morning would be the first plan unless things got significantly worse overnight?

I am assuming no other dangerous symptoms e.g change in heart rate/breathing or known underlying conditions.

People complain how long they wait but A&E is supposed to be for accidents and emergencies - broken bones, heart attacks etc. Not sprains or stomach aches/things that would normally be treated by a GP.

I say that as someone who has a genuine life threatening illness so spends a lot of time in hospital. I often see people for whom hospital is a stressful and not needed experience and they'd have felt better waiting for their GP in the morning.

Equally to the poster who thinks the NHS lets over 70s die - I have spent 6 of the last 8 weeks on a ward and circa 80% of the patients were 70+. They often take up much more of the doctors time e.g. needing things explained to them repeatedly, shouting for nurses rather than pressing the buzzer, refusing to engage with the physio teams encouraging them out of bed etc.

All while younger patients are waiting for medication they've been prescribed/serious pain relief/having allergic reactions (all real experiences in my case).

Thing is @Heartbroken2007
a) they weren't expecting to be waiting after 18 hours, so couldn't have made that call at the time
b) They did contact the GP, who referred them to 111, who advised them to go to A&E

very sorry to hear this.

We have unfortunately had cause to use A&E twice in the past months. Each time we were triaged and then sent home with a realistic time to return the next day when we went straight to the medic in question.
however I appreciate that it was already obvious what specialty was needed in our case.

Of course it's unreasonable to wait 18 hours.

I've seen this full circle - I remember as a child waiting 10 hours in the early 90s with a thumb I'd crushed in a car boot, and family friends waiting 3+ years for a hip replacement.

Then labour got a decent run at it - during which time I'd been through medical school and partway through my training as an orthopaedic surgeon - and saw people being referred with hip arthritis by their GP, being seen in clinic 10 days later, and having their hip replacement 2 weeks after that. I also saw the introduction of the 4 hour A&E waiting target (with the resources to support it) - which although not perfect almost completely eradicated issues like the ones in this thread.

Since labour left power, 26,000 of the UKs 180,000 hospital beds have been defunded and taken away, with little additional investment in community care or preventative medicine, and people wonder why the system is clogged up and failing, if I wasn't so cynical, I'd suggest it was incompetence...

I'm not saying vote labour, but, If you're concerned about stories like this happening to you, or your loved ones, you need to vote not-Tory at the next election if it's not too late by then.

Similar thing happened to me when I was 8 months pregnant. It was during lockdown so I was by myself and unable to get any food as I was too scared of leaving the waiting room in case I was called. 12 hours I waited to be seen with no food! Anytime I got up to go the toilet (frequently) someone took my seat so I had to stand for a lot of it until someone took pity.
Sorry your MIL is going through similar. It’s truly shocking.

It might help recruit but it won’t help retain. I left nursing after 30 years when I should have had another 10 to 15 years “work” in me. My back was knackered, my mental health was shot and no one actually cared. I have lots of colleagues who are now childminding, dog walking or working in a supermarket.

@PearlyShamps I’m sorry your in laws have had such a long and difficult wait. I hope MIL recovers soon.

@Heartbroken2007

Honest question. If they have survived 17.5 hours in A&E wouldn't they have been better waiting at home overnight and calling the GP?

She attended A&E at the advice of her GP and then 111. At 6pm, when she arrived, she was told it was likely 5 hour wait. She had no idea she'd still be in the hospital the next day.

The fact she "survived" the night does not mean there is nothing wrong, or that she shouldn't have gone to A&E. It's a rather unsympathetic response, to suggest she perhaps shouldn't have gone in the first place.

They didn't send her home with painkillers and a hot water bottle, but have sent her for lots of tests. They are thinking it might be related to an underlying condition she has... this is not a sprained ankle.

Unfortunately this is quite normal although not right I would honestly ignore what they are telling you and go up there anyway take some bottles of water and snacks and have a word with the receptionist while your there to find out what is actually going on

We all know it’s unacceptable, but nothing will ever change. It will only get worse. Our healthcare is in dire shambles…and I’m sorry for your MIL and anyone who has to succumb to their care.