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AIBU?

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Original poster

How to handle bonkers request from neighbour

251 replies

DaphneMoonsSeattle · 31/05/2022 16:38

We live on a small estate (22 houses). One of my neighbours knocked on my door yesterday to ask if I could please stop my DC riding their scooters past her house.

Today my DD came in to tell me that the neighbour had now asked her not to ride on the footpath outside her house. I went outside. She asked me why my DC ride on the footpath right outside her house. I told her; it's a footpath. They're allowed on the footpath. I have asked DD to avoid being right outside her house but my DS is autistic. I've told her that. He doesn't understand "don't ride your scooter on this particular bit of the footpath".

But, aibu to think that what she's asked is unreasonable? You can't ask people to not use a footpath! They are not on her property, fair enough she can absolutely ask people not to be on her property, but she can't control the footpath. She's complained that they ride their scooters near her car. Her car is parked right beside the footpath. She's in a corner house so she probably does have more footpath outside her house than most. But that's not really anybody's fault. She's really taking it personally. 'They're outside MY house'. They're on the footpath, they're not peeking in her windows!

OP posts:
Moonface123 · 31/05/2022 18:08

We are turning into an anti child, dog, cat , bird , basically anything that moves society.

HairyMclaryz · 31/05/2022 18:10

My DC have scooters but I don’t let them go up and down the same part repeatedly for a long time - I wouldn’t let that go on for more than 10 minutes really. We do live on a big enough development for me to send them off to scooter around the block though, so they are passing houses briefly and not repeatedly. Three hours would drive me mad, and I’m all for letting children play.

WeBuiltCisCityOnSexistRoles · 31/05/2022 18:10

Threads like these make me glad my DCs are older! (I once let mine loose with chalks on the pavement outside our house and one of them drew a willy Blush)

Oneforallforone · 31/05/2022 18:11

We live on a new build estate, right on the edge and the road bits outside our house are safe enough for kids to play. Every evening, kids ride their scooters up and down outside our sitting room windows.

Yes, they're absolutely allowed to, its not our property. Yes, we live on an estate so do expect noise. No, I would never say anything. But it's so loud and repetitive I do wish the parents would limit the time they do it!

I think I might have to say something if it was 3 hours a day though.

GoodThinkingMax · 31/05/2022 18:11

Hmmm, while your neighbour's request is a bit odd, it's understandable. Children on scooters on pavements which pedestrians use can be dangerous. Are you absolutely certain that other pavement users - pedestrians - are safe from being bashed into by children who are in only partial control? I've had to dodge or get out of the way of children on scooters going for my Achilles tendons or my knees - I've avoided injury a couple of times. That's too many times, frankly.

Pinklimey · 31/05/2022 18:14

If she is anything like my extremely annoying neighbour, ignore her. There is one on every estate and they send you nuts.

PinkSyCo · 31/05/2022 18:15

Ask her not to park her car near where your kids like to scoot.

Chewchewbacca · 31/05/2022 18:18

It depends. Our near neigbour lets her older dc do this for hours outside our and neigbours house but not her own .!
They yell and scream. They also play in the road and throw balls across the road or scateboard across the road. They also threw stuff on my van by accident when outside our houseand got a stick to get it off .. i told them not to as they wd damage the roof window. 5 mins later they ignored me and did it again . The most scary thing is they go by my house so fast on bikes and hve nearly knocked me over when i walked from my drive to the path.
No way my dc do that!
I think if your dc are not doing things like this ie a danger to others or property its fine .. unless they only play outside a particular house for hours on end .

user1471457751 · 31/05/2022 18:18

@CuriousCatfish it was during lockdown so I couldn't, it wasn't lazy to follow the government rules.

balalake · 31/05/2022 18:18

I think the parking of your car outside seems a sensible response.

Philisophigal · 31/05/2022 18:20

This reply has been deleted

This has been withdrawn at the user's request.

user1471538283 · 31/05/2022 18:21

They are children! I'm always happy to see children playing outside.

Some people are just miserable. My DGGM used to shout at children walking past her home on their way to their own!

ilovemydogandmrobama2 · 31/05/2022 18:22

Yup, bonkers - as opposed to my next door neighbours.

They both work in education, know that DD1 is mid GCSEs so decided it would be a brilliant idea to start major building work Angry

ivykaty44 · 31/05/2022 18:25

DaphneMoonsSeattle

could you put two chalk lines in - one at the start of "neighbours land" and one at the end and tell your dc as a hoot to pick up their scooters and walk sensibly with them across that part of the path?

Strictly speaking then they would be doing what the neighbour has requested, but you make it such its a bit of a game - like an adventure course, so fun for the dc to remember.

I disagree with the neighbour and think she is batshit - dc should be playing outside

but to try and keep neighbourly relations of a fashion, and also keep the dc happy with some fun it maybe a solution

Butchyrestingface · 31/05/2022 18:25

Reminds me of when I was a teenager, and a couple I didn't know, living three streets away, used to yell and swear at me for walking my dog past their house twice a day. Their objection - the two GS in the house next door would bark when they espied my doggo.

Naturally, we never missed a day. 🙂

TheEnemy123 · 31/05/2022 18:27

Tell her it's unfortunate if your children are bothering her, they don't mean any harm, but if you don't want kids playing near your house then you need to move somewhere where you have no neighbours.

Katypp · 31/05/2022 18:28

"Ignore her. It's not your problem if she WFH. If she doesn't want to hear kids playing out she can go into work."

(Are your DC riding back and forth between your house and the neighbour’s house over and over again?) "If they're not doing this, you need to encourage it immediately."

Are people really so utterly disrespectful of others living in the same space? For what it's worth, I think your neighbour is being a little unreasonable as she doesn't own the path, but some of the answers on this thread!

What is it about having children that seem to turn some people into rude, entitled, unpleasant bullies? Is it some misplaced assumption that you are acting in your child's best interests by defending everything they do, no matter what the consequences are to others?

I live in a similar estate and when my children were small, I too had one set of extremely unreasonable neighbours, who bought a bungalow right in the middle of an estate of open-plan garden family homes, then seemed surprised when families with children moved in. They called the police many times because the children were playing football near their garden (not in their garden, near to). I also have another neighbour who gets agitated when anyone goes within about 10 metres of his car with a ball (he has a garage but chooses not to use it) until I reminded him of when his children were small and played out in the street. Just different life stages I guess.

ivykaty44 · 31/05/2022 18:28

I once let mine loose with chalks on the pavement outside our house and one of them drew a willy

that made me spit out my coffee

Benjispruce4 · 31/05/2022 18:28

Don’t start capitulating as the demands will escalate. So lo mg as they are not being unduly noisy, she cannot possibly make a request like that.

ivykaty44 · 31/05/2022 18:33

Don’t start capitulating as the demands will escalate

not necessarily, it depends how the requests are handled in the future and you can say, next time a bonkers request is made actually state - well look last time we did compromise on your weird request but this time we are not going to and full have to live with it

Onlyforcake · 31/05/2022 18:34

Goodness the anti child vibe is huge and very disturbing. It's a footpath, within reasonable hours.
If she can't suck up the sound of her fellow humans then she should look at ear plugs or therapy for whatever issues she has. It's normal for children to play.

420Bruh · 31/05/2022 18:35

Ignore her she's mental.

RealBecca · 31/05/2022 18:35

Yabu. 3 hours is far too much. If you have time to supervise them then you have time to take them to a park or for a scoot.

Imagine if she was playing shit music or letting her dog bark outside your house for that long. It's too much. It's a path in a residential area not a playground.

MissMaple82 · 31/05/2022 18:42

Scooter noise is annoying as fuck, you should be considering your neighbours quality of lives too. Maybe take your child to a park to rode theor scooter instead of directly outside people's houses where they have a right to peace and quiet

worraliberty · 31/05/2022 18:46

I can't believe people think 3 hours out of a day - not all at once is too much.

The only thing that worries me here is your DS not being able to understand a simple instruction, when he's playing outside unsupervised.