To refuse to buy these shoes?

[DontLookBackInAnger1]

I have a soon to be 4 yr old son who says his favourite colours are pink and purple and he always makes a beeline for rainbows, sprinkles and unicorns.

He wants his next shoes to be rainbow, pink shoes, he says.

I would LOVE to get him the bling-est most special sparkly shoes I can find. But will he be picked on? Will people judge us?

Not starting school this Sept in case that changes things.

Would love to hear if you'd buy very girlie shoes for a young boy?

Yes DS had several pairs of girl shoes though thankfully he never liked glitter and unicorns as I hate them.

I am planning to reuse them for DD.

He's mostly grown out of it now, I think due to peer pressure. He still wears the last pair of blue and pink sandals.

If you do get them you might want to explain gently that some people think these things are more for girls (even though that's silly) so he may get some comments.

Also did you see this thread

5 year old boy loves dressing up as a princess www.mumsnet.com/Talk/parenting/4557632-5-year-old-boy-loves-dressing-up-as-a-princess

My son's favourite colours are pink and purple and he's had pink, sparkly and rainbow shoes (and clothes) since he was old enough to express a preference. Who do you think will pick on him or judge you?

My six year old has pink trainers. No one says anything.

Let kids be kids and let him choose what he wants. But help him grow a thick skin and be confident with his choices. He will be confident if you are.

Back him with whatever he wants to wear. There are not girls shoes or boys shoes, just his shoes.

Older kids in the playground and maybe other preschool kids really. Most of the little boys in his preschool where Spiderman everything.

My partner (his dad) will also raise an eyebrow. He doesn't care, but I suspect will think I'm opening him up to possible nasty comments.

He doesn't particularly like it when he wants his nails painted. Not because he thinks it's wrong, just because he doesn't want to create any issues for him.

He has years of boring school shoes ahead of him, let him have some fun now.

in my experience, at that age they seem to just accept what everyone else wears/does. might notice if someone else is wearing something they particularly like but otherwise pretty oblivious. (appreciate others may have different experiences)
Once they start school, seems to be a little more emphasis on gender but that's when it is important to emphasise that colours/toys/characters etc are for everyone, not just girls OR boys.
I think if that's what he likes you should just go with it. the more little kids are exposed to others wearing/doing what they like regardless of stereotypes, the less power those stereotypes have.

My 4 year old son loves pink sparkly things. He currently has a pair of rainbow sparkly wellies he never takes off, and often chooses to wear his pink leggings. He also loves Spider-Man and lots of other superhero stuff, so he has a good mixture. Kids that age just like what they like. He's not had any bother from any of the other kids in his nursery. He has long hair which I usually tie up into a messy bun and he often get mistaken for a girl if we're out and about, but he's very confident and will happily correct people that he's a boy. It's me that gets some funny looks from adults rather than him, but i honestly don't care.

Let your son wear his sparkly shoes!

Yeah, why not. They’re only shoes. Let him express himself.

Let him wear what he wants. He is 4.
Kids will say nasty comments about anything these days , regardless of what he is wearing. There is also fully grown men who wear pink or nail varnish etc.
If a 4year old girl was wearing "spiderman" shoes , nobody would bat an eyelid. But god forbid a 4 year old boy likes the colour pink and rainbows

Given how quickly they grow out of shoes, I would just let him choose. He won't have them for long and will probably want something different next time.

My son was still happy scooting on a hot pink maxi scooter at age 10.

He chose the colour when he was 4 and stuck to it.

You should let your DC do it how they prefer. To be honest no one ever thought to mention the colour of the scooter.

I would if he really wanted them before school age. They tend to grow out of wanting their nails and hair done quite young bless them. I was always painting my sons nails and tying their hair up. By school age they wasnt as keen. Let him enjoy it while it lasts.

My 3yo DS has rainbow flashing girls wellies (not that girly to be fair). Today he has worn a pair of DDs purple floral leggings. I deliberately bought clothes from the boys and girls section for DD but it's trickier with a boy. I'm embracing it for now as presumably he will feel different in the future sadly. At the moment the other kids don't seem bothered.

He’s 4, who’s going to pick on him? And would he even notice?

Unfortunately, ideologically I agree with you. But in reality?

Gender stereotypes are pretty engrained and I'd imagine grown men who wear nail varnish do get quite a lot of abuse for it.

Then you'll be there to intervene, reassure him and give him the confidence to wear what he wants without worrying what other people say. It's a good time for him to learn that some people might judge, but he doesn't have to let that define him or change his behaviour to accommodate their prejudices.

Buy him the shoes, my 3yr 8 month old had pink dinosaur wellies!

My 4 year old loves loves pink. He has a pink cycle helmet, pink trainers, pink t shirts with his jeans! I did feel a little tentative spending 40 quid on pink trainers....but they look good on him!

My eldest got fixated on a princess Belle dress when he was 4. I bought it for him and he wore it for 2 days straight and refused to take it off!

He won't be judged by other kids. I'm sure many of them will have older teenage siblings and will be quite used to things being classed as genderless nowadays. Other young children will just think they're cool.

You will be judged by other parents though.

My son is now 13 and has been wearing sparkly shoes since he was little. We went for some glittery boat shoes typed things. Have previously bought them in gap, John Lewis and Primark but often in the "girls" sections. He gets lots of compliments and they are a great way for him to start conversations with people.

It’s fine, they are only clothes and the parents I know wouldn’t blink as their boys have worn similar

My son has got rainbow glitter pink sandals and wears rainbow wellies he is 9 no one cares