To think holidays with kids are SHIT

[Holibollocks]

Caveat: I know we are really really lucky to be able to afford to go on holiday.

But. WTAF??! Why is this so shit?!! Kids are 4 and 8 and this is the first 'big' holiday we've been on. Previously it's always been camping or self catering-didn't go away at all during covid and I'm a nurse so we felt like it was worth splashing out a bit for a half term break and we've gone for an all inclusive thing.

Anyway, we're 2 days in and to be honest it would be easier being at work. Every single tiny little thing they have whinged and moaned and complained and then when I thought they couldn't complain anymore they've somehow managed it. Constant fucking requests that go beyond anything I've experienced with them at home...followed by more whinging. So far it's shit. Expensive shit.

What am I doing wrong?? What is the secret to making this a great holiday?

I agree with everyone about low expectations. I love travelling but we did not travel at all when the Dcs were very young due to money pressures. So when we had our first trip (and AI in Spain) I was beside myself with excitement. It was dreadful. Mainly because I thought we could all go along and see things and go out for dinner and the dcs would absorb everything and relish everything. No.

Does not help that i have a child with a disability so the logistics of travelling can be complicated.

The best ever trip we ever went on was 7 days In Greece. We had no expectations at all. We swam in the pool in the morning and the sea in the afternoon. We ate out twice but mostly just had things on our balcony. The Dcs loved going to the little supermarket and buying strange looking bread rolls and cold meats. We had brought dvds. The children were completely unchallenged and relaxed and played board games while i watched the Thai cave rescue on the television in the pool bar.(This was my overwhelming memory) We ate way too many french fries.

The Dcs still talk of this as the best holiday they have ever had. And it was for me as well.

We are away on holiday atm. I'll admit it hasn't gone to plan but its not been terrible. My son(13) has a sore throat, which he had before we came but wasn't that bad until we came here. The heat and drinking lots of cood drinks made it much worse and the first few days he really struggled. I wanted to do some sight seeing but my 8 year old dd just wasn't letting us lol plus it's a bit hotter than we thought so my husband is struggling to find it comfortable. However the kids have enjoyed the pool, some little activities the reps have put on. dd loves the mini disco and i've enjoyed the nice greek food at the hotel.

I wish I'd have booked a big hotel with proper kids clubs instead but thought we'd be out of the hotel more than we are. Its our last day tomorrow and its supposed to be a couple of degrees cooler, so i hope to go out for at last a few hours then.

Op the biggest problem here is that you sound too tired and burnt out to enjoy your children.

Of course it is possible to have a great time with young children on holiday IF you have the energy to do so, and you have had plenty of time to recharge and relax yourself.

Dh and I used to take it in turns - 2 hours having the dc, whilst the other one relaxed, and then spend the evening together when they were in bed chatting. We had the odd afternoon out. It really worked for us every morning and over lunch. Children nap or relax in the afternoon inside to cool down for a few hours. We could read and rest. Op, this is a holiday for you as well.

You need to relax into it, take some time off and then you will enjoy the time more with your dc.

We have travelled extensively with our two children. I would recommend sticking to a similar routine as you do at home, build in time for each person - including the parents to enjoy the holiday. No child should grow up thinking that parents do not have needs of their own, you will be broken by the time they reach sixteen. Every person counts equally.

Break the day into blocks of time. Two hours each of whatever that person enjoys doing, taking it in turns to parent doing fun stuff with the dc - most importantly away from the other parent so they can mentally check out. You can cycle, rock pool, swim, play games, build dens with towels, read or sing to them. Knowing you will have time to relax at the end makes it very enjoyable to play with dc, because your needs are being met.
Ensure the time is divided up fairly. Build in time to sight see and do something special as a family a few times whilst you were there. Early dinners, early baths and children into bed so parents have the evenings to relax and talk and enjoy a glass of chilled wine.

You follow this format everyone will go home happy, rested and recharged which is the whole point. We don't model to children that parents don't deserve self care and time to rest.

Oh man, I leave in 2 days for our first holiday, with DD 2.5yrs. (AI resort, first I’ve ever done) I will say I have no expectations, other than being around pool/splash pad. We are walking distance to a beach/town area so may go there one morning/day. I’d maybe consider an aquarium type place for day but that will be it. These posts are seriously making me dread it now! Though we do only have 1 child and my DH will be happy to go to pool etc so I hopefully will grab a few peaceful moments. There is a kids club by DH is adamant we shouldn’t use them 🙄 We shall see….

One or two posters are sceptical about taking children round art galleries/museums but it worked for us. Younger DC used to moan a bit about art galleries but he now (as an adult) enjoys going to them on holiday etc. with friends. We used to tell them that nothing is actually boring if you find the right angle/use your imagination - generally when we were going through the pottery bits, which none of us were very interested in. It's a useful life lesson apart form anything else.

Like others, I've never quite understood why you would go on a family holiday and put your children in a kids' club - especially if you have two working parents. We asked ours once or twice if they appealed and they were horrified at the idea - and similarly never liked the idea of PGA type activity holidays - partly a dislike of "organised fun" and partly the concept i.e. being left while the parents did something interesting. I remember one of them being very sceptical about Centre Parcs - why stay (at vast expense) in a hut in a fenced off wood, with rubbish food, when you can go (as we did) to Scotland, walk up mountains for free, see fantastic countryside, go to the sea, visit castles and stay somewhere decent with good food for much less cost?

Like others, I've never quite understood why you would go on a family holiday and put your children in a kids' club - especially if you have two working parents.

I get why , because the children and adults maybe both enjoy it ? I wouldn't have thought they are in the club's 24/7 , I don't use them but I can see why they are used, a couple of hours a day seems fine to me.

See here’s another way for parents to judge each other. THEY are the type of people who can’t wait rid to get rid of their kids to the holiday club (whisper - even when they work long hours every week normally) and they are the types who cannot organise their own holiday and need an in-site entertainment programme and haven’t got the imagination to research in advance and find some worthy and educational activities for everyone to do.

Don’t people just love to judge the parenting of others!

If the holidays you’re choosing aren’t working for you and your family, have a look at the journeys, temperatures, balance within the day. If it’s working, then great - and it seems like with everything else, people just like different things.

It’s as though people think kids clubs are for 24 hours a day...

They can go for an hour or two. You get a break so you can either - relax by the pool and read a book (impossible when supervising younger child), or go do a yoga class, or have a sleep etc etc. There’s still hours and hours left for ‘family time’.

Best invention ever. We can’t use them anymore as our kids are too old but they saved many a holiday when younger. And my sanity. They didn’t even go every day.

And if your children are ‘horrified’ at the idea of doing a few activities such as wind surfing, paddle boarding, tennis, football for a few hours with other kids then they may need to work on their social skills. Mine made loads of friends - tried new activities, gained skills..how awful and irresponsible of us..

Surely kids clubs can help the parents have some special 'alone' time!

@Delatron To be fair, I didn't say they were horrified at the idea of PGA type activities, just didn't like the idea of being put into kennels for organised fun on a family holiday - especially since they could do many of the activities at home in any event. They preferred to make the most of being in a different country (and their social - and sporting - skills were and still are more than adequate). But then when they became adults they and their friends weren't the types to go off to the likes of Ibiza or Zante for drunken binges. Not that there's necessarily a correlation.

Ok, I’ve never known kids clubs to put children in kennels but I guess they vary!

The point is - many are being judgy on here for parents who, shock horror, work full time then ‘put their children in to kids clubs’. That’s a massive sweeping statement.

Using kids clubs - again the terminology here is important not ‘putting kids in kids clubs’, is not the awful parenting choice so many are making out. You aren’t abandoning your children all day every day. They can go for a few hours for a few days just so the parents can actually do something other than supervise and entertain their children.

The judgement on here is awful.

I don’t care really- I loved the kids clubs and more fool those that don’t take advantage!

All our kids wanted of holidays was some water, sand or pebbles, to play in/on/with and space to run about noisily. Take buckets, spades and a football.

They really were not interested in the accommodation, food, weather, or any organised entertainment.

Ours always flatly refused to go to any sort of kids club. My sisters and I hated them too as children. Organised school type weird jolly made up fun on holiday and having to mix with randoms. No thanks! Grim at any age!

I remember one of them being very sceptical about Centre Parcs - why stay (at vast expense) in a hut in a fenced off wood, with rubbish food, when you can go (as we did) to Scotland, walk up mountains for free, see fantastic countryside, go to the sea, visit castles and stay somewhere decent with good food for much less cost

We used to do good holidays in Scotland when ds was small. Although it does involve a lot of driving from place to place - things are a long way apart. I would recommend the Channel Islands to those with smallish kids - very safe, lots to do for all ages (including castles) and nothing is very far away.

I've never been to Centre Parcs.

Yes I don't think my ds would have gone for it either, although he did do kids clubs at our local leisure centre when we were at home.

@Swayingpalmtrees

Whats there to enjoy? The kids sound as if they are behaving unbearably! Squabbling over breakfast choices at the age of 8…there’s nothing enjoyable about that!

No intention of using kids clubs, would rather be together as stressful as it is. I would be worrying about them if they were with folk I am not familiar with.

mumsnetter dont do that kind of thing and especially on holiday. Every second has to be faaaaaamily time! It’s all about the kids. Why did you even have kids if you want to enjoy yourself I. Holiday and do something like have sex

Our DDs never wanted to go to kids clubs on holiday so they weren’t any good to us. They were fairly happy on holidays but we didn’t go anywhere very hot until they were older. We holidayed in U.K. and Brittany in France and self catered so that kept them happy I guess.

As for ‘alone’ time, plenty when they’re asleep!

@Benjispruce4
depends if you have a separate bedroom to the kids

@LuckySantangelo35 as we were self catered not hotel so either a caravan or holiday home. No different to home really.

@Benjispruce4

ah ok, I see.
I would imagine that for those that share a family room a bit of kids club would be essential!