Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Postnatal Ward Hell!

320 replies

Creditcrunch2243 · 27/05/2022 20:09

AIBU to ask if the postnatal word is actually the 7th circle of hell?

On a ward with 4 others. One has been scrolling through songs on their phone for the last two hours only listening to the first 5 seconds of each one. One couple have bought a tv pass and have the One Show on full volume, they are then making video calls over the top of the TV and rowing about why their newborn won't settle (because the poor thing is thinking wtf is all this shouting?). The poor midwives are so understaffed everything is running late, including everyone's painkillers which were due an hour and a half ago. I've had a c section and I'm absolutely boiling and for some reason the heating is on!

Maybe I'm just a grumpy old woman but I'm starting to lose my mind here! Why can't people just be quiet!

OP posts:
ThreeLittleDots · 27/05/2022 23:10

Does everyone have to go to a postnatal ward after you've given birth

Mainly births involving caesarean, forceps etc, or if mum / baby need monitoring or treatment for anything. Otherwise many can be discharged straight from delivery.

Ringmaster27 · 27/05/2022 23:13

In total agreement with you.
My postnatal ward experience with DC1 was hellish. Very much as you’ve described - loud, busy, midwives so rushed off their feet thag they can’t possibly deliver the standard of care they want to be able to deliver, frazzled and exhausted new mums, babies wondering “why the fuck am I in this fish bowl and not in the warm, cosy place I was in for all that time?” - special circle of hell describes it perfectly. And it’s one of many reasons I chose to have DCs 2 & 3 and home!
Hope you manage to get a bit of rest and get home soon OP! 🖤

ThreeLittleDots · 27/05/2022 23:15

To add, nobody HAS TO go onto postnatal, anyone can decline or discharge themselves for any or no reason, unless under special court order for mental capacity reasons.

rickandmorts · 27/05/2022 23:17

ThreeLittleDots · 27/05/2022 23:15

To add, nobody HAS TO go onto postnatal, anyone can decline or discharge themselves for any or no reason, unless under special court order for mental capacity reasons.

Okay thank you, that's helpful. Do still want to discuss the possibility of a homebirth with my midwife for a few different reasons. But if I do end up in hospital I'll definitely be discharging myself as soon as I'm able to!

Apollonia1 · 27/05/2022 23:18

Nat6999 · 27/05/2022 23:03

I was deeply jealous of my friend who had a C section, one night in the hospital it was done in then transferred to the cottage hospital near where she lived where she had a family room with a double bed, fridge, kettle, microwave, sofa, television & her husband could stay with her. She was allowed to stay a week & every room had French doors, a patio to sit out on & gardens to take a walk in, apparently the food was all home cooked, the veg were grown in the hospital allotments & the chef was from a posh hotel, they got morning coffee & cake, afternoon tea & there was a drinks trolley where new mums were encouraged to have a sherry or Guiness to get there strength back, she went home with a suntan.

That sounds amazing!

I had a c-section and then spent 5 days in a single room. The nurses took the twins every night, so I got a full nights sleep. Then brought the babies back in the morning, and when breakfast came, they took them away again, so I could eat in peace. The food was amazing; I didn't want to leave! Felt so cosseted.

It's terrible that some mums have such a terrible start. It must lead to PND in some cases. I think every mum should have a private room. It's not normal to have to share a bedroom with a load of noisy strangers, especially not after a significant life event.

Undertheash · 27/05/2022 23:19

Greenqueen40 · 27/05/2022 22:57

Wow aren't you a delightful snob

Show quote history

That’s not being a snob, it’s being normal and having respectable standards for God’s sake.

ThreeLittleDots · 27/05/2022 23:20

It's terrible that some mums have such a terrible start. It must lead to PND in some cases. I think every mum should have a private room. It's not normal to have to share a bedroom with a load of noisy strangers, especially not after a significant life event

Exactly this. It's disgusting.

sjxoxo · 27/05/2022 23:20

Sounds hell op you have my sympathies!! I live in France & was v grateful for their maternity system which is private rooms! Headphones are your friend Xx

TicTac80 · 27/05/2022 23:23

I really sympathise!!! With DS, I was on my own (the other mums had partners/husbands), and also the youngest mum there by a good few years. Ex had walked while I was pregnant and I wasn’t in the greatest place. I was breastfeeding and wasn’t allowed to have curtains closed as they wanted to keep an eye (not nice doing that with people gawping). It was useful that I worked there as I did know some of the staff, so it didn’t always feel lonely (the dads/partners/spouses could stay all day but other visitors were only allowed in for an hour in the afternoon - I wasn’t allowed anyone to sit with me in place of my ex). It’s funny, you’re on an open ward, surrounded by people yet can feel so lonely. I’ve never forgotten it and it’s something that makes me very mindful in my practice (I’m a Ward Sister - nurse though, not MW).

Second time, I had my own room on the postnatal ward. Much easier/more privacy but my now XH fucked off “to celebrate” with friends the night DD was born and was incommunicado until about 5pm
the next day. There was a Z bed he could have slept in, but no. Twat (I sure knew how to pick them, eh?). If I’d had the car keys, I would have bloody well have taken myself home. It was so embarrassing having wait around for him to show up and take me and DD home!

Hopefully you can have a speedy recovery and get discharged soon. I’m really glad you got moved to somewhere quieter. Please put in something to PALS, saying nice things about the lovely midwife who helped you (it will be a nice thing to balance out the fuckwittery of Shitty Man). I hope you manage to get a decent sleep. Xx

FWIW, Matrons are still very much around, as are Sisters. I will speak up if people are being disruptive/upsetting my patients (and if TV or music is too loud!) but it can be a diplomatic minefield.

Johnnysgirl · 27/05/2022 23:24

Undertheash · 27/05/2022 23:19

That’s not being a snob, it’s being normal and having respectable standards for God’s sake.

Show quote history

Yes, but only for those deserving of such standards. Apparently.

Aaaabbbcccc · 27/05/2022 23:28

PurpleButterflyWings · 27/05/2022 20:17

Must say I am surprised at you being on the main ward the after a c-section. When did you have it? I had c-sections both times, and was in a little side ward for 4-5 days after.

in the UK???

DorritLittle · 27/05/2022 23:33

It must lead to PND in some cases.

I am certain that my postnatal ward experience triggered mine.

notacooldad · 27/05/2022 23:38

I anticipated this would happen when I had mine. I booked a private room in advance. There was the understanding that it may not be available as someone in need may require it but if it was free I could use it and pay for it. Both times it was free and it was brilliant!

DorritLittle · 27/05/2022 23:40

being treated like an inconvenience for daring to ask where the toilets where,where the tea machine was,anything at all

Me too!

outshinethemorningsun · 27/05/2022 23:46

PurpleButterflyWings · 27/05/2022 20:17

Must say I am surprised at you being on the main ward the after a c-section. When did you have it? I had c-sections both times, and was in a little side ward for 4-5 days after.

my local hospital about 45% of births are c-sections so going on half of all the women!

earsup · 27/05/2022 23:52

I visited a friend...cubicle opposite full with about 10 or 12 family members...some were smoking...mother looked about 12 or 14....normal to be married at that age for this group ...emptied the entire trolley with the free drinks and biscuits into carrier bags....social workers and a translator trying to make the family stop smoking and find out more about the mother and father of the child...total chaos...!!...security hovered but did nothing...!!

Ownedbymycats · 27/05/2022 23:58

Awful places, some of the experiences never leave you.

Queenie24 · 27/05/2022 23:58

Wow things really have got bad. I had my first 21 years ago. I was on the ward for a week before due to preeclampsia then had an emergency c section. 1st night I was still in the delivery room as it was late and no where else for me to go but DH was not allowed to stay. I was left totally alone unable to move and no buzzer to call for help. Then I went on the ward for 24 hours and then transferred to my local midwife led unit where I had to stay for a further 3 days. It was lovely here. 2nd was a c section at a different hospital and they had post natal wards for c sections where there were more midwife’s so there was always one available, they did everything even changed the baby and passed him to me to feed etc. I was on there for the first 48 hours due to having a blood transfusion. But then went in normal post natal ward for a further 24 hours. Then we moved to Wales and my 3rd I discharged myself 48 hours after and I don’t really remember much of the stay. I had a lovely midwife who came to see me at home everyday. My youngest who is now 16 was the worst in some respects, I organised a transfer to my local hospital after the c section, the midwife spent longer complaining to my husband about the lack of staff and being so busy than she did doing my paperwork so I could leave, then I went to local hospital in my own room for a few days. Only thing with that they put me in a room next to the delivery room which meant every time someone came in I heard everything and also could not use the bathroom. It was quite upsetting as I had to have c sections.

DashboardConfessional · 28/05/2022 00:02

They are awful. I was moved after 1 night to our local birthing centre for another night for breastfeeding help, which was literally me and 3 midwives (2 more women gave birth that day but went straight home). It was absolute bliss and I'm gutted for the women round here that it no longer operates.

Truenorthmum · 28/05/2022 00:05

You are not wrong OP, I had a cat1 section in 2020. They shipped me off to postnatal alone and half naked, slipping in and out of consciousness and unable to move fro..my shoulders down and left me alone with no buzzer and a baby on me. That was basically how it went for 3 days, no painkillers on time, buzzers ignored, I had to do absolutely everything myself including changing my bed, left in bloody sheets for two days, no food or drink for hours despite not having eaten for days by that point due to induction and got told off for changing my baby on my bed, I used it because I physically couldn't bend over the crib and the bed moved up.

Women constantly on speakerphone, playing TV shows at volume one million, one woman would play prayer songs all night long, so many women sobbing alone when their babies were taken for lumbar punctures without warning. My baby cried and cried because no one helped me breastfeed and he was hungry but no one answered the buzzer to get milk.

They are the seventh circle of hell for sure.

Congratulations on your new addition and I hope you both escape soon!

9nine · 28/05/2022 00:06

Another one in the minority here, but I enjoyed the postnatal wards! I like being around people chatting to them etc. Yeah there have been the odd few annoying ones, but nothing that bad. I’ve had 9 babies and my youngest is 5 so don’t have really recent experience so may be a lot different now, but I much preferred being on the ward around people.
My youngest was born at 36 weeks so needed extra monitoring, we went to the postnatal ward afterwards then the following day I was told I was being moved to a room of my own, I said I didn’t want to I wanted to stay on the ward but had no choice, they said I’d enjoy the peace! I hated it, I don’t do quiet! 36 weekers sleep loads so I fed him every 3 hrs or so, then had to sit there bored the rest of the time. 2 and half days of that and I couldn’t wait to leave and not be alone! I also had a room of my own after my 6th was born but that was only for 24 hrs so not as bad.
The heating though omg they’re always so hot aren’t they! I remember sitting under a fan to get my temp down after my 4th was born, it was hottest day of the year and they had still had the heating on and I couldn’t be discharged so they gave me a fan to get my temp down!

Zingy123 · 28/05/2022 00:13

I'm still traumatised from my time there years later. I was in for 5 days with DC1 and 8 days with DC2 both caesareans. Not enough midwives and the ones that were there were constantly with those choosing to breastfeed. I got no sleep due to the constant noise.

FreyaStorm · 28/05/2022 00:14

littlepeas · 27/05/2022 21:07

I think I must be a total weirdo as I quite enjoyed the postnatal ward and asked not to be put in a side room! I've had 3 babies, all by c section and 2-3 night stays, so it can't just be down to luck! I didn't particularly interact with those around me, but I liked the gentle buzz of a recent shared experience.

You are one of the lucky ones! Must be somewhere like Cornwall?

Booklover3 · 28/05/2022 00:19

Hmm. First was a planned csection as she was feet first and wouldn’t turn. I was on some kind of post csection ward for 24 hours. I was then moved to a normal ward which I don’t remember but I was only there for half a day before I was discharged. It was a lovely experience.

my second was an emergency C-section after Labour failed to progress. After the first 24 hours on a normal ward when they told me I would be there for the next six days I had a panic attack because I was just so tired. I just couldn’t process what they were saying. The woman just left me there hyperventilating on my own baffled and terribly worried. Unfortunately they told me well before visiting hours. I Called my husband in a right state. He came in and found out it was okay and just a precaution but our baby needed antibiotics. They very kindly moved me to my own room. I wouldn’t have coped on a proper ward with no sleep for another six days… and I was just too tired to be able to understand what was happening. Baby had only been born the night before at 10pm, they kicked my husband out at 11pm and I was exhausted.

Two completely different births… if I have another baby ever then they’ve already told me I’ll need a csection. Planned all the way!

Nat6999 · 28/05/2022 00:20

thevanilla she was the woman who was in the room next to me who was having her baby removed in to care. I felt sorry for her at first but after seeing the way she behaved, throwing water jugs at the staff, shouting & swearing, her partner bringing her bottles of alcohol, the security staff were called several times when she was kicking off & eventually the staff weren't allowed to go in the room alone which meant other mums weren't getting the care they needed. After that I just felt sorry for her baby being born in to that chaos.