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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Anyone else here who doesn’t believe in love?

129 replies

AllAloneInThisHouse · 27/05/2022 12:46

And I mean now more of the partnership, committed, romantic (not sexual) love.

Don’t start listing how you love your kids or nature.

I mean the, I choose you, let’s share this life together - what other people - kind of love.

Is that even real?

OP posts:
38woman · 27/05/2022 12:48

Its real

HereIAmBrainTheSizeOfAPlanet · 27/05/2022 12:49

People believe different things to you. Shocker.

tonystarksrighthand · 27/05/2022 12:51

I agree with you OP. I have conditioned myself to never ever participate in romance again.

That's me thou.

Everyone else seems happy with it and that's fine too!

ImInStealthMode · 27/05/2022 12:54

Not to be a cliche but I doubted it until I met DP.

VWCV · 27/05/2022 12:54

It is real.

Fuuuuuckit · 27/05/2022 12:55

It's real. Proper all-encompassing I want to share every moment of my life with you.

Some women have never had orgasms either. Just wait... 😉

slightlysnippy · 27/05/2022 12:57

'Don't believe in love' what a weird statement, of course love exists. Been with my husband 22 years and love him to bits.

I'm sorry you've not found the right person,

PrawnofthePatriarchy · 27/05/2022 12:59

It's real. And when you find it It's wonderful.

EmmaH2022 · 27/05/2022 13:02

OP
If I remove the word "romantic" then I think I do. Like a friendship love?

EBearhug · 27/05/2022 13:02

Some women have never had orgasms either. Just wait...

You don't need live for that, though.

MoodyTwo · 27/05/2022 13:05

I believe you can love someone enough to spend your life with them
I am perfectly happy in my own company and single however
My DH is my best friend , he's the one person in the world I can talk to about anything
Is that love or friendship? I don't know

Spitescreen · 27/05/2022 13:56

I don’t think it’s a matter of ‘belief’, but I think that, looking at it from a historical and/or multicultural perspective, it’s clear that our idea of ‘romantic love’ is a fairly modern and culture -specific phenomenon, and yoking it to lifelong monogamy is not some kind of timeless truth either.

tiggergoesbounce · 27/05/2022 14:04

Yes i am a big believer in love, i am in love with my husband and hope it stays like that forever.

Do i think you can fall out of love, absolutely.

GooglyEyeballs · 27/05/2022 14:10

It is 100% real

MelonsMelonsMelons · 27/05/2022 14:11

Yeah, of course it’s real, I feel it every day.

What isn’t real is the Disney-style perfect romance, swept off your feet, “the one” bollocks.

Original poster
AllAloneInThisHouse · 27/05/2022 14:12

HereIAmBrainTheSizeOfAPlanet · 27/05/2022 12:49

People believe different things to you. Shocker.

Thanks for the attitude.
That’s why I asked.

OP posts:
Scabbyknackers · 27/05/2022 14:13

Definitely real but I haven't found the lifelong 'one'. I believe you can love many times.

Aposterhasnoname · 27/05/2022 14:13

By saying you don’t believe in it you’re saying everyone who claims to have that with their partner is a liar. You haven’t found it, fine, some people have, and that’s wonderful for them. Stop trying to piss on their chips.

WDTABNONONO · 27/05/2022 14:14

I think there's love and then there is in love isn't there?

I believe in love as I've seen it in others I just think my minds been messed with too many times to truly let myself feel that drowning love people speak of.

I do love my DH though in the I couldn't stand anything bad to happen to him, father of my kids type of love.

missingeu · 27/05/2022 14:19

It's real and comes in many forms and duration.

Northernshepherd · 27/05/2022 14:22

I believe in love, I don't believe in "in love"

Original poster
AllAloneInThisHouse · 27/05/2022 14:28

Aposterhasnoname · 27/05/2022 14:13

By saying you don’t believe in it you’re saying everyone who claims to have that with their partner is a liar. You haven’t found it, fine, some people have, and that’s wonderful for them. Stop trying to piss on their chips.

I did not think anyone would take that way.
Let alone if they are so lucky they have found love, would actually be offended.

OP posts:
Original poster
AllAloneInThisHouse · 27/05/2022 14:30

Northernshepherd · 27/05/2022 14:22

I believe in love, I don't believe in "in love"

Do you mind to elaborate @Northernshepherd?
I don’t think I understand the difference….

OP posts:
Harrietjanet · 27/05/2022 14:32

I believe in love, I don't believe in "in love"

I think similarly. 'In love' in my opinion is just temporary or possibly sexual attraction.

I think there's something in what you say though OP. Though maybe it's me who finds it difficult, and I've always felt bemusement at having love, or in love, declared to me, though I've been careful to conceal that.

Irishfarmer · 27/05/2022 14:36

From your user name are you a bit lonely and worried love doesn't really exist? I think it does, I love my DH. I can't (and don't want to) imagine my life without him. Bucket I know but he really really is my best friend. I trust him implicitly and I never want to be with another man.