To think working TTO has screwed me over a bit?

[soapywaters]

I work TTO and for a long time believed this would be brilliant when I had my own family as wouldn’t have to worry about wraparound care.

The problem is in reality I’m starting to see it will translate as literally never having a break as either I will have my own children or be at work.

I get that as my own family grows this will not be such an issue but AIBU to think TTO isn’t as great as it sounds?

I will have my own children or be at work.

Would this not be the same either way though?

What is TTO please?

Well, it’s not for DH as he can take a day of leave whenever and actually have a day off. Not all the time of course but I can’t do that!

But I do take your point - just wondering if something part time throughout the year might suit me better and make things more equal? Not sure.

Seconded

Sorry - term time only

Ah thanks

I good, but couldn't find that

I can’t think of many scenarios where this wouldn’t be the case

Is it term time only? (Guess)

Do you have your own kids yet? Do you know how much childcare costs? Yes it's hard to never get a break from your own kids. But there's lots of other people in the same boat who are also forking out 90% of their salaries on childcare too.

This is exactly why I’d never want to work TTO. No flexibility about time off, plus a financial hit on top. Between us, Dh and I easily manage the school holidays with a mix of AL and holiday club, plus we still have AL left over for individual holidays or days off without dc. And even with holiday club costs, we are better off financially.

Ah, it's another DH issue then actually.

What needs to happen to make it fair then is your DH uses his leave to cover holidays. Like everyone else has to.

Full time, TTO is an absolute bastard imo.

I did it for 5 years but had to take a sabbatical and ultimately leave as there was no flexibility whatsoever and my elderly parents needed support as my dad was on end of life care throughout the pandemic.

I've just been offered a new job...30 hours a week AYR with flexible working and a carers policy.

I am so relieved to be out of that working situation.

I think it’s fairly typical that working parents are either working or doing childcare, unless their DP babysits in the evenings/they get a babysitter in.

Until recently that was my situation and I saved my annual leave for the holidays. The only people who weren’t in that situation had part time jobs/ were SAHPs and some childcare.

@mindutopia the lack of flexibility is so difficult, everything - any medical appointments, haircuts and so on - need to be crammed into holiday time. I’m not joking, I never feel like I have a holiday!

The majority of people have to use their holiday to cover half term breaks, inset days, illness and then family holidays. By and large people aren’t able to just use them all for their own enjoyment while their kids are at school so I don’t think you’re in a massively different boat.

If you’re working term time only, presumably when your children are young, they’ll be in childcare during the term time and will be in the school holidays too as nursery seldom have term times unless they’re attached to a school? So you’d send the children in as usual thus getting a break. Then when they’re older, you could always send them in for a day or two a week for holiday club which will be a lot cheaper than paying for childcare for the entire duration of the school holidays.

TBH I have no idea what your issue even is? This is part and parcel of being a parent, is it not?

Do you not still get leave with TTO? Unless you work in a school which is only work during term time but isn’t actually TTO (as strange as that sounds!) TTO only means you only work say 10 months but you still get leave for those 10 months while not working during school holidays or is it just all your leave is arranged for school holidays and you still get paid 12 months?

I don’t know if I’ve explained that well but i hope you get it! if your leave is all arranged for school holidays then your husband should be taking the odd day so you can have a break.

Cross post

I haven't got kids but from what others have said term time only posts are like gold dust, and you're lucky to have one. It must be a nightmare covering childcare in school holidays otherwise.

Surely being at work or having the kids is part and parcel of being a working parent? Unless you're not with their dad and he has them part of the time 'thems the rules'!

No you are right OP, I don’t work TTO, just a regular mon to fri 9-5 type scenario but it’s very flexible and I can either take a little bit of flexi / toil or a holiday day if I want to.
That day is then my own, kids are in nursery / school and I’ve got time to myself to either sort house / DIY or even just have a lazy self care day.

Obviously anyone with kids can’t do this often as you generally need your holiday allowance for school holidays but of course the difference is that working TTO you cannot ever do this and don’t even have the choice.

My DH works in education and is the same as you, very rarely gets any proper time to himself. It’s either work or kids. Very rare to get a quiet day.

Pros and cons- you don’t have to pay the extortionate nursery / childcare costs when you’re TTO but it offers zero flexibility for time off in the school week.

I'm about to start TTO and think it will be brilliant..if I want a day or two "off" during school holidays there are plenty of holiday clubs DC would enjoy and I alsi fully expect DH to use some of his annual leave when needed.

Well your choice is between -

-TTO, working and doing your own childcare ( which you can enjoy, you know)
or
-LIKE MOST OF US - working, doing the majority of the childcare and paying through the nose for the 9 weeks of school holidays your annual leave won't cover. Plus the joy of working out in January what leave and holiday clubs you will require. Plus the joy of wondering how you are going to work around a holiday club that runs from 9.30am to 3.30pm when you work 9 to 5.

Certainly from reception to year 8, TTO is a huge bonus. I would have chosen that if only for the pleasure of having Christmas Eve off with my children every year.

Put your kids in the odd day of summer school activities and you’ll be fine. Also, a lot of nurseries won’t do TTO contracts so you can utilise that over the summer holidays for a few days/hours off.

I think it’s fairly typical that working parents are either working or doing childcare, unless their DP babysits in the evenings/they get a babysitter in.

Indeed it is for the most part. I managed to arrange to do my hobbies and socialise with friends and considered that my break I think. DH similar.

Of course it's easier when DC is older.

@Oinkypig - sorry, I do work in a school so I’ve used the incorrect term (and I was thinking I was using a cool phrase! )

@Sluj we might finish around half 3 but it doesn’t mean we can magically get to our own childrens schools! Wraparound care is still needed for teachers’ / TAs children, unless you go PT and compress the days.

Agreeing also that parents arranging enough of their annual leave to cover holidays adequately (it doesn't) can be a headache. Hence the summer schools and other childcare arrangements needed to be made.