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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I’m 33 and I’ve never had a smear test

313 replies

Spacehopp · 26/05/2022 10:31

I’ve got a 3 year old son, but I had a c-section with him that I chose to have as I’m so scared of things being put inside me (I don’t mean a penis obviously, but ‘instruments’)

I refused all internal examinations while I was pregnant too.

So apart from sex and my mooncup I use every month when I’m on my period, I’ve not had anything put inside me or had a medical professional’s fingers etc in there.
The thought makes me feel physically ill.

I keep getting letters about the smear and just throwing them in the bin. I feel embarrassed about it. But I also think if men had to go through this kind of invasive procedure, they would have come up with something else by now.

OP posts:
DogsAndGin · 26/05/2022 13:19

I am the same in the sense that I am horrified by things being put inside me - I can’t even use tampons.

If you can use a mooncup, maybe you can stand a smear test. It’s literally over in a few seconds and could save your life.

ChagSameachDoreen · 26/05/2022 13:20

If you get cervical cancer you'll have to have a lot more medical implements up there than just a smear wand.

sarahj878 · 26/05/2022 13:22

Please get a smear test.

Someone I know had similar fears and was able to get medication to help her through it and able to take someone with her for support. You could try to listen to music to zone out as much as possible whilst it’s being done.

It may be traumatic but the possible consequences of not getting one could be far more traumatic for you and your loved ones.

sarahj878 · 26/05/2022 13:25

Also ask for the smallest speculum there is. And tell a professional how you feel. They will listen and if they don’t tell another health professional until you get one who listens and helps you feel comfortable. They will have heard it before I almost guarantee you.

JemimaPuddlegoose · 26/05/2022 13:29

I've never had one either, albeit I've ever had sex.

It really is systemic misogyny. The only test you need, medically, is to look for the presence of HPV cells, and you can do that very easily with an at home test.

Youdoyoutoday · 26/05/2022 13:47

My thing is to remember Jade Goody, if she'd had it done, she might still be with her children.

Also another thing that 'makes' me do unwanted tests is my uncle wouldn't do the poo test that comes in the post, ignored it for ages thinking it wouldn't apply to him or whatever. He now has a colostomy bag and been given 3 years to live.

These examples are extreme, I know, but I'd rather be uncomfortable for a couple of minutes than miss an early diagnosis of something that could leave my kids without me.

Discovereads · 26/05/2022 13:58

But I also think if men had to go through this kind of invasive procedure, they would have come up with something else by now.

They do? They get swabs up their penis/urethra and for prostate cancer exams they get fingers inserted in their anus.

I think you should get smear tests but it is your choice and risk to take.

Etinoxaurus · 26/05/2022 14:00

RosieLeeD · 26/05/2022 12:29

Sorry to be blunt but if you get cervical cancer you will likely require a lot more invasive procedures than a smear test.

So my advice is grit your teeth and get it done

Word! 💪

chiickenandmayosandwich · 26/05/2022 14:02

OP- you are obviously posting because you are not secure in your decision. Take the advice on this post and book an appointment.

Discovereads · 26/05/2022 14:02

JemimaPuddlegoose · 26/05/2022 13:29

I've never had one either, albeit I've ever had sex.

It really is systemic misogyny. The only test you need, medically, is to look for the presence of HPV cells, and you can do that very easily with an at home test.

Actually, not all cervical cancer is caused by HPV. Most of it is, but not all. I am concerned that the smear tests now are just HPV tests as that won’t catch all cancer cases. I don’t know how a life saving health care test could be called “misogyny”, surely not doing smear tests and just letting women die of cancer would be misogyny?

chiickenandmayosandwich · 26/05/2022 14:07

JemimaPuddlegoose · 26/05/2022 13:29

I've never had one either, albeit I've ever had sex.

It really is systemic misogyny. The only test you need, medically, is to look for the presence of HPV cells, and you can do that very easily with an at home test.

Misogyny?

Or a test to detect cancer early and therefore potentially avoid death?

Hmm

Never heard anything so ridiculous.

Everyone is free to make their own choices about their body, but what utter drivel.

BearBibble · 26/05/2022 14:20

OP I work in women's health. I won't add to the stories of people who've had cervical cancer discovered too late, though I can think of a few. I will echo the advice of a PP who said to request the smallest speculum they have. I also sometimes ask very anxious patients if they would prefer to insert the speculum themselves and I then rotate it into position - perhaps you could request the same?

HesterShaw1 · 26/05/2022 14:21

Op statistically it's overwhelming likely that your test will be clear. So imagine the relief when you have done it.

I didn't have one until 34 either. I was full of nameless fears. But I had to have one to progress with assisted conception. I've had four since and they have all been fine. The last one I barely felt to be honest, and the letter said the HPV result was clear.

ChloeHel · 26/05/2022 14:22

Why bring men into it? They have to have their prostates examined.

Anyway, one of my close friends who’s 30 put hers off until last year, they found positive HPV cells. Get it done, then it’s over and done with. Google ways to cope with an examination, I’m sure there are lots of coping mechanisms you could use during it.

hrariell · 26/05/2022 14:26

Why bring men into it? They have to have their prostates examined.

There isn't a national screening programme for prostate cancer.

doadeer · 26/05/2022 14:26

It's not a lovely experience but please do it. I had my first one at 29 and they did find abnormal cells which could become cancerous. I had to have them removed. Not to scare you but if I'd waited and put it off it could have been much worse.

ChloeHel · 26/05/2022 14:32

hrariell · 26/05/2022 14:26

Why bring men into it? They have to have their prostates examined.

There isn't a national screening programme for prostate cancer.

Regardless, they also go through uncomfortable situations for the well-being of health. No need to bring men into it.

Sidge · 26/05/2022 14:45

It’s not misogyny, what a load of tripe.

99.7% of cervical cancer is caused by high risk HPV (HR-HPV).

Cervical screening is now, in most areas of the UK, done by primary HPV screening. The goal is to move towards home HR-HPV screening done by a vaginal swab or urine sample but they still need to gather evidence and efficacy outcomes of primary HPV screening before they can roll it out. We’re getting there but the wheels turn slowly and thoroughly.

In the meantime one can do a home swab privately and if positive make an appointment for a smear.

LikeAStar1994 · 26/05/2022 15:13

These type of threads never go well. According to MN anybody who chooses not to go for a smear test are suddenly the most selfish people in the world. It doesn't matter if it was agony last time. They should be damn well grateful that the NHS offers this for free, right?

I guess the term "Your body, your choice" is a load of shit then.

bakewellbride · 26/05/2022 15:15

What's the plan then op? Ignore the letters forever? You need a way forward. Do it for your health especially now that u have a child.

Thewomeninthemirror · 26/05/2022 15:20

If I had ignored mine, I’d be dead. If you leave it too late and god forbid they find something then they will be up there a lot more.

as for the hpv test…. I’m negative but still needed a complete hysterectomy.

GreatStuff67 · 26/05/2022 16:08

If it helps at OP, I've had three smear tests. Each time the nurse was lovely. One time it was a bit uncomfortable, but only because I was holding in a fart 😂. Certainly not painful though. The other two times it wasn't even uncomfortable. I know some women find it sore, but I just wanted to say it is possible to have a smear and it be completely fine. You might find this too. It's a really quick thing as well. Honestly, most of the time is chatting to the nurses, and even then I've always been in and out in max ten minutes. If you don't want to feel rushed though, you can probably just talk to the nurse about a longer appointment.

Have you tried anything to help you with your fear of instruments being inside you? Do you know what about it it is you're scared of? As plenty of others have said, it's a free procedure that can save your life, so it's sensible to go, but being told that is one thing. Maybe the first thing to broach is your fear in general, rather than specifically focussing on smear tests? Just a thought (though it doesn't sound that helpful reading it back 😅). I hope you find something that helps and you feel able to go along.

ThreeLittleDots · 26/05/2022 16:17

During lockdown, whilst screening wasn't being offered at my practice and I was overdue my cervical check, I bought a test kit online and swabbed myself for HPV, as smears are no longer routinely offered.

www.letsgetchecked.co.uk/home-hpv-test

Yummymummy2020 · 26/05/2022 16:26

I also struggle so much with these after a traumatic birth with my two kids. The only way I manage is for my doctor to do it as for whatever reason I feel more calm with her. I guess she has looked after me for years and helped a lot with the bad births. I’m going to be stuck if she ever leaves as I can’t get my head around someone else doing it. I wonder have you anyone you feel the same way about such as your gp? Mine wouldn’t normally do them but given my history she does it for me. I completely understand the fear and feeling of panic at the thought of it. I used to get them before the kids and they were absolutely fine, never hurt me so bar the traumatic births I have no need to fear them. I’m planning to get therapy to help me with the fear and anxiety of it as I dread if I have any other reason I need to be checked down there and my doctor not be available.

ladydimitrescu · 26/05/2022 16:29

I can't believe some of the replies on this thread.
The amount of invasive procedures you'd need if you got cervical cancer would be a hell of a lot more than a smear test.
They aren't done for fun - it can literally save your life.

This has reminded me to book mine so thank you - and I urge anyone else due one to do the same 👍