Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I’m 33 and I’ve never had a smear test

313 replies

Spacehopp · 26/05/2022 10:31

I’ve got a 3 year old son, but I had a c-section with him that I chose to have as I’m so scared of things being put inside me (I don’t mean a penis obviously, but ‘instruments’)

I refused all internal examinations while I was pregnant too.

So apart from sex and my mooncup I use every month when I’m on my period, I’ve not had anything put inside me or had a medical professional’s fingers etc in there.
The thought makes me feel physically ill.

I keep getting letters about the smear and just throwing them in the bin. I feel embarrassed about it. But I also think if men had to go through this kind of invasive procedure, they would have come up with something else by now.

OP posts:
rocketfromthecrypt · 26/05/2022 11:07

I haven't had one in years. I'm not scared, I just don't particularly like them and don't care about dying. I don't want to live to an old age getting more and more decrepit on a planet which is being destroyed so if I get cancer then so be it.

Cervinia · 26/05/2022 11:08

My dearest friend had one at 36, she had had them regularly prior to that.

Long story short she ended up with a full pelvic exenteration and has no bladder, womb, vagina and only part of her bowel. But she’s alive and it’s 20 years since her diagnosis of cervical cancer, please please take a deep breath, it’s over in minutes and nothing to be frightened of. No one likes it but it has to be done.

yikesanotherbooboo · 26/05/2022 11:08

I would ask at your practice for an appointment with the nurse who does smears so that you can talk this through and form a relationship with them ( usually her).After that you may or may not feel ready and of course it is your prerogative to decline a smear.At the same time it is a fairly simple test that detects cervical cancer before it invades you so well worth having.
As per PPs it may be that a HPV test self administered will come in as screening which would obviate the need for smear if it was negative.I am just not sure that this is secure as yet as a screening test.You could make enquiries at your local sexual health clinic.

SirenSays · 26/05/2022 11:09

You can opt out so you don't have to keep throwing the letters away.

Naunet · 26/05/2022 11:10

I’m 40, only ever had one, and now I can no longer ask for a female nurse and actually be guaranteed a female, I won’t be having any more.

Hibye23289 · 26/05/2022 11:13

My friend died a year ago yesterday from cervical cancer that ended up coming back and spreading. She went for her smears, unfortunately this was an unlucky and sad situation, she left behind 2 children.

You will have a penis inside you for pleasure and a moon cup to catch blood but but not a 10 second procedure to potentially save your life, what about your son? I honestly think people need to grow up if they're not doing it through fear of it hurting or being uncomfortable I think the treatment for cancer that you can prevent is far worse than a smear test let alone the pain it would cause your fanily

mumof23188 · 26/05/2022 11:13

I had my very first one today at the age of 34! I’ve had 3 children but the thought of a smear was terrifying. I went to the sexual health clinic for mine as the GP had a huge waiting list. It was honestly fine and I’m so pleased I’ve had it done. I get your fear because nobody enjoys anything like that but you can do it.

Hibye23289 · 26/05/2022 11:14

...oh and my friend was 33

Ariela · 26/05/2022 11:16

My lovely friend, I worked with her for years, had cervical cancer aged about 33. Luckily this was picked up by a smear test, but it had spread. Sadly she lost her ovaries too and had a hysterectomy so couldn't have her planned 2nd child. At the 5 year check up further cancer (related) was found, and she lost her life after a horrid 3 year battle which totally devastated her body. Awful.

As @SlashBeef says Please explain your nervousness to your surgery, ask to speak to the nurse at your surgery and get her to show you the procedure and instruments used, then book an appointment, it truly ISN'T awful and could save your life.

LovelaceBiggWither · 26/05/2022 11:18

I avoided having one for 2 decades. I eventually did the test at home which showed abnormal cells. I am fine now after a radical hysterectomy but I am so so so lucky.

Clarinet1 · 26/05/2022 11:20

OP, I can’t say smears are the
most pleasant experience ever but how does it compare with possibly dying young from a cancer which can be detected before it fully develops and has a good success rate with treatment? I know which I choose. You obviously do have real concerns but I second those who say to talk to the professionals. May be even some kind of counselling or therapy would help? You don’t have to tell us but maybe your concerns are rooted in earlier experiences, perhaps in childhood.

Merryclaire · 26/05/2022 11:22

I do also dread them so can understand. I had a bad experience with one (due to nurse’s behaviour) and it put me off for years, but then I thought about how much more invasive it would be if I actually developed cancer. So I went back, had a much nicer nurse this time, and was just so glad to get it out the way with.
No one likes them, but it’s much better than the alternative.
If you really can’t bear it, then go down the route of the HPV test, which a PP explained, is what they test for before examining for abnormal cells.

Furrbabymama87 · 26/05/2022 11:23

It's one of the downsides of being a woman along with pregnancy and childbirth. It's unavoidable though if you want to protect your health. They have never been painful for me, maybe a slight discomfort but it only lasts a minute or so. The speculum that goes inside is very small and slim, much smaller than a penis.

TheDuchessOfMN · 26/05/2022 11:24

The replies are harsh, but I think they’re needed.

Just picture your son growing up without his mum because you didn’t go for your smear test.

I agree about the therapy, or perhaps the GP can prescribe something to take before it

WombatNo12 · 26/05/2022 11:27

We have a great practice nurse, who only does smears, so it very good at them. She gave me a hug after the last one, such a nice woman.

I'm pretty relaxed, so I tend not to feel anything.

I'd tackle your anxiety first, then have a smear. The at home swab thing is a good idea. My smear wasn't checked as I don't have the virus.

Notimeforaname · 26/05/2022 11:33

Oh wow. I'm 35 and have never had one. Women in my life get very upset with me and keep asking me to get one. I seriously thought I was one of the only ones.

I keep.saying I'll do it...I'll go 🙄

Ive to get a mammogram in 2 weeks, I was showing my male partner and friend what the machine looks like and how it works. Barbaric is what they said. I hate our tests are so invasive and painful.

Ugzbugz · 26/05/2022 11:33

Just look at jade goody. If you do get late cervical cancer etc you will have much more inside you than a tiny swab.
It takes literally seconds.

And gynae doctors can be male to so not sure people can refuse surgery from them if you are at risk of death.

Hallyup89 · 26/05/2022 11:34

I watched the 34 year old mum of another child in my daughter's class go through treatment for cervical cancer. She didn't survive. It's an extremely important examination to have, and tbh, I find it very difficult to understand why someone is happy to have a penis up there but not a speculum and swab. There's no fingers involved.

JanisMoplin · 26/05/2022 11:35

Notimeforaname · 26/05/2022 11:33

Oh wow. I'm 35 and have never had one. Women in my life get very upset with me and keep asking me to get one. I seriously thought I was one of the only ones.

I keep.saying I'll do it...I'll go 🙄

Ive to get a mammogram in 2 weeks, I was showing my male partner and friend what the machine looks like and how it works. Barbaric is what they said. I hate our tests are so invasive and painful.

I would not describe mammos as barbaric. Uncomfortable and intrusive. Barbaric is dying unnecessarily of a curable disease.

adlitem · 26/05/2022 11:49

If I were you I would be looking at addressing your anxiety around the procedure rather than avoiding the procedure itself. Perhaps discuss with your GP, they might able able to make some adjustments to how the sample is taken for you.

Calmdown14 · 26/05/2022 11:49

Perhaps if you can't do it for you then you should consider it from your child's perspective.
How would you feel leaving them behind because you couldn't face a three minute procedure? Or if they follow your example when older and you have to nurse them through cancer? If this was your daughter you'd want her checked presumably??

I like the dentist comparison. No one looks forward to it but it just needs to be done. It really isn't that bad and just feels like any other medical procedure.

None of us like clearing up vomit but we do it for our families. Stick it in the same mental bracket of hold breath and get it over with

Beautifulmonster87 · 26/05/2022 11:52

Spacehopp · 26/05/2022 10:31

I’ve got a 3 year old son, but I had a c-section with him that I chose to have as I’m so scared of things being put inside me (I don’t mean a penis obviously, but ‘instruments’)

I refused all internal examinations while I was pregnant too.

So apart from sex and my mooncup I use every month when I’m on my period, I’ve not had anything put inside me or had a medical professional’s fingers etc in there.
The thought makes me feel physically ill.

I keep getting letters about the smear and just throwing them in the bin. I feel embarrassed about it. But I also think if men had to go through this kind of invasive procedure, they would have come up with something else by now.

I feel like you need some therapy or something.
You allow a penis and moon cup inside you and a smear isn’t enjoyable but it’s so quickly over. It’s worth it to know you’re safe and won’t have to undergo more invasive procedures in the future.

Fluffycloudland77 · 26/05/2022 11:53

It’s not as bad as you think though. Dh had a dr put his finger up his bum at the weekend, there was no alternative.

I did have a colleague go off with cervical cancer, I left but management weren’t expecting her to return. She hadn’t had a smear test due to embarrassment.

ResentfulLemon · 26/05/2022 11:54

My sister was diagnosed with stage 4 cervical cancer at the age of 33. She can confirm that a smear is absolutely nothing compared with what surgery, chemotherapy, brachytherapy and radiotherapy does to your body or mental state.

Please find a way to get yourself tested. There are trials for self testing because it's HPV they look for now in the first instance rather than rogue cells - maybe this is something that would work better for you than a procedure carried out by someone else.

AnnaSW1 · 26/05/2022 11:59

I'm an ex medic. I'd also never had a smear until last year and don't want to have one. The only thing that made me go and get one is that I have small children now. I didn't want to one day look at them and regret not getting a smear in case I ended up getting cervical cancer and could have prevented it progressing. It was fine.