I’m 33 and I’ve never had a smear test

[Spacehopp]

I’ve got a 3 year old son, but I had a c-section with him that I chose to have as I’m so scared of things being put inside me (I don’t mean a penis obviously, but ‘instruments’)

I refused all internal examinations while I was pregnant too.

So apart from sex and my mooncup I use every month when I’m on my period, I’ve not had anything put inside me or had a medical professional’s fingers etc in there.
The thought makes me feel physically ill.

I keep getting letters about the smear and just throwing them in the bin. I feel embarrassed about it. But I also think if men had to go through this kind of invasive procedure, they would have come up with something else by now.

I think if someone is so traumatised that they would knowingly risk that then the 'pull yourself together comments' aren't very helpful. Do you think we haven't tried that.

Sorry to single your post out. It's one of a few.

It's just a medical procedure with a professional.

We need to normalise all this and stop medical embarrassment. A Vagina is like a mouth, a foot, an arm medically.

You really don't want does of embarrassment written on your headstone.

I am quite appalled actually that you refused check ups in pregnancy. That's selfish.

A lot of people do feel the same way OP, it isn't much help to say 'it isn't that bad' because fear isn't logical, but in terms of discomfort it's far below for example getting an IV, personally.

Also, men not only get fingers on their prostate but swabs up their urethra for some std checks!

As a procedure smears save so many women, they aren't sexist, they're a wonderful lifesaving diagnostic test.

But I also think if men had to go through this kind of invasive procedure, they would have come up with something else by now

think I'd rather have a smear test than a prostrate exam tbh.

A diy hpv test is a good idea I think.

I didn’t have my child via vagina birth, I opted to have a c section.

I also refused all internal examinations.

https://onlinedoctor.superdrug.com/hpv-test.html

here’s the link 🙂

Have you ever read up on the statistics and how many lives it saves, the chance of abnormal cells changing on their own, or the possibility of the swabs and tests causing cell changes themselves?

I will consider a HPV test.

Just to be clear I had ultrasounds during pregnancy, external ones, not internal.

Thank you @PinkPlantCase

I've never had one either. I did have the HPV vaccine.

OP, if you want to have one there are some suggestions in the thread that may make it easier. But it's your choice, and if actually you decide you don't want to, that's fine too. Your body, your decision. In my case, the small risk of developing cancer is better than the certainty of distress and trauma from the test (and yes, other women may think it's painless, no big deal, easier than going to the dentist, etc, but not everyone is the same!)

I was you last year. Weirdly the same age and everything. I'd put off having a smear for years because I can't stand the thought of allowing a stranger to touch me. I've experienced a few serious sexual assaults and also not been listened to during birth which made me really... angry and defensive at the idea. I had a general fear of medical settings/procedures for quite a while, which has definitely faded over time, but this compounded the issue. I did allow examinations during birth as I was doing everything possible to keep my baby safe, but there ended up being a few things done which I didn't consent to and at one point I had to kick a male doctor away from me who belittled my pain and continued to do something after I'd removed consent. Everybody nagging me about going for a smear test made no difference, it just pissed me off and made me feel as though they were trying to stop me having control over my own body.

I had many symptoms of cervical cancer last year and was scared shitless. I felt my cervix myself and there was a lump on it. Managed to get a GP appointment (during lockdown) who examined me and was very concerned. The examination itself with female GP was ok. I didn't even find the speculum uncomfortable. She put me at ease and was completely understanding.

I was referred for a colposcopy under the 2 week wait system and my appointment was with a man. I was an absolute state, felt as though I had to willingly allow myself to be sexually assaulted to access medical care. I called up to change my appointment to be with a woman and was originally told there were no women. That turned out to either be a mistake or a lie and I was transferred to a woman, but it meant there was more of a delay. I'd been ignoring the symptoms for a while by this point and ended up agreeing to see a man instead because I'd become convinced I had cervical cancer and I couldn't bear another day of looking at my children and worrying. There were two female nurses who stayed with me the whole time and understood my reaction. They held my hands and chatted to me. The male doctor asked why I'd never had a smear and I just told him that I'd had some bad things happen to me and wasn't comfortable with being touched. He understood and left it there. He tried to give me as much control over the procedure as possible and thankfully told me that I had a completely healthy cervix and the lump was just a benign cyst from childbirth. All of my other symptoms were side effects from medications. He asked whether I'd like him to do a smear test because it would add literally seconds onto what he was already doing, so I agreed. The whole thing was completely painless.

I know you're not going for a colposcopy, but the whole thing has made me more accepting of the idea of a smear test. I doubt that either of those medical professionals would be the ones performing my smear in future, but I know that our practice nurses are really friendly and down to earth. I would feel ok with them doing it and I know that I do have control because I can just not have the procedure if it turned out to be with somebody who made me uncomfortable. Your family and friends just care about you and want to make sure you stay as healthy as possible. My nan died of cervical cancer and I definitely don't want that to happen to me. The thought that I might have cervical cancer and had intentionally avoided having smears for years, and the affect that would then have on my children made me feel sick. The 'avoidable' nature of it made it so much worse and I don't think I'd have been able to forgive myself for putting my children through that. The whole time I was waiting for that colposcopy I absolutely hated myself for avoiding smears for so long knowing what it could mean.

I’m a nurse practitioner and do about 400-500 smears a year.

I’ve met lots of women like you. You’re not alone. I offer them an appointment first to talk through their fears and explain what’s involved. Some like to see the speculum and brush.

Then they come back for the appointment, and I’ll make a longer one so we don’t have to rush.

No fingers are inserted inside of you but I usually need to part the labia so would have to touch your vulva. I’d always tell you what I’m about to do so there are no surprises.

Once the speculum is inserted and opened slightly so I can see the cervix the sampling takes about 4 seconds. I’ve had women insert their own speculum if they prefer.

I’ve had women bring a friend, sister, mother, partner. They wear earbuds and listen to music, play on their phones, sing, close their eyes and meditate. Whatever it takes really. They can keep their socks on, just pull up a skirt or dress. I don’t care if you’ve shaved your legs, done your bikini line, have a big tummy or wobbly thighs. I’m just glad you’re there.

Maybe think about talking to your practice nurse, if she’s nice. If you really can’t face it, do a home HPV swab privately which will reassure you if it’s negative as if negative the chance of abnormal cells is negligible.

@TellySavalashairbrush your daughter will be invited 6 months before her 25th birthday.

As long as she’s received an invitation letter she can make an appointment, even if she’s not yet 25.

🙂

It must be hard to feel like that.

For me I have generations of women who have died over cervical/ovarian/breast cancer and also the ovarian cancer spreading to the bowel. As a child I saw what it did to both grandmothers and 3 of my aunts, as an adult I lost my mother. Found out we have the BRCA1 gene in the family. For me tests are a no brainer, I always had cervical smears until I had no cervix , just had my mammogram test, send off my poo test when that arrives and had a genetic test for BRCA1 as soon as I could.

I find the mammogram worse than the smear, I'm not well blessed and I get really man handled and pulled about to get what little I have into the right place. This year I was really worried, I'd broken a rib coughing with covid and thought it was going to be really bad. Honestly the radiographer was so kind, so gentle it ended up being the easiest one ever. I would say try and talk to the nurse and get some support.

Hopefully you would get a negative result and the peace of mind that gives is worth alot. Good luck with it.

Just think of it like a willy going inside you. You clearly didn't mind that?

They don't even look at the sample anymore so what's the point? I've been called up for one but im thinking of getting a home hpv test instead. If that was positive i would go for a smear.

I really don't understand these threads. Why wouldn't you protect yourself, for your children if nothing else?

Do you really think that's an acceptable thing to say?

In what way is consensual sex in a loving relationship in any way similar to a smear?
Not to mention you have no idea if a woman who is scared of a smear has been raped or sexually assaulted.

You know that its not just dying with cancer, it can be pretty painful as well

Appalled? What are you on about? Pregnant women, like anyone else, can refuse any medical intervention for any reason they like. And anyway there is no need for internal examinations in most pregnancies, or necessarily in labour either.

As a nurse who takes smear samples I can say that a lot of women who come in and grit their teeth and just do it always feel 100% better after it's done. These tests are there to detect cervical changes and without them so many women would lose their lives to a cancer that can be easily treated if found early enough. Voice your concerns or worries with your practice nurse explain how you feel and how anxious you are, put some headphones in and it will be over in less than 3 minutes. I regularly go for my smears and am lucky I do as I've had abnormal cells found and without the smear test it could have progressed to cervical cancer. As a nurse we've seen it all before and apart from an uncomfortable feeling your smear test should not be painful. You also have a child which if anything should make you want to put your health first.

Cervical cancer is generally viewed as treatable and curable, particularly if it is diagnosed when the cancer is in an early stage.

Stage 4 cervical cancer is not curable in many cases.

I realise it isn't that straight forward for everyone to just get on with it and do it, but many women put it off and find they have cancer and it's beyond fixing with treatment.

There are many people out there who would give anything to go back in time and get a check up, or go to screening. There are also people who did all the right things and it wasn't enough.

Deborah James
Jade Goody
Rachel Bland
Sarah Harding
Tom Parker
Helen Mccory
To name a few

All absolutely devastating situations.

You really should take every opportunity to ensure your health is ok, it can and does save lives of people who were absolutely oblivious anything was wrong.

I hate them too, I’ve recently gone and did the smear test plus the dr did an internal ultrasound to check my ovaries too. It was all good, definitely not pleasant but I’m glad it’s done for now. Perhaps a home test is a good idea for you to try?

That’s a lovely thoughtful response from @Sidge but some of the replies on here are absolutely horrible when OP has explained her feelings. Telling someone that they are being ridiculous over a genuine fear is spiteful and unlikely to help.