I’m 33 and I’ve never had a smear test

[Spacehopp]

I’ve got a 3 year old son, but I had a c-section with him that I chose to have as I’m so scared of things being put inside me (I don’t mean a penis obviously, but ‘instruments’)

I refused all internal examinations while I was pregnant too.

So apart from sex and my mooncup I use every month when I’m on my period, I’ve not had anything put inside me or had a medical professional’s fingers etc in there.
The thought makes me feel physically ill.

I keep getting letters about the smear and just throwing them in the bin. I feel embarrassed about it. But I also think if men had to go through this kind of invasive procedure, they would have come up with something else by now.

Would you refuse treatment if you got cervical cancer? If you would, fair enough you crack on. Your body, your rules.

But -

If you found out you had cancer and would do everything you could to save your life then you must have your smear. A smear could literally save your life. It takes minutes.

Well if I hadn't had one at 24 I would probably be dead now as I had pre cancerous cells and had to have them removed.

I don't like or enjoy it, but I do it because I don't want cancer.

I'm sure your anxieties are real - no one can dismiss them - they are real to you. Real but far from insurmountable. I have to get my prostate checked every couple of years - it's a 5min job at the GP's - 50/50 whether it's a male or a female doctor - really - I don't care - they - like both my daughters - are doctors - it's their job - they know what they are doing - my friendly familiar car mechanic, supermarket checkout girl, postman, etc can't check it - there's no option - it's really important to you, to your partner, to your children, to your family - that you get the check done - you're an adult not a child - if you can't make good quality decisions in difficult circumstances I doubt you will cope with the many random sh*t things that come out of the blue and hit you in life.. you can't just bury your head in the sand every time and expect not to come unstuck at some point. Read this from mathematician Hannah Fry from the Guardian a couple of days ago about ignoring her calls to go for a check - I think you will feel a huge relief to get the check done and out of the way - one way or another you ought IMHO to find a way to get it done - just tell it like it is to your GP - you aren't unique in feeling awkward about it.

www.telegraph.co.uk/health-fitness/body/prof-hannah-fry-calculating-risks-cancer-treatment-would-have/

No-one should be coerced into a screening test if they don't want one. Screening is associated with risks as well as benefits.

Risks that a massively outweighed by the benefits

Not trying to co-erce you at all, but I finally went for one at 35 (my only birth was a c-section at that point too) and it was just nothing. Two seconds, barely felt the instrument, no HPV or whatever so don't have to go again for ages. It was really nothing to worry about in the end.

I've burst into tears during a smear, I've also nearly vomited, but I'd never miss one.
If you tell the nurse that you're terrified they will be really gentle.

When I was 33, I'd seen 4 women in their 20's die on my ward from cervical cancer over a 2 year period. None had had smears.
Don't be a statistic, get the smear test. It's free, painless and life saving.
40 years on I can't unsee the way those poor women died.

I understand your fears and I didn't go for one for years.

Google brachytherapy- it's part of the treatment I had for cervical cancer when I eventually got round to going for a smear test - makes a smear test seem like a walk in the park

Don't think, by the way, that shock tactics or emotional blackmail about her kids will really help OP, no matter how strongly you feel. She's afraid and that fear is powerful. Some people are going too far.

A HPV test is a good first step OP if you can't stand the thought of the smear.

My thing is to remember Jade Goody, if she'd had it done, she might still be with her children.

Jade had smear tests. She still died.

I’m 44 and I’ve never had one. I feel I’m low risk though as neither me or my DH have had any other partners.

Well don't have one. But don't moan if you get cancer which could have been detected earlier.
I had my first when I was 9. It was beyond horrendous. But I still had them when I got older.

Sadly Jade did admit to ignoring letters from her GP regarding abnormal results as she did not want to go into hospital again.

I was worried before my first one but the nurse was amazing and I couldn't feel a thing. I was told at my last one that they only check for HPV now and if that is neg then they don't bother checking the sample. So an at home HPV would be a good compromise.

Maybe talk to one of the nurses about having a smear done. She may be able to talk to you about what he possibilities are. Drugs beforehand? I too hate smears with a passion. I find mn very very dismissive of those that hate them.

Please ignore all the posters who are dismissive OP. They don't know what they are referring to. A good Smear nurse will at least be able to talk options with you. You can then make a more informed choice.

This is a good idea. Or speak to your GP beforehand and they may prescribe something like Diazepam to help with the anxiety!

I'm the same as you, had c-sections to avoid internal examinations amongst other reasons! The idea of instruments or hands being inserted is so traumatic. Makes me want to sew my legs together. Used to have vaginismus with men too. Finally had my first smear at the grand old age of 36 last year because I need to have a huge fibroid removed and the gyno could not proceed unless she checks for cancer first. So I braved it.. and it was okay. I just breathed deeply and held my arm tight over my face until it was done (2/3 mins) I was a little sore afterwards but on cloud nine!
It was uncomfortable, it was sore, it was slightly painful. I don't want to lie. But it was short lived for a huge reward ♥️

I understand that you have anxiety over this and I say this with respect, you need to get over it. You are being extremely negligent about your health and I would think that a smear that takes just minutes is far better than having something serious like cancer go undetected. You are very lucky to live in a time where a very simple test can save your life and you are balking over doing it because of anxiety. Go to talk to a therapist, learn meditation to get through the two minutes it takes to do the smear. Maybe go private and ask if they can give you little something to help calm your nerves. Do whatever you need to do to get the damn test done.

I am a lifelong anxiety sufferer and so I do understand what it feels like to feel trapped and overcome with anxiety but you are letting anxiety win and take over your life by not going to get the smear. it's up to you to get the help you need and not let anxiety dictate your life.

I hate them too but I always think if I don't go for this 5 minute appointment I could end up with cancer and then the treatment and checkups would be 1000x worse. I know which I prefer.
And I don't understand how you can be fine with a mooncup but not anything else? I find the thought of a mooncup up there all day worse than a speculum for 30 seconds. But that's personal preference.
And sorry to put it bluntly but you need to do this for your son. He doesn't want to lose his mum to cervical cancer, something that is preventable. You owe it to him to go and have a smear test.

YABU - internal exams during pregnancy are unnecessary- although most people don’t realise that. Smear tests can be life saving so you are taking an unnecessary risk. Your choice totally though- it doesn’t impact anyone else.

Do it for your child

Since when do men get a finger up the bum to check their prostate? There is no such thing as a prostate screening program in the UK so I highly doubt that blokes are expected to have a finger shoved up their bum as routine.

A smear test is basically just an invasive HPV test now. So if you really don’t want a smear test you can just get a HPV test kit from Superdrug. This is what I am going to do when my next smear test is due. If it comes back positive for HPV then I will book a smear and if it’s negative then nope 🤷‍♀️

This. Your life to risk. You also have no clue how lucky you are to live in a country where you are offered and then chased up about this.

Yes slightly embarrassing but thats about it. Does not hurt, over with in a minute or two and could save your life. Just have it done!