You poor thing. I can sympathise with you as like others I went through it too. I experienced it for 6 years. It starts off slowly then it's like a freight train, and speeds up real fast, but by then you're so brainwashed that you can't think straight.
The making you push friends away is usually the start, telling you that you don't need to spend time with them and that time with him will be more fun and all you need, until your friends are gone.
Getting upset and giving the silent treatment if you go anywhere or contact anyone, it gets to the point that you won't bother as seeing him like this and experiencing the silent treatment is not worth it.
My ex could go days banging around and not talking to me if I went out, even work events or friends before I pushed them away he would turn up and stand in a corner staring over watching.
My ex was the big man that everyone loved, life and soul of any party. We'd go to events together and everyone would be bigging him up, he'd be all good humoured and smiling and laughing and I'd let my guard down thinking he's in good form and I'd have an extra drink or I'd speak with someone but no, I'd pay later on and the next few days where he'd tell me I embarrassed him, I was a state and making a show of myself, he'd be so calm talking, not shouting which got in my head more.
I use to have to lie and pretend that I was meeting one of my sister's as he trusted her, I'd go to work events and pretend to see her, I'd have to warn her as he'd ring her questioning it. If I was home any later than midnight he'd be sitting there waiting, I was expecting him to give out but he'd just sit there looking all sad like I'd ruined his life.
I was often accused of cheating, my clothes were always put down I was constantly told that no one would be interested in me because of the state of me. I covered up with polo jumpers, jeans or tracksuits.
I was never allowed to go away, he'd guilt me into not going away, telling me how he'd miss me and I wouldn't miss him and he'd sulk. If I wanted to go away I had to go with him. I missed so many things over the years because of him. He went away, he went to football and stags and nights out, and I'd be contacting him telling him to have a good time. It was before mobiles so I was ringing hotels trying to track him down.
There was so much more which I'm sure you're experiencing, lots of small things that all add up. It sounds like you are realising that this relationship is not normal, this is a good sign. That light bulb moment that you have to leave is empowering. You'll never look back.
Things like houses can easily be sorted, I use to fear my ex would throw my things in the garden, change the locks etc but it's illegal for them to do that, I found all that out when it came to selling the house. It actually ended up straight forward doing this. The only thing I was left with was many issues inside my head, I did get counselling, I should have done more. I still to this day get very down about it all.
Don't worry about another relationship, I jumped right into another one after, and it was toxic, I went for a guy the complete opposite and then wondered if it was me that attracted assholes. I gave myself a decent amount of time out of relationships and it was only when I decided that I never wanted to date again I met my husband.
If there's one piece of advice I can offer is, speak to a family member and tell them everything. It'll be hard but you need to be honest and open and ask them to help you. You can't see how bad he is, you know some of his behaviour is not right. You will realise one day how bad he is. For now reach out and ask someone to help you.