I never really thought I had depression, always just thought I was 'lazy'. Some days I don't want to get out of bed, small tasks are overwhelming to me, don't want to shower etc, happily stay in the house watching television, reading and eating, however, I've always just assumed that's how I am and forced myself to do these things even if I really don't want to.
I noticed somewhere a few weeks ago, not sure if it was here or some other social media but someone described their depression as the feeling of homesickness whilst being at home and honestly that is the perfect description. That's exactly how I feel and have felt for as long as I can remember around 70 percent of the time.
It's like this ache in my stomach that feels exactly like what homesickness felt when I was a child. An awful feeling that nothing gets rid of no matter what I do. I always just assumed this was just a part of living and how I will always feel and somewhat normal albeit pretty painful and uncomfortable.
I have gotten a puppy recently and the work that comes with that have really brought these feelings to the forefront. Once again, I'm going through the motions with the puppy, playing, feeding, walking, training, cuddling etc but this horrible feeling of homesickness is absolutely horrendous since I've gotten the puppy and I'm not enjoying being in the moment. I'm starting to really wonder if I've made a mistake getting the puppy, as if it's too big a commitment. However I have a child, so strange that a puppy should tip me over the edge.
Is this a normal fact of being alive, having a knot in stomach and not being able to live in the moment? Or am I being reasonable in thinking that this feeling of homesickness is actually depression?