Should I report this school mom?

[user65613468478]

Name changed for this and not really an AIBU but I need some advice.

I have noticed one of the school moms at DS's reception class has needle marks on her body. Without giving away information about myself I know that these marks are drug related. Her children are 1 and 5. Should I report it?

I'm In two minds!

Yes they could be because she's an addict or she has them because she has diabetes and she has to inject insulin daily. And the warmer weather means they are on show more due to not being in coats and stuff.

Absolutely report to the DSL at school.
They'll look into it. Anyone saying otherwise has no clue about safeguarding.

Absolutely!

Those who are saying otherwise are probably concerned over their own parenting or drug habits and are worried this thread is about them.

I literally never thought I’d read on site that’s predominantly full of women with children not to report concerns.

OP: I have concerns about a child’s welfare.
PPs: don’t report incase you’re wrong
The mind boggles.

Anyone working in the school should have had safeguarding training (I did and I’m not teaching staff or even child facing). I’m not experienced by any means - but the procedure is set out and the school will have at least one safeguarding officer.

I have teachers in the family who have had to intervene where children were genuinely in danger (not even families where there was obvious neglect - but when you know what to look for).

Id rather make myself look a busybody fool (and be hissed at the school gates) than shrug off a concern as ‘none of my business’.

Not necessarily. I'm in y6. If I see those marks on Jimmy's mum in y2 , I don't have any more insight than OP. I'd just report it to the DSP and it's up to them to investigate . All relevant info is held by the DSP's. Teachers and TA's concerned might be told some of the information if needed. Staff in other year groups don't know anything, as it should be.

They are overworked because they're underfunded ,understaffed and too many children live in miserable and unsafe conditions, or because there isn't any other avenue for their needs.

An unfounded report is the quickest and easiest thing to sort on a SW's case load.

Modern daily (and multiple daily injected) insulin is usually injected sub-cut, not IV. Typically back of the arms, stomach, thighs, or buttocks (areas with a covering of adipose tissue) - from my limited understanding of substance use, I believe that 'track marks' would look very different. This is just in response to people suggesting it is diabetes... you can certainly get bleeding and bruising but the modern needles are absolutely tiny and they don't (in my experience) go into veins (or at least they really shouldn't!).

How do the children seem.any red flags

If you’ve seen it and noticed it, so have other people.
if the children are cared for, clean and looked after then it’s really not your business and school would already be on alert.

Yes, better safe than sorry.

I would mind my own business. Just because you work in a certain industry doesnt make you an expert and you could be completely wrong - and in the process make life extremely difficult for this person. They may not be needle marks - if they are, they could be as a result of treatment for a health condition. You’ve said you have no concerns about her parenting ability so what is there to report ?

So many people choose to turn so many blind eyes.
And with kids in the middle of it as well.

They may not be needle marks - if they are, they could be as a result of treatment for a health condition.

Why do people keep saying this - surely if the mum is questioned it’s easy to prove that it’s a health condition.

I wonder if it was the dad with needle marks on him if posters would also be saying not to bother reporting.

Horrible thread - if this woman is ill and the marks are from treatment, reporting to the school isn’t going to make her life any easier is it ? OP, if the children look OK and you haven’t any concerns about their welfare as things stand now, why don’t you just tell her you’ve noticed the marks and ask her if she’s OK ? If you still have concerns about her response, then report.

But the Op isn’t questioning her herself, she’s proposing to report it to the school. What’s wrong with asking the question directly to the person ? If she’s still got concerns after asking, then report it.

If I had to "prove" my health conditions to my child's school because of a nosy other parent, I would be absolutely disgusted, to be honest.

OP is apparently in an "industry" that makes her know all about drug addicts, but doesn't know what to do if she actually suspects someone isn't fit for taking care of their child? Sounds a bit odd to me.

What’s wrong with asking the question directly to the person ? If she’s still got concerns after asking, then report it.

So if you saw bruises on a child or heard they were being abused you would just ask the parent and not report to anyone?

No parent is going to be honest and stop doing it, they will just hide it even better.

This should not even be a question and I’m shocked do many people would turn a blind eye.
If you are concerned about a child’s welfare you should report it. End of.

If the mother is having treatment or did donate blood recently, a report to the school isn't going to "turn her life upside down". The school will probably know if she has been having treatment, and if she donated blood it will show on her donor record and if a teacher said "what's wrong with your arm, are you ok" and she said "oh I gave blood last week and they made a hash of getting the needle in" you'd probably accept that wouldn't you? But you can only donate once every 4 months max so you'd soon know she was lying if there were more bruises sooner.

But she isn’t concerned about a child’s well-being or welfare.
she’s concerned that the child’s parent COULD be doing something

No one is saying there are bruises on the children or that they’re being abused - that’s totally different and of course if there was evidence of abuse you would report. But this is the mother, and this is a witch hunt with little evidence to support it. Given that the children are fine and cared for - which the OP admits, why not just tell the mum that the marks have been noted and ask if everything is OK ? If there are still concerns after asking, then report it. Jesus, talk about being guilty until proved innocent.

She could be doing something that DOES affect the wellbeing of her children.

Always put the child’s well-being first. Report, definitely.
We all know what the outcome could be safeguarding concerns are ignored.

These things are never in isolation are they ? so if the school already has concerns and are documenting it and then you raise this is an additional concern that could be the final trigger for help for the family and equally if there’s absolutely no concerns whatsoever the school probably won’t even mention it.

But she isn’t concerned about a child’s well-being or welfare.

Yes she is.

Else she wouldn’t have mentioned the children’s ages or say that she’d not forgive herself if she didn’t report and something happened to them.

Why don't you just ask the Mum herself first and judge based on her reaction?!

Have people stopped talking to people?! She's been on the school run with you for over a year. Just go, Christ, what on earth has happened to your arm, is everything ok!

Honestly. If you still have concerns, fine, bring it up. But this is typical of the generation who must text ' I'm outside' when picking up an item instead of just ringing the bloody bell.

Not every needle mark is proof of drug addiction

There are medical reasons she might have needle marks.