AIBU - dd left out?

[crackrattle]

My DD is 9 and is really close friends with two girls at school, they hang about in a threesome all the time and seem to get along well. There is arguments here and there but for the most part all seem to get along well.

One of the girls has been at my house for play dates which are reciprocated by her mum but not as often, this isn't a problem though as mum has other children and has a big commute for work.

Other friend has been at my house/days out often and it is never reciprocated by the other mum. Find that a bit odd but I do it for my dd.

Today dd has just came in from school crying saying she feels left out as the two girls are going on a week long holiday together with one of the girls parents and they were talking about it today. I told dd that sometimes friends hang out separately and that that is okay and have given her examples of when I do that with my friend and when she's had a one on one play date or sleepover with one of her friends.

However, inside I feel so upset. I remember being the kid at school who was left out of these fun things in the friendship group. I have invited both of the girls to play and have dinner on Saturday and I honestly feel like just texting the mums saying, 'sorry, play date cancelled' and not responding to any further texts. However this would just impact my daughter rather than anyone else so I obviously won't. I just feel sick to my stomach about it and I think it's really unfair for them to speak about it in front of my dd.

There really is no consoling my dd and it's going to be a nightmare leading up to it and after, I just know it.

Just needed to vent though and ask if my reaction seems reasonable? Should I say anything to the mum that planned it?

And the more you post the more I can understand why the girl picked her other friend over your daughter 🙄

@lollipoprainbow I would ignore. Some people on Mumsnet get a kick out of being ultra mean for no reason. I completely understand why your daughter would feel left out. In your shoes I would book a short summer break and invite one of the girls along (not the one that left your daughter out of this holiday).

Who’s picking on a child? I was speaking about your rude attitude to anyone who hasn’t agreed with you and the fact you’ve had posts deleted for being so vile, can you blame the parents for not wanting their child associated with someone like you?

Thanks @XelaM. I'll ignore the nasty posters such as @Prinnny from now on !!

We have one child. Almost every cottage we have ever rented has had two beds in the second bedroom, and our car only comfortably seats four. So it would always have been easy to take one friend, but two would have been a different matter. Try to explain to your daughter why it was probably only an option to take one friend.

Three can be tricky - if you do things with one of the others, the third is left out - which isn't the same as when it's a foursome.

Again, you’re the one who’s nasty posts keep getting deleted but okay 👍🏻

Really bad guess. We've all experienced that, its part of life. We just don't make such a fuss about it. We teach our children resilience and perspective. Something OP clearly hasn't learned

@CupidStunt22 yeah really hard to teach my autistic dd how to be resilient but thanks.

Gosh I'm so glad I'm past these years with my ds I remember very clearly issues like this and feeling upset for ds now he arranges all his own social life and is at uni.

Op I completely understand your feelings it totally sucks like a horrid feeling in the pit of your stomach.

I do agree with Cupid though. It’s the human condition. You have to teach your children to deal with it. Doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt but it is going to happen in life it is painful and yes there is literally nothing you can do about it.