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Original poster

Should I report my friend

97 replies

Natalialikes · 25/05/2022 10:55

I have no idea if this is the right place to post. I'm still shocked by what I was told yesterday.

I'm not posting to judge about his treatment of his family so please read on.

My husbands best friend has left his wife and kids for a very troubled woman. We know she suffers with mental health and she has a history of making rape allegations and alcoholism.

They are basically at it like rabbits and have been for the last 3 months. Yesterday, he admitted to my husband that this woman gave him a bj in a cinema... whilst watching a kids film... and the woman's son sitting next to them. Apparently she put a coat over her head so the child couldn't see but I've hit the roof. Its made me feel sick.

He didn't come outright and say it. He told my husband the bj story and then let slip days later what film they watched. My husband clocked it was a kids film so confronted him on where the kid was. He eventually admitted he was sat with them. We both think it needs reporting to the police. Is this reportable? I have no proof. This is only a story that was told to my husband who reacted very angrily to his friend. There's other stuff too but this is the worst thing. The kid is 8. Not to mention other children would have been present. It's made me want to throw up.

OP posts:
Isaidnoalready · 25/05/2022 11:01

If this is true you should obviously report but they will need evidence really maybe text him saying I can't believe you let that happen in front of your child see what response you get

And the friendship will be over

StepAwayFromGoogling · 25/05/2022 11:01

Yes, report. That's revolting and clearly a safeguarding issue.

Original poster
Natalialikes · 25/05/2022 11:03

It is. They were having a beer at the time it came out and words were said and it qlmost got physical. It has upset my husband greatly. They have been friends for 25 years

OP posts:
Original poster
Natalialikes · 25/05/2022 11:06

Isaidnoalready · 25/05/2022 11:01

If this is true you should obviously report but they will need evidence really maybe text him saying I can't believe you let that happen in front of your child see what response you get

And the friendship will be over

It's the proof that is stopping us. That and the fact he could have made the first part up and then it's come back to bite him when he's slipped up saying what they watched. He's known to exaggerate

OP posts:
NarcissasMumintheDoghouse · 25/05/2022 11:08

You should let the boy's mother know.

Original poster
Natalialikes · 25/05/2022 11:10

NarcissasMumintheDoghouse · 25/05/2022 11:08

You should let the boy's mother know.

Maybe I wasn't clear enough, sorry. This boy is the woman's son. God knows what he's used to seeing

OP posts:
pinkyredrose · 25/05/2022 11:12

NarcissasMumintheDoghouse · 25/05/2022 11:08

You should let the boy's mother know.

The woman is the mother.

Blaze1886 · 25/05/2022 11:13

Grim

BertieQueen · 25/05/2022 11:19

If he is telling the truth then that’s revolting.
poor child with a parent like that.

I have no idea if you can or who you would report it to, but I would definitely be having no contact with him from now on.

cherrymax · 25/05/2022 11:20

I would report it even without evidence. They may not be able to do anything or there may be existing concerns and this helps build a picture of what life is like for this child.

If this is the way they behave in public then I worry what sexually inappropriate behaviour is happening at home.

VanillaIce1 · 25/05/2022 11:21

And by the way they have cameras that can actually see in the dark in most cinemas now. I know someone who was stabbed in the cinema and my god the cctv was crystal clear. So I'd say report it and let the police find the proof if they can. Dirty bastards.

ChiswickFlo · 25/05/2022 11:25

Anonymous report from cinema patron

Iamnotamermaid · 25/05/2022 11:25

Report it - this could just be the one of many incidents. Plus It could have been reported by other people at the cinema..

ChocolatemilkBertie · 25/05/2022 11:26

There might be CCTV in the cinema. Report it, CCTV these days can see through darkness.
At best they’ve committed indecent assault. But exposing your child to these things is sexual abuse. He was right next to them???? And other children????

Report.I’m a safeguarding lead at school. Here’s what I have to repeat again and again to everyone:
She may have been reported for something similar before. Your report could form a pattern or even be the final piece of a puzzle needed.
You don’t know if anyone else in the cinema spotted and reported, even if just to cinema staff. That could be enough.
Never underestimate what a child could have said. Children can lie and twist things yes, but on this level, you don’t know what he’s seen and what he has said to others that is being taken note of somewhere. He may well have said to a staff member at school “I went to see the Paw Patrol Movie and mum put a coat on my head and I missed a bit”.

I know people can get randy and lots of people have funny tales of secret sex…..including the cinema…..but in front of children???????? Her own son right next to them????? No. No excuse.

I know loosing a friendship over it would be painful but I couldn’t see someone in the same light if they did that. His dick was out in front of children at the cinema. It’s practically flashing.

SherbetDips · 25/05/2022 11:29

Definitely report them. I would imagine it’s a criminal offence to have sex in front of a minor.

Original poster
Natalialikes · 25/05/2022 11:30

cherrymax · 25/05/2022 11:20

I would report it even without evidence. They may not be able to do anything or there may be existing concerns and this helps build a picture of what life is like for this child.

If this is the way they behave in public then I worry what sexually inappropriate behaviour is happening at home.

Maybe SS? I'd bet the house that the boy is on the radar already. That might be more appropriate. He's done a lot of bragging the last few months about what they get up to. Our concerns are that he's lying and tied himself in a knot. But then he had the chance to say he made it up and didn't so I don't know what to think. I want to believe he made it up

OP posts:
DorothyZbornakIsAQueen · 25/05/2022 11:34

Do you know what type of mental health issues this woman has?

Risky sexual behaviour could be a sign of an episode and this could be a very vulnerable woman. Alcoholism could also be a sign she is self-medicating.

Carrying out this kind of behaviour is certainly not normal mum behaviour and seems extreme.

Certainly not condoning the behaviour btw!

Original poster
Natalialikes · 25/05/2022 11:36

DorothyZbornakIsAQueen · 25/05/2022 11:34

Do you know what type of mental health issues this woman has?

Risky sexual behaviour could be a sign of an episode and this could be a very vulnerable woman. Alcoholism could also be a sign she is self-medicating.

Carrying out this kind of behaviour is certainly not normal mum behaviour and seems extreme.

Certainly not condoning the behaviour btw!

Manic depression and ptsd from sexual abuse. Just what he has told us. He however has no excuse

OP posts:
Original poster
Natalialikes · 25/05/2022 11:38

Thank you. I am in tears here as we are practically family with the man. Him and my husband are like brothers. You are right.

OP posts:
DorothyZbornakIsAQueen · 25/05/2022 11:39

He knows that and is exploiting her vulnerability!! What a sick twat!

I could not be friends with him. It will be hard to find out, but he needs reporting to her mental health team.

Hiddenvoice · 25/05/2022 11:46

id definitely report, either police or social services. Poor child but I also think she could be very vulnerable and might be having an episode. He may not fully understand this and she may need support.

girlmom21 · 25/05/2022 11:50

DorothyZbornakIsAQueen · 25/05/2022 11:39

He knows that and is exploiting her vulnerability!! What a sick twat!

I could not be friends with him. It will be hard to find out, but he needs reporting to her mental health team.

All of this.

TwittleBee · 25/05/2022 11:54

You don't need proof, I know that from experience

Testina · 25/05/2022 11:59

If you take a read of the Sexual Offences Act 2003, there are sections regarding sexual activity in front of children.

As a minimum I would:


  • call NSPCC / SS

  • cut all ties with this arsehole


I’m not excusing the mother but it is possible there is a disorder behind her behaviour. Him: no “excuse”.

He’s allowed to leave him wife if he has done so respectfully and fairly. I don’t like people saying “wife and kids” because that’s not always true..

But on top of this disgusting act, I would question whether he’s taking advantage of her poor choices. He’s not a good friend, and he wouldn’t be a friend of mine anymore.

You say they’re like brothers. So what if he was a brother and he’d been caught and was now on the sexual offences register? Would you still want him close to you?

Stripyhoglets1 · 25/05/2022 11:59

Report to social services. Inappropriate exposure to sexual behaviour is abuse.
Blow job in public is a crime - lewd behaviour i expect.
But I'd go to SS as your concern is the child.
It may be painting a picture.
Your husband may lose his freind but at least he will have tried to keep a child safe.