Should I report my friend

[Natalialikes]

I have no idea if this is the right place to post. I'm still shocked by what I was told yesterday.

I'm not posting to judge about his treatment of his family so please read on.

My husbands best friend has left his wife and kids for a very troubled woman. We know she suffers with mental health and she has a history of making rape allegations and alcoholism.

They are basically at it like rabbits and have been for the last 3 months. Yesterday, he admitted to my husband that this woman gave him a bj in a cinema... whilst watching a kids film... and the woman's son sitting next to them. Apparently she put a coat over her head so the child couldn't see but I've hit the roof. Its made me feel sick.

He didn't come outright and say it. He told my husband the bj story and then let slip days later what film they watched. My husband clocked it was a kids film so confronted him on where the kid was. He eventually admitted he was sat with them. We both think it needs reporting to the police. Is this reportable? I have no proof. This is only a story that was told to my husband who reacted very angrily to his friend. There's other stuff too but this is the worst thing. The kid is 8. Not to mention other children would have been present. It's made me want to throw up.

This is absolutely disgusting, you’re right op that regardless of his partner’s problems your friend has no excuse.

I would call the NSPCC

I would report them both for engaging in sexual activity in front of a child. Absolutely disgusting.

Poor child. Yes NSPCC and child safety - she clearly needs help for her mental health issues and manic behaviour, the man is taking advantage of a vulnerable woman and prioritising his own needs over the safety and dignity of a child. What a creep, inexcusable to abuse a child like that, he would have been aware that something strange was happening even if he didn't know what.

You must report this, him being a friend is irrelevant.

Even if it does turn out to not be true, it's his fault for being a liar and lying about something so disgusting.

Does your DH support you in wanting to report?

If they do this while in the cinema, heaven only knows what they do in the house. Do they do this regularly in the living room with the child in the room, and my guess is he has probably witnessed a lot more and knew exactly what was going on beside him. Definitely needs reporting.

I appreciate your husband has been friends with this guy for a long time, however he doesn't sound like someone you'd want anything to do with. He is just as complicit as the woman in it, he could have refused. The fact he did it, then boasted to your husband about it and got angry at it being called out as inappropriate tells anyone all they need to know about him as a person, with or without the woman.

That is absolutely appalling, poor little boy.

That poor kid.

Please call the NSPCC and see what they advise. That poor child!

She put a coat over her head so he wouldn't notice? This sounds like absolute rubbish imo. Are you sure this wasn't just a bizarre brag that went wrong?

Fucking sick

You need to report this, not least because he has children with his wife as well. He should not be having unsupervised contact with them.

My sympathies to you and your husband, doing the right thing is sometimes very difficult, but you must. 💐

I think seek advice from the NSPCC, and ask whether to involve the police. If you have any clue of the date they went to the cinema, perhaps talk to them.

Yes. He's the only one that's confronted him about it. Other people know. Even his sisters. They all think the same but my husband is the only one that's given him both barrels.

that’s fucking revolting. but without proof…

My husband has made a police report online a few min ago. It's an incredibly hard thing that he's just done. He hasn't done it anonymously so there will be consequences. This has just ended a 25 year best friendship. He is devastated.

You don't need proof. Just report them and leave the investigating to the police. That is child abuse, subjecting a child to sexual acts.

No question - just report it.

It's an incredibly hard thing that he's just done

Not only hard, but very brave ... just be grateful there are still such decent people around

My friend had this, when her DCs came back from her ex's and asked "Why does daddy kiss (girlfriend's) pants?" It wasn't just kissing of course, and wasn't reported since friend was terrified what he'd do to the DCs for saying something

Needless to say it got a whole lot worse and the DCs no longer see him now they're adults

That is incredibly brave and a courageous thing for your dh, well done to him, it's definitely the right thing to do.

I’d go to social services in the first instance. They will then discuss with police.
they have committed a criminal offence but will be difficult to prove as the evidence provided by your husband will be classed as ‘ hearsay’.
By reporting to social services they will be able to investigate from a safeguarding perspective.

what vile people they are

Report to social services. That's the only thing you need to do, you don't need to worry about the lack of evidence. If it happened or if it didn't. Just report it and the rest is up to the person you report it to.
A massive lack of boundaries, I wonder what else that poor child has been exposed to?.

Your husband did a very brave thing, but difficult, my concern is how volatile that woman is I hope it doesn’t get nasty .

@ChocolatemilkBertie OP's post said the mother put a coat over HER head, not the child's.

It’s clearly something you would refer to social services and you can do anonymously without evidence. The children are obviously the most important concern