Unwanted compliments

[cds5163]

Does anyone not like being complimented or am I being unreasonable? Lately I'm just annoyed by any comments made about my appearance. A couple of weeks ago my husband's brothers visited and I had a small talk with the oldest and he goes "you still look young." Wtf, because I am. Then when they leave they tell my husband "how beautiful of a women I am." Why do people feel they need to talk about others appearance and body. I don't. It seems personal.

Then a couple months ago I had a baby and an incident stuck with me. Im not even a week postpartum. I took my baby to our pediatrician. We get along great. She's informed me that she also had a baby. Its been awhile since we seen each other. She asks if we will have any more. My husband is unsure and I'm leaning more towards a yes. Then she turns to my husband and she says something along the lines of "your lucky she looks great, some women don't bounce back." Wtf, not only am I offended for myself, I'm offended for others. There is no such thing as a bounce back. The idea that your body will go unscathed after pregnancy is ridiculous to me. Am I ungrateful for the positive comments?

Yes.

Just be a despicable, unattractive shit like me and you'll never get any.

I agree with you. Unless it's something I have obvious control over (clothes, hairstyle, etc.), compliments about my physical appearance usually make me feel uncomfortable.

(Brace yourself for people accusing you of some kind of stealth boast though...)

I think your reaction is weird to be honest. Yesterday I carried my baby in a sling and a woman commented: "Best way to carry a baby! You look great for just having had a baby!"

I was delighted, I like compliments.

the thing that I dislike the most is when people say something along the lines of “you look good for your age” or “you don’t look your age” . This makes me angry! What’s wrong with my age? Why isn’t looking my age good enough. Yes, of course, I want to take care of myself and be healthy but I don’t want to look like a 20 year old woman, because I am at least double that age and I am happy with my age. It’s not a compliment. It’s a comparison which is not good.

I love getting compliments on how I look (as long as they're not sleazy, /sexual). It really gives me a boost. Do you just get loads of compliments so it's not a novelty? For me it's rare so I really appreciate them.

orwellwasright
Lol me too☹

Ungrateful woman. Just be glad you look good enough to attract compliments.

I think the doctor’s comment was a bit creepy, and not professional. I know sometimes people think they’re being nice by saying things like that. I used to do the same before I had children, I thought saying, ‘you look great’ after they’d a baby was a compliment (whether they did or not). When people said that to me after I’d had mine, I thought they were taking the mick (probably a combo of being knackered and highly sensitive!).

I hate this too - it’s such a backhanded compliment!! What’s wrong with just being an age?

Give it 20 years when nobody even notices you let alone compliments you, then come back

Yep I find it really inappropriate. Because if someone notices you looking good then they also will notice you looking shit? And I’d rather just not hear any comments eEither way tbh

Oh ffs you’re trying really hard to have something to be offended at aren’t you!

I suspect that the healthcare professional was commenting on how well you have recovered from the birth and that everything looks great, rather than on your looks.

Is this what we call a first world problem?

Would you rather they said god op is a right ugly bitch what you doing with her? I mean if someone pays me a compliment I say thank you and move on. If this is all you have to worry about you’re fine

Oh dahling, I can’t even leave the house without some loser telling me how young and beautiful I look - exhausting isn’t it?!

I totally agree.. dont talk about how i look!! I am not interested in your opinion and it feel Way to personal. Im with you op 🌺

🙄

YANBU it's sexism. Women and girls are judged on our appearance in a way men and boys never are.

For anyone unfamiliar with the term 'stealth boast' this is a good example.

It's really hard for me to find this one of life's biggest inconveniences. And tbh Mumsnet is getting so bloody tedious with posts like this. My sister is in her 30's and has stage 4 inoperable cancer, I count every day in my life as a blessing,I'm sorry such a trivial thing bothers you, maybe when you have a very significant thing happen in your life you'll reflect on your past "grievances" and feel embarrassed by this post.

No it is not! I really really find it totally uncomfortable when someone talk about how i look!
So dont say it has to en about bragging - im shy enough as it is - just dont talk about my apperence!

I agree, sexism. People just don't point out mens bodies like they do womens.

The stealth part is not strong with this one 😆