Being unreasonable in wanting teenagers to come on holiday with us.

[Wearegoingtoneedabiggerboat]

I have two DD’s 17 and 18. I have two weeks off in the summer. The first week the youngest has a sporting event so that’s a no go for booking a holiday.
looking at a cottage with hot tub and somewhere where there are lots of things to do. Told youngest last night and they were like absolutely not, and they would rather stay at home.
i have offered to pay for a couple of days in London but they don’t want to do the underground by themselves.
so the options are leave them at home or bring them with us to have them moaning the whole holiday. I am open to any ideas they have of where they want to go. However They are just not bothered. We can’t really afford to go out of the country so it would have to be uk.
i would feel a bit mean leaving them at home. Most of my friends who have children the same age still go away with them.
So shall I just leave them at home, or any suggestions of where the moaning Myrtles would approve of.

Why don't you not go away for a whole week, instead have days out or maybe one night nearby a theme park (or whatever you all fancy) so you can spend the day together before coming home. Plan the day before too, perhaps shopping and tea out and hotel with pool.

Leave them. They’re practically adults and can make their own decisions.

Though having said that, why can’t they use the underground on their own?

What’s their reasoning for not wanting to do the underground by themselves?

they are also more than fine to be left at home, surely! You talk as if they’re 7 and 8, not 17 and 18.

Just leave them at home. You’re not being mean leaving them at home when they actually WANT to be left at home.

I didn’t go on holiday with my parents after the age of about 16 and I don’t think my siblings did, either.

Teenagers that age just don't want to go away with their parents, that's often their idea of hell! I remember being dragged away against my will for a long weekend in Felixstowe when I was 16, I was a miserable cow and spoilt it for everyone because I didn't want to be there.

Book something for yourself and enjoy, don't feel mean leaving them at home, they'll love it (and hopefully won't have too many wild parties😜)

Leave them home, at that age it’s normal not to want to come away with parents.

Ours are slightly older and we’ve been away several times without them. The dses enjoy the quiet of the house and we enjoy our holiday.

If they don't want to go leave them at home and go enjoy the free time to yourself
We have twins who are 17, they no longer want to come on holiday with us, they prefer to have the house to themselves for a week. We always ask them if they want to come but they usually say no.
We are going away with them in July because they want to come to where we are going but I'm pretty sure this will be our last holiday with them. We have been away without them twice this year already. They have boyfriends, their own lives and they aren't interested in coming away with us anymore, I think it's pretty normal.
I stopped going on holiday with my parents when I was 16 too

Also, I would be genuinely worried if I had two kids who were, at the age of 17/18, scared of using the Tube

17 years is going away with a friend for a week
other 17 year old if off on day trips
19 year old has several UK weekends booked and is looking for a cheap getaway towards the end of summer.

Sounds like they just don't want to do the things you like any more. They'd probably enjoy a parent-free week! I went away with DH recently and left the teenagers on their own - they encouraged us to.
They should be able to travel on the tube though. It's not that scary!

Leave them at home.

You go and enjoy yourself! Do things you want to do, suit entirely yourself. And do not feel guilty.

Oh and yeah they should be able to use public transport on their own at their ages

Totally agree about the tube. They want to do Harry Potter studio tours again. (I’ve been 3 times don’t want to do again for a long time) I could book London for them staying in Watford.

Just book your holiday, leave them at home and let them sort out their own trip to the Harry Potter studios! Good grief, if they can’t use the underground yet, they desperately need the practice at organising themselves!

I could book London for them staying in Watford.

”They can book London for themselves staying in Watford.” Fixed your typos for you.

I think it's normal. My parents took my brother to Lanzarote when I was in my first year of uni; I chose not to go with them and went to stay with a friend in Sweden instead!

Going against the grain here, but our dc 17 and 21 will be going abroard with us for 2 weeks this year. They love it, and are good company. Even been giving me ideas for destinations next year. Can't see our family hols dwindling any time soon, so for me it seems unusual for DC's NOT to want a holiday with parents, but again it depends on what your doing or where you going perhaps?

It’s tricky isn’t it at that age
Mine still come along and although there’s sometimes a bit of a reluctance they always seem to have a great time
They do seem to enjoy leaving their normal lives for a short time
Having said that we always put them at the certain of the planning and we would never pressurise them to come

That’s fine if yours want to go. But the OP’s don’t and that’s also fine (and normal).

My last family was aged 17. After that, I wanted to be more independent and go with my friends

@IsAnybodyListening

thats highly unusual. Most people their age would want to be go on holiday with their friends or girlfriend/boyfriend, rather than their parents.

but I would imagine you’re paying for it all so maybe that’s why

First of all it is best not to compare them with the children of your friends. It doesn't help - and you really do not know what has gone on behind the scenes!!

You have to deal with what you have got - and that is 2 young people who do not want to go on a holiday with their parents - I would regard that as completely normal.

Do you trust them not to have a wild party and wreck your house? If so, I would just go and enjoy yourselves and leave them to it. It really is no fun at all dragging two "pressed men" about on holiday, and you can bet your life there will be a row!

It depends where you go tbh, at that age I would have said yes to a nice sunny holiday by the beach in Corfu with my family, but a cottege in Cornwall, no way!!!

You’re talking about a holiday abroad. OP is talking about renting a cottage presumably somewhere in the UK. I think it’s normal for teens to take up the kind of holidays abroad they could never afford to do themselves and normal to shun the idea of any kind of uk holiday which probably sounds more boring than just staying at home for a week.

From the time I was about 16, I did not want to go on any kind of holidays with my parents and would much rather have been left at home to be able to hang out with my friends instead. Think this is pretty much the norm for kids that age.

I’m nervous on the Underground and I'm 62!!!
Its an unfamiliar place to me, very busy, noisy, dirty (in places). I do use it if I need to when I’m in London, but would prefer not to.

We've just come back from a week in France. My dd refused to countenance any trips with us this year so she stayed home. She starts Uni in September so I have another trip planned then. It's fab not being restricted to the school holidays again.