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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Kissing babies

119 replies

MUMbailey70 · 21/05/2022 22:07

Yesterday my partners son and girlfriend came around with their 3 month old baby. A little boy. They are very funny about anyone holding him but i did manage to get a little cuddle. As I held him i absent mindedly kissed the top of his head. I was in no uncertain terms told that kissing was a no no and I felt terrible. They told me that they had already fallen out with her mother over the issue. I obviously wont do it again as its against their wishes but I just wanted to ask what other people think of it. I know you shouldnt kiss babies on the mouth because of the worry of hpv but did I do something wrong ?

OP posts:
groeggmeg · 21/05/2022 22:13

You did nothing wrong unless the baby is severely immunocompromised. They just sound like hard work, how sad for them. I’m sure they’ll feel sad when no one wants to see the baby for fear they’ll do something wrong, don’t beat yourself up over it

prettylittlethingss · 21/05/2022 22:17

I think it's pretty common in this day and age for parents to request no kissing of their baby.
However I'm sure a lot of people on MN have a strong opinion on why that is so terrible.

VainAbigail · 21/05/2022 22:56

You kissed the top of his head and they freaked out??

OMG.

mycatisannoying · 21/05/2022 23:33

Weirdos.

mycatisannoying · 21/05/2022 23:33

YANBU.

MrsPelligrinoPetrichor · 21/05/2022 23:50

Bloody hell , how bonkers, I despair sometimes 🙄

elenacampana · 22/05/2022 00:03

V.odd!

HiJenny35 · 22/05/2022 00:30

Yabu, they don't want you to that's the end of it, there's nothing to discuss, their baby, their situation to deal with if the baby catches covid or any other bug, why would you even consider kissing a baby when theres so many bugs going round. You knew they were nervous. They have ever right to say they aren't comfortable with this.

oviraptor21 · 22/05/2022 00:39

Seems ridiculous to me.
Most babies and people benefit from touch and affection.

ermagerdabear · 22/05/2022 00:47

HiJenny35 · 22/05/2022 00:30

Yabu, they don't want you to that's the end of it, there's nothing to discuss, their baby, their situation to deal with if the baby catches covid or any other bug, why would you even consider kissing a baby when theres so many bugs going round. You knew they were nervous. They have ever right to say they aren't comfortable with this.

Don't be ridiculous. The baby is just as likely to catch a bug from being held as they are from a single kiss on the top of their head.

Thisismynamenow · 22/05/2022 00:49

Herpes virus can kill babies, so it's not unreasonable for parents to not any ANYONE kissing their baby as the risk isn't worth it.

There is plenty of time for kisses (IF) the child wants them at a later age.

I despise people (mainly my MIL who ignores my request not too, despite having the virus herself) kissing my 3 week old even on the forehead, there's no need at all for anyone other than me and DH to be kissing our baby.

Just don't kiss the baby, cuddles are sufficient.

Thisismynamenow · 22/05/2022 00:49

Herpes virus can kill babies, so it's not unreasonable for parents to not any ANYONE kissing their baby as the risk isn't worth it.

There is plenty of time for kisses (IF) the child wants them at a later age.

I despise people (mainly my MIL who ignores my request not too, despite having the virus herself) kissing my 3 week old even on the forehead, there's no need at all for anyone other than me and DH to be kissing our baby.

Just don't kiss the baby, cuddles are sufficient.

Thisismynamenow · 22/05/2022 00:53

oviraptor21 · 22/05/2022 00:39

Seems ridiculous to me.
Most babies and people benefit from touch and affection.

The only benefit babies get from being kissed is if the breastfeeding mother kisses them as the touch can determine the nutrient levels/needs in the breast milk.

Every other kiss from other people does nothing for the baby. Being held gives them sufficient social impacts.

Poppins2016 · 22/05/2022 00:56

I think what you did was perfectly natural and I wouldn't bat an eyelid. My parents and relatives kiss my children (a 3 year old and a baby) on the top of the head or their cheeks. I also kiss my children and my 3 year old likes to give kisses back to us.

I don't think you did anything unreasonable by assuming a kiss on the top of the head would be ok - I think they are being over the top - however you are right to abide by 'their baby, their rules'.

MrsPelligrinoPetrichor · 22/05/2022 10:06

herpes.org.uk/stop-scaring-mums-to-be/

Worth a read, only a danger of you have a cold sore, a kiss on a baby's head is no issue at all.

Lincslady53 · 22/05/2022 10:27

We have a 47 year old friend who has a constant problem with cold sores (herpes) which he caught from his grandma kissing him when he was a baby, this is nit uncommon.

MrsPelligrinoPetrichor · 22/05/2022 16:00

Your friend won't have caught the virus unless she kissed him with a cold sore which is pretty grim and she should've known better. A peck on a baby's head will not pass it on of you haven't got one. Saying that the majority of the population have the virus so it might not have even been from her he caught it. Tell him to take Lysinne supplements to help ward them off.

bunny85 · 22/05/2022 16:20

I've just seen this story in the Mirror online.. just thought I'd let you know

bunny85 · 22/05/2022 16:21

apple.news/A5I3qQMj5QM67jud6Y3-Vzg

girlmom21 · 22/05/2022 16:32

Have you apologised and explained it was a natural reaction?

MBK456 · 22/05/2022 16:38

I suspect they are "very funny about people holding him" because people push the boundaries they have put in place to protect their baby.

Pandarinio · 22/05/2022 16:40

bunny85 · 22/05/2022 16:20

I've just seen this story in the Mirror online.. just thought I'd let you know

That's ridiculous

orwellwasright · 22/05/2022 16:44

Thisismynamenow · 22/05/2022 00:53

The only benefit babies get from being kissed is if the breastfeeding mother kisses them as the touch can determine the nutrient levels/needs in the breast milk.

Every other kiss from other people does nothing for the baby. Being held gives them sufficient social impacts.

Show quote history

Woah there, mother fascist. God forbid a baby's dad might want to kiss his kid.

Don't you know ONLY THE MOTHER CAN KISS A BABY. EVERYTHING ELSE IS CHILD ABUSE AND DISRESPECTING THE SANCTITY OF THE WOMB.

orwellwasright · 22/05/2022 16:47

Also, basically you're staying you've got no right to kiss your baby if you FF, even if you're its mum.

I've heard it all now.

Gizacluethen · 22/05/2022 16:49

Don't kiss babies that aren't yours. Very simple.

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