Page 3 | Kissing babies

MUMbailey70 · 2022-05-21T21:07:56+00:00

Yesterday my partners son and girlfriend came around with their 3 month old baby. A little boy. They are very funny about anyone holding him but i did manage to get a little cuddle. As I held him i absent mindedly kissed the top of his head. I was in no uncertain terms told that kissing was a no no and I felt terrible. They told me that they had already fallen out with her mother over the issue. I obviously wont do it again as its against their wishes but I just wanted to ask what other people think of it. I know you shouldnt kiss babies on the mouth because of the worry of hpv but did I do something wrong ?

PinkSyCo · 22/05/2022 17:33

I feel desperately sorry for the woman’s mother, and her pfb come to that. I’m sure some people won’t be happy until we’ve all turned into robots devoid of emotion. Ridiculous.

parietal · 22/05/2022 17:38

A kiss on the forehead is a perfect way for ANYONE to check the babies temperature and tell if baby has a fever. If can give early warning of any illness. So it is good for baby.

But if the parents are PFB and say no, then poor baby.

girlmom21 · 22/05/2022 18:12

Might help if they said it before the kiss happens though.

They did.

Possiblynotever · 22/05/2022 18:24

I just kissed the head of my 2 years old neighbour this morning. His mummy got annoyed as he had just poured a whole bottle of Persil on his three months brother.😂

Kite22 · 22/05/2022 18:25

groeggmeg · 21/05/2022 22:13

You did nothing wrong unless the baby is severely immunocompromised. They just sound like hard work, how sad for them. I’m sure they’ll feel sad when no one wants to see the baby for fear they’ll do something wrong, don’t beat yourself up over it

This.

there are a few sad posters on this thread.

thingymaboob · 22/05/2022 18:28

Kissing someone else's newborn is out of order if it's against their wishes. You should always follow the rules set by the parents. Newborns are vulnerable to infection, they're just being sensible. It doesn't really matter what anyone thinks except the parents.

ElenaSt · 22/05/2022 18:29

Bonkers.

Over the top reaction probably due to some daft scaremongering in the media.

Let's hope they don't make the poor child wear a mask when it's older.

orwellwasright · 22/05/2022 18:30

You should always follow the rules set by the parents

Well this is nonsense isn't it. What if the parents think a diet of vindaloo from two weeks is what their baby needs?

THEIR BABY, THEIR RULES.

Insomniacsrule · 22/05/2022 18:31

Lincslady53 · 22/05/2022 10:27

We have a 47 year old friend who has a constant problem with cold sores (herpes) which he caught from his grandma kissing him when he was a baby, this is nit uncommon.

His parents must have told him this, as there's no way a baby would know who had kissed him. Could it just be that the parents are being a bit inventive? I don't think it's possible to say definitely that a kiss caused a cold sore.

felineweird · 22/05/2022 18:54

They sound insane!

ATadConfused · 22/05/2022 19:11

girlmom21 · 22/05/2022 18:12

Might help if they said it before the kiss happens though.

They did.

@girlmom21

why do you think YOU know better than the OP, what happened? She was there, presumably you weren't & in her OP she says she kissed the baby in the top of his head and afterwards was asked/told not to.

It's batshit, but what's even more batshit is expecting people to have a crystal ball & not do something that people routinely do & have done since Adam was a boy.

No harm at all kissing the top of a baby's head! IM DORRY A FEW new mums have been given this insane advice. I wonder if it's in areas with a lot of contagious stuff going around and they haven't specified on/near the mouth??

Fairislefandango · 22/05/2022 19:14

Weirdos

^This. God I'm glad my friends and I all had babies before this kind of paranoid attitude became commonplace.

Antihistamine62 · 22/05/2022 19:18

i don’t think anyone should be kissing a baby that’s not their own.
I also had the no kissing rule when my child was a baby. This wasn’t new for me as growing up whenever there was a new baby in the family it was instilled in us all that we don’t kiss the baby.
my MIL on the other hand thought it was because I didn’t want my child to bond with her (that’s another story).
you have apologised for it, they won’t hold it against you forever. Everyone loves that people love and adore there babies. My MIL and child have the loveliest relationship so the no kissing didn’t effect them as she insisted it would at the time.
Dont dwell on it OP.

thingymaboob · 22/05/2022 21:05

orwellwasright · 22/05/2022 18:30

You should always follow the rules set by the parents

Well this is nonsense isn't it. What if the parents think a diet of vindaloo from two weeks is what their baby needs?

THEIR BABY, THEIR RULES.

Because no kissing is acting in baby's best interest and a diet if vindaloo isn't?

MrsPelligrinoPetrichor · 23/05/2022 00:14

Considering the child sore virus is so common do mothers and fathers who have it never kiss their own children ? It's a wonder all children aren't permanently riddled with cold sores🙄 My dh gets cold sores ( hasn't had one for ages since talking Lysine) but some how after over 30 years of being with him I've never had one and neither has ds despite being 8 weeks prem and being covered with kisses from him( obviously NOT if he actually had one.)

thingymaboob · 23/05/2022 01:18

MrsPelligrinoPetrichor · 23/05/2022 00:14

Considering the child sore virus is so common do mothers and fathers who have it never kiss their own children ? It's a wonder all children aren't permanently riddled with cold sores🙄 My dh gets cold sores ( hasn't had one for ages since talking Lysine) but some how after over 30 years of being with him I've never had one and neither has ds despite being 8 weeks prem and being covered with kisses from him( obviously NOT if he actually had one.)

If the mother has the cold sore virus, temporary immunity passes to the newborn so newborns are immune to Whichever strain of HSV the mother has. However, baby's born to mothers who don't have HSV have no immunity which is why a mother can kiss her own baby but others should not.

Bunty55 · 23/05/2022 01:32

My new grandson was born on 7th May and I have cuddled him but would not dream of kissing him. I live with my daughter and 3 year old grandson who picks up everything going at Nursery. It's just common sense not to really

MrsPelligrinoPetrichor · 23/05/2022 08:32

thingymaboob · 23/05/2022 01:18

If the mother has the cold sore virus, temporary immunity passes to the newborn so newborns are immune to Whichever strain of HSV the mother has. However, baby's born to mothers who don't have HSV have no immunity which is why a mother can kiss her own baby but others should not.

Show quote history

And the father's?

MrsPelligrinoPetrichor · 23/05/2022 08:33

**random apostrophe!

orwellwasright · 23/05/2022 08:35

thingymaboob · 22/05/2022 21:05

Because no kissing is acting in baby's best interest and a diet if vindaloo isn't?

Show quote history

Absolutely.

So you should always follow the parents' rules? Or only when they're not batshit or abusive?

The poster clearly said always. Which is nonsense isn't it.

Darbs76 · 23/05/2022 08:50

There’s no way I’d be upset at family for kissing the top of my babies head.

myunameis · 23/05/2022 09:20

I personally agree with no kissing a baby and also agree very strongly that people should follow the parent's rules even if they think they're over the top.

Also yes as pp say mum and dad might have the cold sore virus themselves but I'm pretty sure they could be trusted to avoid kissing if they could feel a cold sore coming on, whereas others might not be as fussy or pay as much attention/the parents don't know if they would think of these things. It's far more awkward to start asking visitors if they have the virus and if they have any little tingles today 😂 maybe inspecting their lips up close 😅 or singling certain people out. far easier to say just please no kisses as a blanket rule, easy peasy, no big deal and the baby doesn't exactly miss out. Cuddles are fine!
Also we've found when you say top of their head is fine sometimes the kiss ends up landing more like their temple and very close to their little eyes which is not ok.

Idontevenknow · 23/05/2022 09:36

I think its perfectly reasonable for grandmother who is not unwell to give their grandchild a quick kiss on the head.

They're being a bit precious. Just ride it out and hopefully they relax soon. You've apologised and won't do it again (as sad as that is). There's not much else you can do st this point but absolutely don't beat yourself up about it.

cottagegardenflower · 23/05/2022 09:47

It's a reasonable request. It's their baby and with a first born you are pretty neurotic. Yanbu because if they felt this way they should have informed you first of their wishes,

Calphurnia88 · 23/05/2022 10:07

thingymaboob · 22/05/2022 18:28

Kissing someone else's newborn is out of order if it's against their wishes. You should always follow the rules set by the parents. Newborns are vulnerable to infection, they're just being sensible. It doesn't really matter what anyone thinks except the parents.

This.

As a new mum, current guidance is not to kiss a baby on or near the lips to reduce the risk of infection, which in tiny babies could be fatal due their undeveloped immune systems. So either the parents are being extra cautious (which is their prerogative) or decided it's easier just to have a general 'don't kiss the baby' rule with visitors.

For PP who have labelled the parents 'insane' and cried 'poor baby' I really think the health of the new baby and the wishes of the parents (based on official guidance) are more important than kisses from Grandad's partner.

FWIW we told family not to kiss our baby on the face. As a new parent you're always worrying about what you are doing to/for your baby, so having to worry about what others are doing is exhausting. It doesn't mean my baby will be wrapped in cottonwool their whole lives.