Kissing babies

[MUMbailey70]

Yesterday my partners son and girlfriend came around with their 3 month old baby. A little boy. They are very funny about anyone holding him but i did manage to get a little cuddle. As I held him i absent mindedly kissed the top of his head. I was in no uncertain terms told that kissing was a no no and I felt terrible. They told me that they had already fallen out with her mother over the issue. I obviously wont do it again as its against their wishes but I just wanted to ask what other people think of it. I know you shouldnt kiss babies on the mouth because of the worry of hpv but did I do something wrong ?

The baby and the parents are more important than your desire to kiss a cute baby.
The number of people who think they just have the right to kiss anyone’s baby and get pissed off if the parent is upset is crazy! Not your baby, just don’t kiss them. It’s pretty easy.

I’m looking after my toddler and my baby grandsons right now and, between feeding and playing with them, have not stopped kissing them. Luckily for me my DD and DSIL haven’t got sticks up their arses so it’s all good. 👍 😁

I think it’s weird that people have an urge to kiss a baby that’s not theirs. But I see it’s normal for most.

I’d be pissed if someone tried to kiss my baby on the lips/mouth but just couldn’t get remotely worked up about a kiss on the top of the head

Yes, they are U but it's still their rules. They might think it's presumptuous to kiss their baby without checking first. Nobody's doing anything wrong, just respect the parents wishes now that you know. They'll likely drop their inhibitions over it as baby gets older.

A friend’s baby died of neonatal herpes, from a kiss on the top of the head from a family member.

It’s not remotely stupid to ask people not to kiss newborns and yes, to be honest, you did do something wrong.

Delightful.

Have you (or OP) bothered to look up why it's so risky to kiss a newborn? And what can happen if (god forbid) a newborn should become ill? Of course not, because Nana knows best 🙄

A quick Google search will return plenty of results. Your desire for kisses does not trump a new baby's health/parents wishes!

herpes.org.uk/cold-sores/

According to this link, you can't catch it from sharing mugs, lipstick , cutlery etc ONLY from direct skin to skin contact through broken skin so a kiss on the head won't be a danger.

I don't follow.

Skin on baby's head could be broken (rashes, scratches from tiny baby nails). This is more plausible than someone sharing a cuppa or swapping lipsticks with a newborn?

You think it's odd to want to kiss your grandchild's head?

It wasn't some complete stranger giving it tongues.

But only with coldsore. Obviously of someone has one it makes sense to stay away.

Cold sores are only caught by direct skin contact, with the affected area. They are not caught through sharing cups, cutlery, towels, lipstick, etc. (unless there is warm pus on the item).
Experts are definite about this, though this fact is sometimes ignored by unreliable sources on the Internet and elsewhere

That was meant to be bold, this site is ridiculous since the 'upgrade' 🙄😂

@MrsPelligrinoPetrichor only the mothers immunity passes onto baby, not fathers for obvious reasons (her blood crosses placenta). If mother does not have HSV but the father does and he kisses his own baby with a cold sore he risks giving the baby neonatal herpes. The baby only has immunity to the strain of HSV that the mother has

HPV!?

I think it's common sense to not try to touch anyone's baby under any circumstances without express permission.

I wouldn't mind because it's normal natural behaviour and I'm not a germaphobe.

But I know that most people will mind. I have a barely controllable urge to kiss all babies but know that I can't. And I would never dream of kissing any baby who was not my own. I wouldn't even kiss my friends older children though I am very affectionate towards them.

You're wrong. The human body is actually incredible. And yes you can make specific antibodies to be produced in the milk based on kissing super senses (not the scientific term).

Not unreasonable for accidentally kissing the baby (they are SO soft!)
Not unreasonable for the parents not to want you to do so. Baby colds are an effing nightmare.

The baby is not yours. If the parents request you not to kiss them, dont. No matter the reasoning behind it.

My DD contracted herpes simplex 1 (i.e. coldsores) as a baby and has struggled with huge recurring coldsores which take over most of her upper lip and nose ever since (now 13) which are very painful, look awful and leave marks for months after the initial breakout has resolved.

She is under consultant care and on daily double doses of prophylactic Aciclovir tablets (which she has to have regular blood tests for as this can affect her kidneys ... and to add insult to injury is terrified of needles), she's had her immune system checked and it's all good so wasn't vulnerable to contracting the virus. We don't know who gave her it as neither EXH nor I have the virus.

So, I can see their point!

Blimey. If you'd given the baby a smacker on the lips I could understand it but a peck on the top of the head?? They are being ridiculous.

Look into Lysine supplements ,they've helped dh enormously.

Sorry to hear this, but I do hope that PP who have denounced the parents as 'insane' for following official guidance read this and understand what the impact of these actions can be. I think it's terribly selfish for relatives to assume their feelings are more important than the health of the baby.

A PP has posted a link to a reputable website which states that herpes can be spread through broken skin.

It's common for babies to have skin rashes, especially on their heads and faces, as well as scratches from tiny nails in the early weeks.

Is a kiss from Great Aunt Mildred really that important you'd risk the health of a new baby?

But it's ONLY if she has a cold sore, not otherwise.

Cold sores are the new Covid on MN !

God there are some bonkers types out there.

We instinctively go to kiss babies chubby little cheeks because we are biologically programmed to shower them with affection, it's completely normal.