I usually don’t comment on these types of threads, but so much mis-information gets thrown around.
For the TLDR crowd : parents, do whatever you feel is right for yourself and your baby / whatever you are comfortable with.
Anyone else must respect your wishes as the right and respectful thing to do, otherwise bugger off and lose baby privileges.
If any random person tries to kiss my baby without consent they will definitely be getting kicked to the kerb in no uncertain terms.
But…For any interested in the current medical facts on this and hasn’t read the links posted by PPs :
I say this as both somebody about to give birth any day now to PFB, AND a person who has family members affected hugely with HSV (myself and DP included).
HSV (not HPV), which I assume is what the OP is referring to, has many strains. It’s almost impossible to avoid it in some form, in every day life, unless you are a hermit.
This absolutely can, in rare cases, be fatal to newborns.
However… HSV1 and HSV2, the strains causing oral and genital issues, are present in as much as 75% of adults by the age 25, more likely as we age / have contact with more people.
These can be latent and asymptomatic in as much as 80% of affected people.
You will probably never know they are “infected”.
The “but I’ve never had a cold sore” crowd… I’m talking to you. This means nothing.
There is no vaccine currently, and neither strain is routinely screened for by GPs or sexual health clinics for numerous reasons.
It is not always infectious, but CAN be transmitted WITHOUT any visible “coldsores” from a process called viral shedding. This would be through skin contact, as others have correctly stated.
It usually transmits to mucous membrane areas eg. mouth, nose, eyes etc but CAN affect hands etc. in rarer cases.
If the mother is HSV+, the baby will receive her antibodies in utero and through breast milk, and is therefore protected for the first few months of life.
Unless mother is newly / primary infected in late pregnancy, in which case no antibodies formed yet and no protection for baby.
So vulnerable baby = “no kissing” rule would have to also apply to the babies own father / other parent / any other family members etc.
Because it’s highly likely at least one of them has HSV and probably isn’t showing signs.
Additionally, HSV negative mum and dad (or caregiver) must then kiss no other people going forward, as they could also then unknowingly newly catch it and pass along to unsuspecting baby.
So no kisses allowed at all, unless you are the HSV negative parent, who has not recently kissed / close contact with any other persons.
In short, unless you are 100% certain (impossible) of people’s status, including your own and partner’s… You can’t protect baby with any certainty.
Nobody wants HSV, or any other nasty buggies, but they lurk among us. And not just within the “nans” and “Great Aunt Mildred’s”.
Always check in with mama/ parent regarding their views and consent.
Nobody is entitled to baby anyway.
Finally, not just applicable to HSV. Same thing goes for any other illness. Cold, Covid, sickness, sore throat. Stay away from the poor mites, why wouldn’t you.
Until they are in Nursery and turn into plague carriers and it will then be the other way round… they will take you down.