To care that my children’s great grandparents were first cousins?

[Antipoodean]

Not particularly unusual perhaps, but I come from a very diverse gene pool myself (different hemispheres). I only learnt that my MIL’s parents were first cousins after we had children. Would this bother you? My dcs are healthy and I am not worried about them, I’d have had them
with the knowledge, it’s just a bit disconcerting.

You can think something is normal without wanting to do it yourself, or wanting it for your DC, though.

I also suspect that if you lived in the 1800's, in relative poverty and in a small village, it would be very normal (even inevitable) to marry a cousin!

I think our view of cousins colours this. I have 5 cousins, 2 male. I'm not hugely close to them but have grown up seeing them for Christmas etc since I was a child. I have been to uni, lived in several places, had jobs, different friendship circles, been out and about. So I have meet lots of men who I could potential pursue a relationship with, rather than the 2 that are related to me.

If I lived in a small community with multiple cousins, so a significant proportion of the people my age were related to me, and there were more limited opportunities to meet others, I might feel differently. Especially as my cousins may be more likely to be of a similar background, which was probably more of a consideration in the past.

A girl I went to school with (we are 30s now) was introduced to her cousin to marry. He lived abroad and she didn't know him. They did end up marrying and have 2 kids. It seemed odd at the time but forgotten now. Some areas (talking about England but sure other places do to) have a high amount of cousins marrying and have professionals counselling them due to the genetic risks.

are the 'why it it ick?' people okay with the thought of their kid marrying their sibling's kid??

Why wouldn't they be okay with it - I'm sure we are all intelligent enough to understand what cousins marrying involves and those who have said it's not "ick" aren't imagining it means anything else.

I agree I find it totally gross. I think I find it so gross because I am very close to my sibling who has children.

She is asking about opinions though, not about facts, logically enough as her children are fine.

According to Wikipedia, about 10% of marriages worldwide are between first or second cousins. So it’s common enough somewhere.

Rubbish 🤣 it's still perfectly legal! I do wish people would do even the most basic google check before spouting off 'facts' like this 🤦‍♀️

My grandparents were closely related, not first cousins but they are descended from the same couple. I'm fine.

This. We're now socially conditioned to find it disturbing (despite it being legal where I am). But that wasn't always the case, and it seems ridiculous to be disturbed about it at several generations removed.

There is a massive list of 'things that used to be okay and now aren't'. This is just one of them.

A girl I went to school with (we are 30s now) was introduced to her cousin to marry. He lived abroad and she didn't know him. They did end up marrying and have 2 kids. It seemed odd at the time but forgotten now. Some areas (talking about England but sure other places do to) have a high amount of cousins marrying

This could have happened because getting a UK immigration visa is very difficult for individuals from certain countries unless they are applying as a spouse. In a culture where people can marry a cousin and where families frequently have the power to arrange or veto a marriage, the easiest way to get that visa is to arrange a marriage.

Cousin marriage tends to be a frequent occurrence in places in the world where clan affiliation is high, where trust within society is low, in patriarchal societies, and where women do not enjoy full human or civil rights.

We're now socially conditioned to find it disturbing...

There are lots of RCs in the UK who probably do not consider the 'conditioning' a new thing. It has been banned by the RC church for over 1500 years.

British society is not homogenous.

The Daily Mail had an article in June 2021 about a report on the effects of "cousin marriages" on babies. It was based on a particular area of England that had a high number of people marrying either first or second cousins.

One of my close friends has his daughter married to his nephew and his son married to his niece, nephew and niece are from different brothers. In the last year he's had a grandchild from each both boys and now they're hoping for girls to be born so another family match can be made. It's considered preferable to them to marry in the family, less chance of marriage breakdown. They don't believe in any genetic risks and put any and all criticisms down to racism.

Surely the 'ick' factor is influenced by how often you see your cousins?

If you grow up close, similar to siblings it's pretty ick.

But some people only see cousins 1/2 per year if that so maybe not so ick?

I know a couple wo are first cousins. I went to the wedding. Not a culture thing but not illegal.

OP I also find it a bit off.... and in your mil case with the age difference too...yuck.

My dad's mum had a sister who married the brother of my dad's dad (so two sisters married two brothers). I've always wondered whether it would have been legal for my dad to have married his cousin because genetically they'd be more like siblings than cousins. Fortunately that was never on the cards!

Yeah it's legal but it's still weird as fuck. Hopefully your MIL diluted the gene pool with her choice of husband.

The age difference is much more disturbing than they being cousins to me!

But things were very different a few generations back. And I’ve read enough Regency novels for cousins marrying not to bother me at all. Best to keep all
that lovely money and property in the family 😉

Yeah it's definitely gross. I wouldn't know one of my cousins at all, think I've met him once and 2 of the others I didn't see for about 30 odd years so not close but I still wouldn't want to sleep with them

I guess years ago it was less weird with people not moving about and having lots of children

I wouldn't be happy if one of my sons decided to be with one of my sisters daughters though

Well I'm going to throw a grenade into this thread......I've been married to mine (our dads are brothers),for 22 years. We rarely saw each other as children and didn't see each other at all for about 15 years when I moved away. We met again at a mutual friend's party after I had moved back following my divorce. The relationship raised a few eyebrows from the family at the beginning but they soon got over it and life carried on. As my dad told me all those years ago "those that matter don't care, and those that care don't matter".

@danmthatonestakentryanotheer do you have children?

I think it’s gross.

And yet older women have children all the time without thinking of the risks .

Not together, no. I have an adult DD who was 10 at the time and he doesn't have any. I didn't want anymore DC and he was fine with that otherwise we probably would have. DD's opinion was the only one that mattered at the time and she was, and still is, fine with it.