To regret adopting the cat after a day

[chatterbug22]

I feel terribly guilty even writing this.

it was something that was really well researched, we spoke to rescues and cat owners, spent hours searching on the internet of dos and donts

We brought home our first cat yesterday, he’s a rescue and he is very affectionate but I am really out my depth. I was the one that wanted a cat, my partner warmed to the idea and now absolutely adores him but though he’s a lovely moggy I just don’t feel the same way.

He meows terribly whenever I shut any doors, kitchen, bedroom, toilet and is very upset when even one of us is out of the lounge. He will scratch at any closed door. He has everything in there to settle himself with including familiar items that have come with him. He has always been around other cats and we have none.

He’s never been outdoors and will need to remain indoors as we live on an estate that is still being built, so would be dangerous for him to go out. My lounge has been taken over by his things (2 beds, cat tree, two litter trays, food dishes) and have tried our hardest to clean and antibac with cat friendly products but the smell of the litter tray remains and is making me feel quite down. I just can’t settle or relax and feel like everywhere is dirty already. I understand it’s par for the course with pets and went into it with this understanding but finding it challenging nonetheless.

I know lots of people love cats and this little sweetheart does deserve the best, but it’s just been a huge culture shock for me. I don’t want to jump the gun, but my heart is saying take him back to rescue. I am avoiding bringing this up with DP as he adores him and would hate for him to be upset.

All not helped by the fact I am unexpectedly very itchy, sneezing a bit and feel quite tight chested.

Please be kind in your advice, it was hard to be honest even to strangers and I acknowledge my feelings probably aren’t fair in this situation.

Just want to do what’s best by everyone.

Ps cats come alive at night & can sound hyperactive if you’re a light sleeper. Don’t expect him to go to sleep all night. Just another thing to be aware of.

This.

@Philisophigal and you're too nasty to be allowed to talk to people.

We have this litter and it’s BRILLIANT.

Iris Ohyama, Cat litter tray with perforated lid, no odor & litter spill, large entrance, scoop included, for cat - Top Entry Cat Litter Box TECL-20 - Grey www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B07J32Y5SF/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_7D5490S5MS90MDGEGJ9G

I never understood the whole “lock them in a room’ advice for new cats. I always plunk them in the middle of the house and let them have at it. Even when I introduce a new one to existing cat residents. Some will find a safe place to hide for a few days and some will act like they’ve always lived there. Either way they’re going to feel more secure finding their own hidey hole than being locked up. Cats want multiple means of escape, so shut doors are stressful.

the stuff you bought is fine. Nothing wrong with 2 boxes. I laughed at the two beds… chances are they will never get used. The cat tree is a good idea, but again it’s a crapshoot if your cat will use it.

Spread the stuff out and let the cat explore, you will all relax and find your groove.

Every single pet I've got, I've had the moment(s) of "oh sh*t, why did I do this?!". But eventually they become part of your family and routine. Wouldn't be without our cats now but definitely had regrets at the beginning

How can this be a "culture shock?" It's one cat, not North Korea.

🤣🤣🤣

A longer but miserable life trapped in a few rooms. For years.

It's premature to expect a cat to settle in just one day. It takes time..

What litter are you using? I've found the wooden pellet litter to be the best. Any other makes the house stink of cat wee

OP, we've adopted several cats over the years. We haven't once kept any of them in one room to 'settle them in'! The only important thing is to make sure they stay in for 2 weeks so they know where 'home' now is if they are to be outdoor cats (all of ours are/have been) and indoor cats need plenty of cat trees (at least one on each floor if in a house, or in at least 2 rooms if in a flat/bungalow), plenty of activity toy options, especially for indoor cats (think feathers on long wands which you allow them to chase around the room) and options for beds (cardboard boxes and a cat cushion will do - none of ours have ever used a 'proper' cat bed!) and places to sit/hide/sleep as they wish.

Lidded litter trays are a must - we have the extra-large kind, lined with newspaper, and then a litter tray in the bottom of the lidded tray so that it's easier to clean out each day, and doesn't need cleaning completely so often. Make sure you have the cat litter your cat is used to - they will protest in not exactly the cleanest of ways if they don't like the one you've chosen!

Don't worry about giving your cat the run of the house/flat - they need to explore their new environment on their own terms. Remember, you don't own the cat, the cat owns you!

I hope you feel it's getting a bit easier day by day. How old is your rescue, out of interest? Younger cats need more play/interaction/exercise than older, more sedate 'I'll just lie here and sleep all day, if that's ok with you' cats!

And you know the rule on mumsnet - photos of your cat are mandatory!

Wow - poor cat

I read the stuff about keeping a cat in one room before we bought our rescue home. She had to her ideas and was off exploring the house within seconds!

Be lead by the cat, my cat hates shut doors and will meow. We now sleep with our bedroom door open and she comes and goes as she chooses.

We only have one litter tray too in the downstairs loo and with time have changed the litter and it rarely smells now. We started with a covered tray but Dcat is a large breed and although she came to us underweight, she has since gained weight and it didn’t seem a good fit any more so we went for a larger open one which works fine.

Cat beds are rarely used in my experience, our cat came with a cardboard scratcher which she adores and various other bits she has never looked at. Cardboard scratchers are great and worth the money.

It’s really early days, I hope it works out for you.

I'm mildly allergic to cats but since adopting my cats it has eased so if you're lucky you'll adjust and build up a resistance! Litter tray needs to go to a room you don't spend much time in, some Litter smells worse than others, needs scooping daily and poops will stink so asap. Cats don't like being shut out of or inside rooms so leave doors open! Day 1 they do say keep them confined to a quiet room on their own to get used to eing somewhere new. It's a new experience for the cat too! Good luck

@DontKeepTheFaith We have a maine coon, and he's a huge, heavy boy!! But we have found a covered extra-large Catit litter tray on amazon that fits him. Plenty of room to turn around in it - he doesn't seem to find it restricting at all.

Agree with everything else you said though!

Don't panic . One day is not going to be reflecting how it will be when you are used to each other . I've adopted several rescues. IME being shut in a room exacerbates any anxiety they have . They like to roam & hate being shut in anywhere .Leave doors open but give him a corner with a bed where he can retreat if he's overwhelmed. If he's clingy already he prob will want to sleep by you at night. One litter tray is fine, covered to keep smells down. Mine is by the back door. If they find a regular spot they like for napping put a fleece there to protect your furniture: & make it 'theirs': they're creatures of habit & like routine. Most of mine have gravitated to a chair in the sitting room that's theirs alone ever after & my bed where they have their own blankie to cut down on laundry/cat hair etc. ).

I think you'll get used to it and love it. I'd had cats before when we got our current rescue cat and after a few days I was in tears regretting it because all he did was hide and hiss at us. But then he settled in, we adjusted and he's such a big old soppy part of the family now!

I'd be more concerned about allergy than any of the other things. But agree don't jump to conclusions about that, give it a bit more time.

Please OP, don't give him up, he's scratching at the door cos he wants to be with you.

You can't keep cats out of most rooms (maybe the odd room, e.g. my cat is not allowed in my home workshop), generally they will want the run of the house. We used to try and keep him out of our bedroom because my husband is allergic, he pulled holes in the carpet. He wanted to be with us. Do what we did and just get air filters and take the occasional antihistamine. These days our cat sleeps on the bed every night and it is terribly sweet!

For litter tray you only need one, get a covered one with a carbon filter and use "World's Best Cat Litter". You can also put an air freshener near the tray but with an air filter/covered tray you should not need it.

He's lonely,unsettled and doesn't understand what's going on.
Think of his life from his pov.he gets picked up,put down in strange places with no say in the matter.have some compassion,stop thinking of yourself and concentrate on him.he sensed you don't want him.
Please be kind and loving,take time to get to know him,bond with him.
Poor little soul.
He will repay you a thousand times over.

It will take time, give it some time and you’ll soon settle into a routine

Yes, I have seen very large covered litter trays and they look great but our downstairs loo just isn’t big enough unfortunately. Thankfully it is the loo so we don’t spend too much time in there😀

Can you get one of those outdoor cages for the cat. I’ve seen people make like a run from a cat flap that leads to a large enclosed outside area.

you’re only 1 day in though. I would expect the cats behaviour would calm as they settle.

Honestly in terms of litter... Sanicat White in Cotton Fresh. It's a game changer.

Also you really don't need two litter trays. Just get one large tray with a lid and flap.

Give it some time. Some cats settle immediately and you wonder how you ever lived without them, others are a work in progress. Like others have suggested, I would certainly allow it to roam the house and not confine it to the one room.

Best of luck, don't give up yet because it will get better and rescuing an animal is so fulfilling.

We adopted our boy as an indoor cat 15 months ago.

on day 1 he jumped out of the box, on the worktop, inspected the entire house and then when we retreated to the bedroom to give him some space, followed us upstairs and promptly fell asleep on the bed. All cats have different characters; our boy was confident so didn’t need the security of one room, plus he’s very social and affectionate so just wanted to be wherever we are. You need to open the doors and follow his lead. And YY to all the posters saying litter and food in the kitchen/bathroom, no need for 2 etc.

also, they settle over time. My boy is confident and sociable but used to get shut in one room overnight as he would meow ALL night to start with or treat our feet under the duvet as play time! As he settled, we didn’t need to shut him in as he knew we’d be there in the morning and he didn’t bother us at night. This has now gradually evolved into sleeping on the bed with us, but he is no bother and it’s very sweet. But if we thought he was settled after 1 month, that was a different cat to the one we had at 3 months and different again to the uber loving and snuggly boy we have now.

giving him a loving home has been the most rewarding thing we have ever done. We offer him play, regular meals and a safe home and in return he gazes at us lovingly and wants constant cuddles.

Best thing for a cat to settle into and feel safe is a cardboard box, preferably with a blanket in the bottom. No need for fancy cat beds. Cats love the protection of a cardboard box.